citylights
Jan 10, 2014
Undergraduate / 'Grade 8, obstacle race, lineup!' ; Common App essay on failure [4]
Thank you so much for the useful advice! I'll work on it :)
Thank you so much for the useful advice! I'll work on it :)
citylights
Jan 9, 2014
Undergraduate / Georgia Tech and Purdue Supplement. [4]
Georgia Tech is my top choice to study CS because itis consistently tops rankings
Georgia Tech is my top choice to study CS because it is consistently tops rankings
Georgia Tech is my top choice to study CS because it
citylights
Jan 9, 2014
Undergraduate / 'Grade 8, obstacle race, lineup!' ; Common App essay on failure [4]
Hi.. I've already sent out this version of the essay to a couple of colleges before January 1st, 2014. But I still have a few deadlines left and it would be great help if this essay could be refined a bit more.
Prompt question: Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn? [650 words]
Run. Jump. Fall!
'Grade 8, obstacle race, lineup!' our PE teacher, Mrs. Gomes declared. The race accommodated three obstacles in total: a barrier to jump over, a rug to crawl under and a hula hoop to go through. My heart pounded faster as I advanced towards the starting line and took my starting position. With the shrill of a whistle began my race of shame. I ran as fast as I could, surpassing six racers within a few seconds. As I approached the barrier, my mind started thinking 'Jump now... jump now...'. I leapt, stumbled and plummeted face down on the track.
As I tasted the mud and gravel on my tongue, I felt a slight pang on my knee. Muffled guffaws in the background added to my chagrin. As the race continued, I staggered towards a nearby bench with a bleeding knee. I may have skinned my knee, but the blow to my pride was much worse. My mind became a battleground of my own thoughts and equations. I had watched this race take place from the stands over a dozen times before and it had always seemed so easy. Unable to figure where I had gone wrong, I returned home, defeated and humiliated.
That day, my mind was distraught and my soul tormented by awkward flashbacks. One might presume that I was quite an athlete since I had decided to participate in the race. But honestly, I was one of those folks who enjoyed cheering for others or volunteered to hold the finish line tape. Naturally, I blamed myself for even taking part in the race. Perhaps blinded by my own childish hubris then, I had failed to recognize my debility in athletics. My mother must have noticed a change in my behavior for she asked me if anything was wrong. I explained everything to her, and she listened patiently. After I finished, she began to speak.
''Failure happens to everyone. However, nobody is going to judge you on the fact that you failed, but rather on how you overcame that failure.''
After thinking about her simple remark for hours, gradually, it became clearer for me to see the bigger and better picture of life. I discovered that by transforming this failure into a lesson, I could emerge as a winner in life, if not in the race.
Next morning, I woke up with a refreshed mind and healed soul. I went to school with a nervous but much less embarrassed demeanor. Some of my classmates laughed at me, but I walked past them with my head held high. On the contrary, some of them asked me about my injury and they smiled amicably as I assured them I was fine. My self-confidence found its roots once again. By break time, I was socializing with all my friends normally. I was making jokes about my own great fall without feeling uncomfortable.
I had never had a significant failure in my life before, but this incident left its marks on me. Since then, I realized that whatever the consequence may be, sometimes it is necessary to take a leap of faith in the face of a challenge. It is also necessary to fall, to know where we actually stand. In fact, falling is a crucial part of learning. If we never fall, we will, indeed, never learn to stand back up.
Life does not give you success wrapped up ornately like Christmas presents. The course of life is rough and filled with hurdles, just like the course of an obstacle race. To reach the pinnacle of success, every individual must take risks in life. Like the author of the famous Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling says - "It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default."
Hi.. I've already sent out this version of the essay to a couple of colleges before January 1st, 2014. But I still have a few deadlines left and it would be great help if this essay could be refined a bit more.
Prompt question: Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn? [650 words]
Run. Jump. Fall!
'Grade 8, obstacle race, lineup!' our PE teacher, Mrs. Gomes declared. The race accommodated three obstacles in total: a barrier to jump over, a rug to crawl under and a hula hoop to go through. My heart pounded faster as I advanced towards the starting line and took my starting position. With the shrill of a whistle began my race of shame. I ran as fast as I could, surpassing six racers within a few seconds. As I approached the barrier, my mind started thinking 'Jump now... jump now...'. I leapt, stumbled and plummeted face down on the track.
As I tasted the mud and gravel on my tongue, I felt a slight pang on my knee. Muffled guffaws in the background added to my chagrin. As the race continued, I staggered towards a nearby bench with a bleeding knee. I may have skinned my knee, but the blow to my pride was much worse. My mind became a battleground of my own thoughts and equations. I had watched this race take place from the stands over a dozen times before and it had always seemed so easy. Unable to figure where I had gone wrong, I returned home, defeated and humiliated.
That day, my mind was distraught and my soul tormented by awkward flashbacks. One might presume that I was quite an athlete since I had decided to participate in the race. But honestly, I was one of those folks who enjoyed cheering for others or volunteered to hold the finish line tape. Naturally, I blamed myself for even taking part in the race. Perhaps blinded by my own childish hubris then, I had failed to recognize my debility in athletics. My mother must have noticed a change in my behavior for she asked me if anything was wrong. I explained everything to her, and she listened patiently. After I finished, she began to speak.
