Undergraduate / 'Mexican students' Why Upenn? Undergraduate admissions essay [3]

Instructions: The Admissions Committee would like to learn why you are a good fit for your undergraduate school choice (College of Arts and Sciences, School of Nursing, The Wharton School, or Penn Engineering). Please tell us about specific academic, service, and/or research opportunities at the University of Pennsylvania that resonate with your background, interests, and goals. (400-650 words)

A college with an excellent mathematics department in a thriving metropolis with endless research and job opportunities, and the option to take courses from other colleges, oh, and I forgot to mention need-blind for Mexican students! I think I'm in love... and her name is the College of Arts and Sciences (CAS). Well, I think I'll just call it admiration, it sounds a little less disturbing.

I have started considering computer science as a possible area of study that will complement a math major. This is why I'm pleasantly surprised to read CAS actually encourages a computer science minor since it may "not only be pedagogically sound, but also indicate a skill to a prospective employer". This reassures me that it is a good academic path to follow, especially since I want to be able to work in the telecommunications industry.

I also wish to develop my leadership skills and take part in community service projects, just as I have been doing in the student club I created in my high school on Mexico. Being able to help others who are in unfortunate situations is extremely fulfilling and it allows me to always stay in touch with reality about the situation of our society. The Civic House Associates Coalition is an opportunity for me to do just that. Working with others in a group is essential as it will teach me to maintain harmony in a group as well as to work efficiently, skills which are very important in any industry.

Internships are golden opportunities for college students since they show that a student has had real world job experience and one can even pick up new skills. I was even more determined to apply to the University of Pennsylvania's College of Arts and Sciences after I read that it sponsors twenty research internships in museums and book archives. I don't consider myself the best writer, although I'm very creative, but that is certainly a skill I want to hone. I just recently had an idea for a drama and I have started developing that idea on paper. I've just discovered that creative writing is extremely fun and I've adopted it as a hobby, although I have to admit that there's room for improvement regarding my eloquence. Working with books and films over the summer, I hope to work on my writing skills, and the $3,300 I will be paid at the en d of the internship are just the cherry on top! Getting paid to do something that I enjoy sounds amazing: just the thought of it is exhilarating. I guess this is how the cast of Jersey Shore felt when they were getting paid for researching the psychology and lifestyle of the Guido specimen!

The University of Pennsylvania, especially the opportunities they offer along with the College of Arts and Sciences, will help me exploit my full potential in order to not only pursue but achieve my academic and career goals.

This is only 493 words, do you guys think that I should add more stuff ( if so like what?) and get closer to the 650 word limit, or do you think this is ok the way it is?

Undergraduate / My history teacher - Princeton Suppl. "person who has influenced you in a significant way" [3]

Topic: "Tell us of a person who has influenced you in a significant way" Instructions: Write an essay of about 500 words in response. Please do not repeat, in full or in part, the essay you wrote for the common application.

Some background knowledge, I was in the U.S. for 10 years up to 10th grade, and I studied 11th and 12th grade, in Mexico.

Do you guys think this is a good essay and that it answers the topic? Also, the word limit is 500 but this is only 375 words, is this an issue?

During my ten year period in the U.S., Mexico was to me what girls are to grade school boys: disgusting and embarrassing. This shame and embarrassment I felt for my country were fueled by the stereotypically-negative image Americans have of it, stereotypes I unfortunately became to accept as the truth. Many of my prayers as a child were spent questioning God on why he couldn't have chosen the United States as my birthplace, a country I idolized above every other. Oh, how that has changed now. Thankfully, I met __Teacher's full name______, my history teacher in Mexico, in time to correct my erroneous and ignorant beliefs and sentiments about Mexico, in time to metaphorically open my eyes and decide on a future for myself which included this beautiful country.

__Teacher's first name_____, the definition of an amazing teacher, not only validated by the fact that he graduated from Mexico's best university, but most importantly by the extensive knowledge on politics, and passion for the country's history, that he exudes in the classroom. He passed this passion for this country on to me and, in me, awoke a critical and inquisitive interest for it. This newfound interest led me to constantly ponder its efficiencies and deficiencies consequently provoking in me a sense of discontent since the latter grossly outweighed the former. I discuss all the possible solutions to the nation's problems I formulate in my mind with ______Teacher's first name____, whether they're about the politically-powerful vandals we have for teachers in public schools or about the decrepit agricultural sector.

I've decided to incorporate the challenge of modernizing Mexico into my future, as opposed to my previous plans which only involved forging a successful life in the United States. The U.S. already has plenty of good leaders to guide it in the correct path, but I'm afraid the same doesn't hold true for Mexico. Thanks to the environment of critical thinking and discussions ___Teacher's first name___ provides, I have come to realize that Mexico needs great innovators and leaders who are not motivated by greed; this is exactly what I aspire to become. All boys grow up and go through puberty, a period of revelation and suddenly, girls, those disgusting creatures we once shunned, change to beautiful beings that we can't live without.

For the Yale Supplement essay which says something like: "Tell us about something you would want us to know about you that we might not learn from the rest of your application", Yale included a link in this essay, I clicked it and it took me to their page in which it says that some students have talked about "people who have influenced them", among other subjects, in this essay. Taking this into cosideration, do you think I can submit this essay to Yale as well? Also, would this work for the Harvard essay that says something like: "You may write on a topic of your choice"?

Thank you.