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Posts by cjhanna82
Name: Chris Hanna
Joined: Dec 15, 2013
Last Post: Dec 27, 2013
Threads: 3
Posts: 6  
Likes: 1
From: United States of America
School: McQuaid

Displayed posts: 9
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cjhanna82   
Dec 27, 2013
Undergraduate / Common App Essay Prompt 5 - jumping the puddle [6]

toonistic
Re-edit is near flawless.

I still wonder about the road not taken, about what I might have become had I not been rushed into adulthood as I was.
"I was" is unnecessary.
cjhanna82   
Dec 27, 2013
Undergraduate / "KEEP WORKING" - Central to identity [4]

qian1951
Excellent. It reveals a lot about your character & work ethic, while also exploring your academic interests (science/lab work.) You could add a few personal/comical touches if you want to improve it.
cjhanna82   
Dec 26, 2013
Undergraduate / Why Northwestern? Social Policy Program [4]

Northwestern Statement: What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified? (250 words)

An exhaustive, protracted college search has led me to the following conclusion: Northwestern's Social Policy Program is the only undergraduate major in the nation that synthesizes all academic fields relevant to the improvement of human society. There exists no college-level program better suited to enable me to achieve my goal of becoming a pioneer of stronger, more comprehensive social programs for underserved immigrant and refugee communities in the United States. I am confident that the School of Education and Social Policy's intimate advising, discussion-based classes, and required practicums will allow me to build upon my work with impoverished communities in both academic and applied settings and prepare me for a life lived in the pursuit of societal betterment.

The fact that Northwestern offers the "best of both worlds" has largely prompted my application for admissions; Its students have access to both small classes and a vibrant college town, while also enjoying the opportunities that both a large-sized research university and the city of Chicago have to offer. Additionally, I am drawn to Northwestern's uniquely driven student body, which maintains a rich culture of activism and involvement that is readily identifiable on the campus and greater college community. Service opportunities presented by student groups such as LIFT-Chicago will allow me to expand upon my commitment to community-based work and gain practical experience that links into my long-term career goals. In 2018, I hope to enter the world with a Northwestern diploma in-hand. I am confident that there is nowhere it will be unable to take me.
cjhanna82   
Dec 26, 2013
Undergraduate / The Cranbrook Community - A Place where i feel completely Content [3]

This community is so meaningful to me in the sense that it has given me the education, strength, and other essential tools to tackle all challenges my future holds for me.

To tighten up the ending...
The community possesses remarkable meaning to me as an individual; It has equipped me with the education and strength necessary to tackle the challenges that the future has in store for me.
cjhanna82   
Dec 26, 2013
Undergraduate / POLISH. TUFTS SHORT ESSAYS... COMMENTS - GRAMMAR/CONTENT? [2]

Why Tufts? (50-100 words)
An older friend of mine once described Tufts as a "more diverse, international and basically better" version of his Boston-area school. When I stumbled across the description of a Tufts class called "Latino Music, Migration and Identity" while flipping through the university's course catalog, I sensed that he was onto something. In a sea of selective Northeastern schools with nearly identical student and academic cultures, Tufts is a striking exception. For all its quirks and the unmatched passion of its student body, I've fallen in love with the school atop Walnut Hill.

Which aspects of Tufts' curriculum or undergraduate experience prompt your application? In short: "Why Tufts?" (Suggested length is 50-100 words.)There is a Quaker saying: "Let your life speak." Describe the environment in which you were raised-your family, home, neighborhood or community-and how it influenced the person you are today. (Suggested length 200-250 words)

I am the son of two parents who hail from radically different backgrounds. My mother, born into a family of working-class Polish immigrants, was reared in the blue-collar quadrant of my city (known universally among locals as "the West Side.") My father, on the other hand, was born and raised in what is known colloquially as "the East Side," the city's Anglo-Saxon, affluent suburbs. Needless to say, the courtship period of their relationship was basically an updated, Upstate New York version of Arthur Laurent's West Side Story (with slight modifications to the character's ethnic backgrounds and without the awful death of the play's male protagonist at the ending of it.)

