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Posts by Nastasi
Name: Anastassia Onufriv
Joined: Jan 5, 2014
Last Post: Feb 10, 2015
Threads: 3
Posts: 9  
From: Ukraine

Displayed posts: 12
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Nastasi   
Feb 9, 2015
Graduate / Fashion is a way to self express. We can read a person from how he dresses up [3]

Are there ay questions you need to answer in the SOP? Any guidelines What does it say?

I am always interested in Fashion because fashion

besides don't make "fashion" with Capital letter
"We do not have enough resource or time to know a person exactly and directly but we can read a person from how they dress up at first sight. In other words, " No need in this sentence

Therefore, I have been fascinated with how role wear in different and diversified movies with different cultures. this one as well

There are more grammatical mistakes. I'd suggest revewing and correcting it. And check the relevance - whether you've answered the questions they ask. Correct it and I'll look again
Nastasi   
Feb 9, 2015
Graduate / The role of a chemical engineer, particularly in Nigeria, cannot be over emphasized. [2]

It's very good statement.
Although for it to be perfect I'd change few things.
I'd delete these sentences.

Chemical engineers design, operate and supervise industrial processes where materials undergo change. From a simple molecular reaction to the economical design of a chemical reactor, catalysts and kinetics are essential.

Admission people I guess know what is the process about.
Besides, I'd break next sentence in few parts because they are difficult to understand. Make simplesentences so that even a person that doesn't knw any chemistry can understand your goal "This is why I intend to join the graduate program in Chemical Engineering with specialization in Catalysis and Reaction Engineering. I want to help find novel ways of designing new or modifying existing catalysts to enable synthesis of new products, increasing yield and selectivity of desired products and developing novel processes that are less polluting with reduced energy consumption."

"accumulating adequate research experience " I'd delete this piece especially adequate it's as if your reearch experience before was inadequate. Even if it was don't say about it here.

"I believe that the wide array of skill-set and experience honed during my undergraduate days make me an ideal candidate for this program. My personal achievements and soft skills are evidenced in my involvement in a variety of extracurricular activities as well as holding positions of responsibilities which enhanced my communication, leadership and interpersonal skills."

"I was elected as a departmental representative at the Students' Union of my university, and I am presently a member of the Road Safety Community Development Service group, where we sensitize road users on the importance of safety on our highways. Additionally, I have gained some valuable work experience ranging from being a class teacher to being a laboratory scientist. I have also worked as an Intern with the Fluid Catalytic Cracking Unit (FCCU) of the Warri Refining and Petrochemical Company Limited Warri, Delta State, Nigeria." Change places and break into paragraphs

It would be a privilege for me to pursue graduate studies at xxx university. I am confident about matching the high standards set by your university and making a positive contribution to the xxx university community. Than there's no need in this sentence

Good luck!;)
Nastasi   
Nov 30, 2014
Undergraduate / 'open mind and the willingness to think creatively' - CIVIL ENGINEERING UC PERSONAL STATEMENT [3]

Their work plays a major role on the quality of life for communities and individuals for generations to come.

replace with "in" & "of"
"This is what HAS inspired me to want to become a civil engineer" you don't really don't really specify what exactly has inspired. the previous statement says more about the importnace of the profession

"interest was prompted" I'm not sure whether interest can be prompted "when I was able to witnessED two of the tallest buildings in the world" maybe sth like "saw with my own eyes"? usually you can witness some action. The buildings were, at least one of them was. I think it's better if you mention it. and start this sentence with a new paragraph

"and working with a team to solve innovative problems that" you don't have say about the team
"However..." new paragraph
"During my time interning " it's better to say "internship"
"opportunity to shadow a civil engineer" what do you meam by this?
"worked ON solvING"
" the willingness to think creatively." it's better to say just "creative thinking" you can want or not want to think creatively it's a skill, ability and you eaither have it developed or not

" From my experiences academically and through my internship" "academic experience and at the internship"
Overall impression is good. Only that you have to tell more what you did at the internship
Nastasi   
Nov 30, 2014
Scholarship / 'I can see her eagerness to learn new things' - Employer writing Chevening reference [NEW]

Chevening reference

Hello! My employer asked me to write the refference myself because he doesn't know English and doesn't have time to write it. So here's what I wrote.

