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Posts by Shugz20
Name: Shughla ghafoor
Joined: Jan 2, 2014
Last Post: Jan 13, 2014
Threads: 3
Posts: 4  
From: Usa
School: New milford high school

Displayed posts: 7
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Shugz20   
Jan 13, 2014
Undergraduate / I didn't know which way I should proceed with my education; Transfer Essay [2]

When I saw how my classmates crossed the graduation stage, it felt like I was nearly the only one who didn't know which way to proceed with my education. Friends had already made plans and went off to four year universities to pursue their dreams. I felt lost and hopeless because I didn't know what I wanted to pursue. Also, I would hope one day to follow the same steps as some of my friends and know what I want to pursue.

Enrolling at a two year Community College gave me the opportunity to shift through different areas of study, and take as many courses that I needed to find my interest. But, even with the courses given that are helpful for me to find an interest; I am also looking forward to having a helpful community. I believe that if I am part of a big community, then it can help create groups and in those groups many things can be shared such as our knowledge and our perspectives on other careers. Being in a group and hearing people out can help me with my decision of a career. Having a big community is very essential to education and I believe that the University of Connecticut will help provide me with the helping community.

Earlier during the summer I had started volunteering in a Rehabilitation Center which had grabbed my interest and made me realize that I want to continue something like this in school. Finally, I realized that I want to participate in health clubs more and resume in the same environment that I was during my volunteer hours. The interest that I have in the health clubs can help me move closer to my career. Moreover, I had realized that a class will not only help me find an interest, but I need to be part of an activity club, do hands on work, and actually see how the environment feels for me to be interested. I want to attend a school where I can be active, be part of a group, and show leadership in a group where I think I will accomplish a lot.

Furthermore, the University of Connecticut has a special memory loss group that I am looking forward to being part of. This group is called the Alzheimer's club. The club has involvement in walkathons, personal interactions with patients who are affected, and holds events to help raise money. Club members also get involved by asking questions, sharing their own experiences, and an opportunity to help develop friendship with the peers who are affected. I want to join this group because I want to experience how others manage through pain, how I can provide help to these patients, and how it can help me choose the career I want to pursue in the future.

I love the fact that the University of Connecticut has many health clubs. I want to take full advantage of University of Connecticut because I believe that it will help me find my goal of success with the help of the community and the health clubs that are available. Moreover, it will help me believe that the University of Connecticut will definitely help me succeed in a profession that will hold my interest throughout my professional life.
Shugz20   
Jan 13, 2014
Undergraduate / Comics; UIUC - interest or experience [6]

I think you should organize your essay in paragraphs, have a thesis statement too! Although, your details are very good, but make sure you include more and make it an essay instead of just a paragraph or two.
Shugz20   
Jan 13, 2014
Undergraduate / Georgia Tech and Purdue Supplement. [4]

Hi Rohan! I think you should spell out your abbreviations everytime during an essay. Also, provide more details in the essay. Organize your essay in paragraphs, but good job anyway!
Shugz20   
Jan 3, 2014
Undergraduate / When I am challenged more, then I can work harder; TRANSFER [2]