In my life's retelling of the famed 1950s classic, the Polish Maria always stayed true to her humble upbringing, dedicating her adult life to providing social services to impoverished, disadvantaged communities in the city of Rochester's broken neighborhoods. Her progressiveness and strong sense of social responsibility has always complemented - or perhaps contrasted - the entrepreneurial, free-market spirit of her Tony, the financially successful son of a pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps business owner and Vietnam draft officer. My childhood exposure to this parental duality of worldviews has impressed upon me the ability to truly comprehend and sympathize with views unlike my own. (After all, during my nine-month stay in my mother's womb, I had no choice but to listen to my parents combatively debate the merits of Bill Clinton's famous welfare reform legislation. I've been able to empathize with both sides of the coin ever since.)

My unfailingly charitable mother's commitment to social justice has instilled in me a passion for community-based work, while my father's entrepreneurial ambition and success has equipped me with the knowledge that with determination and finesse, no goal is out of reach. With the initiative of my father and the selflessness of my mother in hand, I am determined to actualize change in the community as a leader and advocate. Here's to a West Side Story with a considerably more fruitful conclusion!

What makes you happy?
I subscribe to the age-old maxim that "the greatest happiness comes from making others happy." Don't get me wrong; I am perfectly content with curling up with a good book or collapsing on the living room couch to catch up on the latest episode of Law & Order: SVU. With a heavy academic workload and a demanding plate of extracurricular activities on my table at all times of the year, this guy needs some "me-time" to stay sane. Nevertheless, such activities never fail to give rise to a gnawing, irrepressible sense of restlessness. But when I'm helping a debate teammate to perfect their oratorical delivery skills or putting a smile on a three year-old Nepali refugee's face with a simple game of peek-a-boo, feelings of anxiety and inquietude are nowhere to be found.

If I were to author a dictionary with a philosophical edge, I would define happiness as "a natural human currency that possesses inherent value and is multiplied through person-to-person contact." My definitional justification? The observable, undeniable fact that helping another to cultivate himself or herself will always profit both individuals involved, whether it be emotionally or materially. That's why if I'm presented with the opportunity to choose between working on my Tufts admissions essays at a local Starbucks or helping a friend to tackle the Common App's' daunting personal essay, I'll much more enthusiastically opt for the latter. To quote Isabel Allende, "We only have what we give."
cjhanna82   
Dec 26, 2013
Undergraduate / Why Penn? I can pursue my dream of integrating science and international relations! [6]

Following and leading the path guided by Penn of applying education into service to the world, I aspire to be an advocate for children at risk around the world, who will find hidden vulnerabilities that affect poor, sick, and traumatized children and then work to overcome those challenges.

This sentence is a bit messy. I would synthesize the second half into a single fragment...
"... at risk around the world; I will work to craft solutions to the challenges that poor, sick and traumatized children face."

Something like that!
cjhanna82   
Dec 26, 2013
Undergraduate / "KEEP WORKING" - Central to identity [4]

qian1951

"The success will come upon you eventually."
Success will come to you eventually sounds much better.

"What I don't know was that the first task was only a beginning."
Change to What I didn't know
cjhanna82   
Dec 26, 2013
Undergraduate / Iraq - Common App Personal Essay - Reflect on a time you challenge a belief or idea... [2]

Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea? What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again? ***Any all advice/comments/suggestions on grammar/syntax/content are MUCH APPRECIATED!!! ... and I need to delete 3 words,so any help with that is welcomed lol. Also - I chose not to answer the prompt's 3rd question because I feel that the answer is implied/unnecessary... Thoughts?***

"Where are you from?" "Seven." "How old are you?" "Iraq." I was hunched down on the floor of a cramped, decrepit, two-room apartment in the housing projects, endeavoring to converse with two Arabic-speaking boys who had recently been granted political asylum in the United States. Their father, who arrived in the United States two years prior and gained proficiency in English shortly thereafter, looked on with a smile. One never would have guessed that he was forced by militants to abandon two thriving businesses in Iraq and was now struggling to provide for his family on a part-time, minimum wage income. "Ig-gayyaat ahsan min ir-rayhhaat," he declared. "What is coming is better than what is gone." [..]
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