Hello dear Chevening team!

I am writing to you to provide the reference to Anastasiia Onufriv as a potential Chevening scholar.
My name is Roman Kladko. I am Anastasiia's employer at Children and Youth Clubs of Frankivsky district of Lviv city. We meet at least once a week at the regular staff meetings. And when we make or participate at mass evets for children, we meet more often. I have known her for about one year and three months. Thus, I had a great chance to learn about her personality and her abilities as a worker and watch her professional growth.

First thing that I have noticed about Anastasiia was her enthusiasm with wich she takes up an idea and her ability to think out of the box. This is what made her distinguishing from most of the workers. It happens sometimes that when brainstorming a new project plan people feel lack of ideas. Here Anastasiia usually comes up with a fresh and very creative ideas.

Anastasiia can usually find a way out of difficult and unexpected situations. Such situations happen often when working with children. Once I observed Anastasiia resolving a conflict between her children. She did this in a way that the boys really felt ashamed of their behaviour and realized they were wrong. In general kids like her a lot. Anastasiia has biult a kind of relationship with them that she is their older friend whom they listen to and respect. This way Anastasiia has a great positive impact on them and she is an opinion and worldview former of the children.

With her communicative skills and a network of acquinteces and friends Anastasiia easily finds sponsorship or information support and other needed people. This is her usual task when we make mass events apart from presenting her club's project like a performance of the kids she looks for the people we need to organize the event.

I am sure that she will be able to complete the studies in the UK successfully as long as I can see her eagerness to learn new things. She often attends seminars and lectures in her personal and professional growth at her free time. and applies the knowledge gained right away after the seminars. Moreover, she always shares the knew knowledge with her collegues. Her will for self improvement, gaining new experience and reaching her own goals emphasizes that Anastassia has a strong motivation to study and to learn.

Of course Anastasiia's leaving would be a pity for our organisation but I believe she is an ideal candidate for your program because apart from her personal qualities and skills I can clearly see that she is ambitious enough to make changes for better in the life of our city community and the country as a whole. The knowledge and experience received while studying in th UK she would implement when working on these changes.

My friend says it's a bit illogical besides looks like my style of writing.
Nastasi   
Nov 13, 2014
Scholarship / All my life decisions so far only go in one direction. (4 Question essays on Biotechnology) [4]

Q.2 VNU - in the brackets explain the meaning of abbreviation they wouldn't want to waste time guessing what VNU stands for

all together - you have apellingand gramatical mistakes ans most of them could be chacked in google. I can see you're using the expresions typical for your language, native speakers use different pronouns and also you confuse plural & singular "everyone" IS singular. Sorry I don't have more time to comment more now cuz I have to finish my own answers for Chevening. Btw I'd be grateful if you could comment on mine as well. Mistakes have already been corrected by other people so I need to know about the content
Nastasi   
Nov 13, 2014
Scholarship / All my life decisions so far only go in one direction. (4 Question essays on Biotechnology) [4]

Q.1 It is the definition of who we are that drives us into our way in life. don't quite get it. what is "it", what does it stand for?

I have always wanted to become a scientist, and I believe I was meant to be one. this 1 is really good.
"Even though ... still" - what do you contradict? - "landed" sounds like you literally landed from UFO. better change it to some other verb pupil -- students (pupils are in primary school and kindergarten) in physic -- PhysicS (capital P and plural s) and spend -- spenT (irregular past tense)

continued growngrowing my curiosity in the science. of lifeHaving g raduated from high
pursuit [it's a noun] pursue [that's a verb] my own
Those researches gave me an opportunity to work with great minds of the world under international level. Not the researches give opportunities but people, institutions, jobs [pick 1 that applies] better say sth like "to work with the international standarts under the supervision of world's greatest minds"

" in critical" expand this one - give some examples of how exactly you've gained these skills.
State why your country needs biotechnology and how your researches are important for the country not just for you
I guess this way you'd exceed the word limit but you could cut the 1st paragraph, make it 1 sentence
Nastasi   
Nov 10, 2014
Scholarship / Am I cool enough? Chevening personal statement (motivation) [3]

Hello everyone! There 4 qeustions of personal statement type in the application form for Chevening scholarship. By the way it's really cool one. The deadline is in few days - 15.11. So I'd be greatful if someone could say your opnion on everything written above. Few things to mention: Education is not a recomended field of study for Ukraine and the stakes are really high. So be sceptical but better if you don't propose me to change everythinh

Q.2 Your academic background:Describe your educational achievements to date. You should explain why you feel confident in your ability to successfully complete your proposed courses of study in the UK, and specify why your courses were chosen.