When transferring to a four year University, I will have an opportunity to be challenged more with the courses that I take. When I am challenged more, then I can work harder, and working hard can lead me to get a degree. When I have my degree, then the degree can pursue me to a good career. A kind of a career where I can help others in need; whether it is through health or education. Furthermore, my experience at Naugatuck Valley Community College was a struggle for me because I barely found any students who were committed to education like me. I think that if you find a friend who is committed to education just like you, then that friend can make a very good study group. Having good study groups is very essential because we can work as teams to help better understand a certain subject with a limited amount of time. When having many students from groups contribute to certain questions; it helps a lot because you have more than one student thinking at a time. I think that if I were to transfer to such a big community like the University of Connecticut, I will be bound to meeting a helping community. Ever since I've been volunteering at a Children School, the entire staff always worked as a team. When we went through hardships, it was always easier to solve a dilemma with a team. With this experience that I have gained from my volunteer work, I take the same mentality to school. In school, I like working as a team, helping others through situations, and working in groups to solve a problem that I may not be able to solve myself. Not only will I be challenged with the courses that can further my education, or find a helping community, but I will also be open to many options of joining activity clubs that the University of Connecticut opens to students. Naugatuck Valley Community College does meet the requirements of having many clubs for students to join. But, they don't have many health clubs as I am interested in. To be specific, University of Connecticut has a special memory loss group that I am looking forward to being part of. This group is called the Alzheimer's club. The club has involvement in walkathons, personal interaction with patients who are affected, and holding mini events to raise money. Club members also get involved by asking questions, sharing their own experiences, and an opportunity to develop friendship with the peers who are affected. I want to join this group because I personally had a distant family member who went through Alzheimer's disease. I know how important it is for the peers who are affected by it to have someone supporting them emotionally and physically. It is my dream to help others relieve their pain, and stress because I have experienced it myself through a distant family member. The University Connecticut has plentiful amount of health clubs. Health clubs such as, the auditory club, active minds club, Allied health sciences club, American heart Association, Autism speaks Club, and the Collegiate health services Corps club. Not only would I want to join the Alzheimer's club, but many other health clubs that are open to student in the University of Connecticut. I want to take full advantage of these clubs by gaining knowledge from peers and helping the peers. These are some of the main factors why I would want extend my education at the University of Connecticut.
Shugz20   
Jan 3, 2014
Scholarship / 'I am the first of my family...' Academic/career goals. Scholarship essay 400-600 words [3]

You make some good points in your essay. It would be nice if you use some transitions in the essay. I think you should add more goals, and not focus too much on how others need to focus on their heritage. One's own identity is very precious to them, but since your question asks you about your long-term and short-term academic goals then focus on that. You've mentioned good facts, but add more if you can. Overall, good essay!
Shugz20   
Jan 3, 2014
Research Papers / REALITY TV AND ITS EFFECTS ON SOCIETY - Research Paper [4]

You mentioned some good facts in your essay. But, make sure you use more transitions so it is easier for the reader to follow your essay. Good job on the works cited and essay is good, just add transitions.
Shugz20   
Jan 3, 2014
Undergraduate / Why would I want to transfer from a two year Community College to a four year University? [3]

The reason why I want to transfer to a four year University from a two year community college is because I believe that there will be many good opportunities for me to accomplish. For example, I think that if I go to a four year University, I will be more challenged. The reason why I say challenged is because a University has more challenged courses than a community college does. The ability of being challenged can get me to work harder and when I work harder, it gets me motivated to accomplish more success. I want to succeed because with success I can earn a degree, and that degree can give me an advantage to help others which is my dream. Furthermore, when I transfer to a four year college I will be surrounded with a more populated, and educated community. When going to a four year university, the community can also be part of my help by making study groups and helping one another with our courses. In Naugatuck Community College that I am currently attending has many groups, but not as many health groups that I am interested in. I am mostly interested in a memory loss group that the University of Connecticut has, and it is the Alzheimer's club. This club has meetings where members do walkathons, and raise money for the disease. The group also gets involved with peers who are personally affected by the disease. Club members ask questions and share their personal experiences and an opportunity to develop friendships with peers who are affected. I really want to be involved in a club like this because it will give me a chance to learn more about others and get educated with any health issues that they have and in what ways I can help them. Helping those who are sick brings ease to my heart. UConn not only has an Alzheimer's club, but many other health clubs that I am interested in. There are very specific clubs, for example, the auditory club, active minds, Allied health sciences club, American heart association; Autism speaks club, Collegiate Health Service Corps, and many more health clubs that I am interested in. The reason why I want to start out with the Alzheimer's club is because I've had a close family member who've experienced this disease and I know how many others in the country go through the trouble of struggling with it. I want to be that person to help relieve the pain of others through my help of raising money, conversing with the peers, and doing walkathons. Furthermore, I think that if I go to a four year college, I can be provided with abundant of advanced facilities. The facilities include nice libraries, health labs, and quiet study lounges. These are some of the main factors why I want to transfer to a four year University.
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