kh28698
Jan 1, 2014
Undergraduate / God loves me unconditionally - Stanford - What matters to you and why? [5]
Alright, thank you for the suggestions.
Alright, thank you for the suggestions.
kh28698
Jan 1, 2014
Undergraduate / Sessions with my Arab friends - Stanford roommate essay [6]
Alright! Thanks for all of the comments.
Alright! Thanks for all of the comments.
kh28698
Dec 31, 2013
Undergraduate / Sessions with my Arab friends - Stanford roommate essay [6]
I wrote this, but I'm not completely liking it. Suggestions for improvement would be appreciated!
Dear future roommate,
In order to prepare you for our journey, I would like to describe my oddities, which you will witness on a daily basis.
I can never wake up in the morning unless the alarm is at its loudest setting and playing my favorite song. My brain somehow shuts out every other noise. During finals week, you will see me randomly break out into intense dance moves. Don't get freaked out- it's just my way of coping with stress.
Because I grew up in another culture with many international friends you will find that my actions and words reflect my eclectic and jumbled identity. I'll be immersed in a Korean soap opera one day and ditch it for an American reality TV show the next.
If I invade your personal space, please tell me. My countless snuggle sessions with my Arab friends have often made me forget the concept of a "personal bubble." Also, I get my special Moroccan intonation from my friends as well. When I'm hyper or engrossed in a heated debate, my voice pitch will abruptly rise at the end of each phrase I say.
Please don't be alarmed. I'm not weird, just different, which means you don't have to worry about being yourself with me. I have enjoyed meeting people from so many different places, and I can't wait to meet more of them at Stanford. Whoever you are, I can't wait to meet you too!
Here's to the great memories we'll share together,
Hannah
I wrote this, but I'm not completely liking it. Suggestions for improvement would be appreciated!
Dear future roommate,
In order to prepare you for our journey, I would like to describe my oddities, which you will witness on a daily basis.
I can never wake up in the morning unless the alarm is at its loudest setting and playing my favorite song. My brain somehow shuts out every other noise. During finals week, you will see me randomly break out into intense dance moves. Don't get freaked out- it's just my way of coping with stress.
Because I grew up in another culture with many international friends you will find that my actions and words reflect my eclectic and jumbled identity. I'll be immersed in a Korean soap opera one day and ditch it for an American reality TV show the next.
If I invade your personal space, please tell me. My countless snuggle sessions with my Arab friends have often made me forget the concept of a "personal bubble." Also, I get my special Moroccan intonation from my friends as well. When I'm hyper or engrossed in a heated debate, my voice pitch will abruptly rise at the end of each phrase I say.
Please don't be alarmed. I'm not weird, just different, which means you don't have to worry about being yourself with me. I have enjoyed meeting people from so many different places, and I can't wait to meet more of them at Stanford. Whoever you are, I can't wait to meet you too!
Here's to the great memories we'll share together,
Hannah
kh28698
Dec 31, 2013
Undergraduate / Equarithmophobia - UVA Quirk Essay [3]
I like your topic, its interesting. But I think you should spend more time on "why it is a part of who you are." Sure, you hate even numbers, but is there a reason behind it? (maybe an event that occurred in your life?)
Overall though, I like how you described the phobia's presence in your life. Nice job!
I like your topic, its interesting. But I think you should spend more time on "why it is a part of who you are." Sure, you hate even numbers, but is there a reason behind it? (maybe an event that occurred in your life?)
Overall though, I like how you described the phobia's presence in your life. Nice job!
kh28698
Dec 31, 2013
Undergraduate / Bates College : Supplementary Essay - "How this Statement inspires you." [7]
The overall idea is good, but i feel like this essay could be written for any other college. I think you should make the essay more specific to Bates.
Just my thoughts! :)
The overall idea is good, but i feel like this essay could be written for any other college. I think you should make the essay more specific to Bates.
Just my thoughts! :)
kh28698
Dec 30, 2013
Undergraduate / God loves me unconditionally - Stanford - What matters to you and why? [5]
What matters to you and why?
Beads of sweat form on the sides of my face. I clench my fists to calm my shaky fingers. My eyes wander from side to side, avoiding the puzzled gaze of the stranger I have just met.
In my junior year of high school, my self-consciousness spiraled out of control until it began to cripple my interactions with other people. The idea that every gesture I made negatively impacted the way people viewed me dictated my actions and words and in turn, destroyed my self-expression and overwhelmed me with immense mental stress.
I would spend hours and hours in my room, contemplating the reasons behind my turmoil. I was convinced it was the result of my insecurities, and thought everything would be solved if I heightened my self-esteem. Yet, waking up in the morning and telling my reflection in the mirror to be confident was just a self-conscious act on its own, motivated by my concern with other people's opinions of me.
The only thing that slowly pulled me out of my struggles was one realization. The realization that all that mattered was God. I was so busy looking around that I forgot look up and focus on what actually mattered. The belief that God loved me unconditionally filled my heart with a sense of peace by allowing my self-conscious heart to finally rest. In a world where people are judged-intentionally or subconsciously-based on their race, appearance, or resume, one can never find self contentment by depending on humans. Peace arrives once one solely relies on the opinions of God.
What matters to you and why?
Beads of sweat form on the sides of my face. I clench my fists to calm my shaky fingers. My eyes wander from side to side, avoiding the puzzled gaze of the stranger I have just met.
In my junior year of high school, my self-consciousness spiraled out of control until it began to cripple my interactions with other people. The idea that every gesture I made negatively impacted the way people viewed me dictated my actions and words and in turn, destroyed my self-expression and overwhelmed me with immense mental stress.
I would spend hours and hours in my room, contemplating the reasons behind my turmoil. I was convinced it was the result of my insecurities, and thought everything would be solved if I heightened my self-esteem. Yet, waking up in the morning and telling my reflection in the mirror to be confident was just a self-conscious act on its own, motivated by my concern with other people's opinions of me.
The only thing that slowly pulled me out of my struggles was one realization. The realization that all that mattered was God. I was so busy looking around that I forgot look up and focus on what actually mattered. The belief that God loved me unconditionally filled my heart with a sense of peace by allowing my self-conscious heart to finally rest. In a world where people are judged-intentionally or subconsciously-based on their race, appearance, or resume, one can never find self contentment by depending on humans. Peace arrives once one solely relies on the opinions of God.
