Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - Everyone should stay in school until age of eighteen. Agree or disagree? [3]

I am preparing for my IELTS test next week, my weakness is writing section because in the last test I only got 5.5 score. I need to gain more score. Please give me some corrections and comments.

Topic: Everyone should stay in school until age of eighteen. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

For these few years, government has implemented regulation concerning education. It is widely known that proper education should be started since ages seven then students can graduate from school at ages eighteen. Proper education is important preparing teenager before they pursue higher studies or being skilled worker.

First of all, education plays an important role for improving the quality of life, such as prepare for working career. Secondly, the requirement of skilled work is not only having basic education but higher studies are needed. However, education between ages sixteen and eighteen is crucial due to school provides moral and social education as teenagers have many temptation and unstable emotions. Moreover, teenagers can have benefit from school framework, which make them more responsible and able to help build a stronger society.

On the other hand, basic education cannot be applied for everyone as not everyone is having academic skills. There is another option for helping them with vocational training, which can provide practical training and skills so they are prepared for working. This training will help them to be mature more quickly and also they are free to make own life decisions. For instance, teenagers whose skills are with machine, they can focus studying machine practically, then after graduation they can choose to work or open their own business.

I agree that everyone should be encouraged to stay in school but it would be a mistake to make this compulsory as different people have different needs and abilities. Therefore, there are another possibilities of other forms of vocational training as another solution.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - Newspaper and books are outdated. What is your opinion? [6]

please give some corrections and comments what is my weakness in this essay.

Topic: Newspaper and books are outdated. Why do some people believe this? What is your opinion?

In the 21st century, we have witnessed a new form of technology, such as internet and television, they become more popular than traditional media which can be categorized as outdated. It is obvious that books and newspapers become less popular due to people think that it contains yesterday's news. Do you believe that modern media will replace traditional media?

As result of modern lifestyle, fewer people read books for pleasure. They prefer having instant access to the modern technology due to the limited time that they have in everyday life. For example, news can be read easily through internet that it is more updated and sufficient to modern lifestyle. Kindle or tablets have been introduced, as tools for reading so people feel lazy to turn pages of the books. In addition, more people enjoy watching 3D movie or playing a computer games without any effort.

However, books and newspaper will not completely go out of fashion. They are human needs for those who always want to read about news. Moreover, some people try to escape into imaginary world of great novels. There is another sensation when people read through real books and newspapers. I believe those people who do not have internet access in their place, will still need newspaper for getting information.

In my opinion, books and newspapers should change the concept of delivering information that meets 21st century costumer demands. Therefore, they can use modern technology, such as audio books that are created for changing proper books and internet sites that are used as various free newspaper.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - Facing Change vs Avoiding Change. Discuss and give opinion. [3]

Topic: Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Social environment where we live is changing daily, so that it is an important part of everyday life, as well as our circumstances and decisions we have to make. There are positive and negative aspects of change that is depending on our perceivable. Although some people feel happy with their routine life, others embrace change and decide to challenge the unpredictable world.

People who do not like stepping out their comfort zone, prefer following their daily habits. There are reasons that they feel routine gives more structure and also they are not confidence enough to have new challenges. Some people have certain routine activities and always do the same thing all the time. It is not easy for them to have uncertainty or unpredictable events. This fear may be identified as negative outcomes in their life.

On the other hand, people who like changes in their life may dislike monotonous life. This kind of people search for adventurous and explores new situations. Therefore, their life is more colorful and unpredictable as they have different point of view and optimistic life. They think changes as a good thing in their life. As we know that change has been associated with forward thinking, which means leaving traditional lifestyle for having a better way of life.

I believe that change is unavoidable and necessary for someone who wants to keep up with modern life. Even other people prefer maintaining their stability of life by following the routine. Finally, in my opinion change will help people to be more optimists in their life depending on their life situation.