''Failure happens to everyone. However, nobody is going to judge you on the fact that you failed, but rather on how you overcame that failure.''
After thinking about her simple remark for hours, gradually, it became clearer for me to see the bigger and better picture of life. I discovered that by transforming this failure into a lesson, I could emerge as a winner in life, if not in the race.
Next morning, I woke up with a refreshed mind and healed soul. I went to school with a nervous but much less embarrassed demeanor. Some of my classmates laughed at me, but I walked past them with my head held high. On the contrary, some of them asked me about my injury and they smiled amicably as I assured them I was fine. My self-confidence found its roots once again. By break time, I was socializing with all my friends normally. I was making jokes about my own great fall without feeling uncomfortable.
I had never had a significant failure in my life before, but this incident left its marks on me. Since then, I realized that whatever the consequence may be, sometimes it is necessary to take a leap of faith in the face of a challenge. It is also necessary to fall, to know where we actually stand. In fact, falling is a crucial part of learning. If we never fall, we will, indeed, never learn to stand back up.
Life does not give you success wrapped up ornately like Christmas presents. The course of life is rough and filled with hurdles, just like the course of an obstacle race. To reach the pinnacle of success, every individual must take risks in life. Like the author of the famous Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling says - "It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default."
citylights
Jan 9, 2014
Undergraduate / Georgia Tech and Purdue Supplement. [4]
I want to lead a successful organization working for the betterment of the society.
I want lead a successful organization working for the betterment of the society.
I want to lead a successful organization working for the betterment of the society.
citylights
Jan 9, 2014
Undergraduate / Bryn Mawr Supplement - "I don't want to go to college." [6]
9muses
Hey. Could you please tell me what is the word limits for both the Bryn Mawr supplements?
9muses
Hey. Could you please tell me what is the word limits for both the Bryn Mawr supplements?
citylights
Jan 4, 2014
Undergraduate / 'One In A Million' Northwestern Supplement : unique qualities of Northwestern...? [2]
Can somebody please let me know how my essay sounds? It would be great help! :)
Northwestern Statement: What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified? (250 words)
One In A Million
Despite the fact that Northwestern University has a low acceptance rate of only 13.9%, why did I choose to apply? Perhaps as an applicant, I am not one in a million, but as a college, Northwestern University unquestionably is. Beginning from the breathtaking Evanston campus on the shores of Lake Michigan, to the top-notch academics, Northwestern is an absolute stunner.
As an undergraduate international student seeking to major in Computer Science, the most ideal place for me to study in is the McCormick School of Engineering and Applied Science. I eagerly look forward to taking advantage of the endless opportunities offered by the variety of labs at McCormick.
Throughout my high-school career, I was deeply involved with serving the community and promoting environmental sustainability. Apart from having an evergreen campus, Northwestern is also one of the top 10 universities purchasing energy from renewable sources. Furthermore, it has a specific recycling program. Participating in this program will help me to serve both mother nature, as well as the campus and my future acquaintances.
Speaking of whom, Northwestern University's undergraduate program has a perfect conglomeration of students from numerous ethnicity. Socializing with my fellow classmates will allow me to strengthen my interactive and team building skills.
On the whole, Northwestern University provides an incredible platform for education, diversely cultured campus life, athletics, as well as excellent faculty and alumni. Indeed, these unique qualities make Northwestern University one in a million and it would be an honor for me to be a part of and to serve to enhance the Northwestern pride.
Can somebody please let me know how my essay sounds? It would be great help! :)
Northwestern Statement: What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified? (250 words)
One In A Million
Despite the fact that Northwestern University has a low acceptance rate of only 13.9%, why did I choose to apply? Perhaps as an applicant, I am not one in a million, but as a college, Northwestern University unquestionably is. Beginning from the breathtaking Evanston campus on the shores of Lake Michigan, to the top-notch academics, Northwestern is an absolute stunner.
As an undergraduate international student seeking to major in Computer Science, the most ideal place for me to study in is the McCormick School of Engineering and Applied Science. I eagerly look forward to taking advantage of the endless opportunities offered by the variety of labs at McCormick.
Throughout my high-school career, I was deeply involved with serving the community and promoting environmental sustainability. Apart from having an evergreen campus, Northwestern is also one of the top 10 universities purchasing energy from renewable sources. Furthermore, it has a specific recycling program. Participating in this program will help me to serve both mother nature, as well as the campus and my future acquaintances.
Speaking of whom, Northwestern University's undergraduate program has a perfect conglomeration of students from numerous ethnicity. Socializing with my fellow classmates will allow me to strengthen my interactive and team building skills.
On the whole, Northwestern University provides an incredible platform for education, diversely cultured campus life, athletics, as well as excellent faculty and alumni. Indeed, these unique qualities make Northwestern University one in a million and it would be an honor for me to be a part of and to serve to enhance the Northwestern pride.