Studying in the Pedagogical college I was very interested in Social Sciences like Psychology, Pedagogy and Economics. In particular I was captivated by the ideas of freedom in the theories of M. Montessory and A. Neil. I have conducted a research about Montessori's materials for primary school children. Concerning Economics, a business plan I made in the end of the course was recognised as one of the best in the class.

[...]

Q.4 Your career plan and benefit to your home country: Describe your immediate plans upon completion of your Chevening award. You should explain your longer-term (5-10 year) career objectives and describe how your time in the UK will help you achieve these. You should also discuss how a Chevening award would benefit you and your home country.

Depending on what I will study education or marketing, my project number one to develop will be either In Lime club or creating the school.

I have a clear vision on developing In Lime. First of all I want to make it a recognised brand in my city and to find a place for a long term renting. Secondly, I will find people to conduct meetings in other languages. And thirdly, I will make it a national franchise "In Lime - Language & Hang out Clubs". This is what I will do in the nearest 3-4 years.

[...]
Nastasi   
Nov 10, 2014
Undergraduate / KOD: Knowledge on Display - Kalamazoo Supplemental Essay [7]

tasked with better to say "given the task to"
class "course" maybe better?
presentation, we "presentation. We were" - make 2 sentences
and and delete 1 "and"
we got hands on "had"
My topic: The Black Plague Delete ":" and put " "
(c. 1300's) - what is it?
opportunity I've "Opportunity. I have"
Besides you are breaking the rule number 1 of business letters - no short forms.
I general I like your essay. It is interesting to read especially about your research project
Nastasi   
Nov 7, 2014
Scholarship / Chevening Scholarships: 4 questions essay. Personal statement and Academic Background [8]

"discuss your commitment to networking within the Chevening community, and beyond, in order to find solutions or bring about beneficial change" You didn't really answer this part of the question. BTW I'm applying for Chevening as well. But I can't seem to find motivation to collect my thoughts together to answer these few questions. And it's so depressing!((
Nastasi   
Jan 5, 2014
Scholarship / I was inspired by the "Summerhill School"; Motivational statement for Erasmus Mundus [NEW]

Hello everybody! I am applying for Erasmus Mundus scholarship Masters course in Education Technologies. For this I need to answer some questions in the application form. I'd very thankful if you could proofread them and say what are my chances to get it with these answers. The deadline[/b] is on January 6th 2014[/b]

Motivation/ Personal statement
What are your learning goals and objectives?

I was inspired by the "Summerhill School" of A. Neil and the life of Maria Montessori when doing my research in Pedagogics and later on by Sir Ken Robinson speeches and the way how schools work in Singapore. For this reason I am now working as a teacher of English and a pedagogue in the Youth Club turning my views on education into ideas and trying them out in my work but I can clearly see that I lack the knowledge that I can get observing the studying process of the teachers who work with the techniques of experimental pedagogics. I feel like I am trying to invent a bicycle after only seeing the picture of it once.

I want to learn more about the ICT in education. I have read articles on this topic including the UNESCO guide but I did not have a chance to see applied as long as in Eastern Europe they are just starting using elements of it in few public schools and some private ones.This program can give me a unique opportunity to see how education system and different work in different countries and make a research under supervision of professionals. When teaching I am trying to make my lessons interesting to my students and relevant to their needs although I can clearly see that I lack knowledge and experience.

What is your career plan? (what field would you like to work in? What company (or institution) would you like to work for? What position would you be looking for?)

My life dream is to create a modern school corresponding all the requirements for teaching contemporary children of XXI century that my architect friend has projected as a student. In the future, after coming back with clearer vision of my school having international experience and more knowledge I want to work in the places where they tell how the education has to work in the country or in my city. These are Ministry of Education or local Department of Education. I realise that I will not be able to get this job right the moment I come back home so untill get it I plan to continue working as an ordinary teacher of English and probably come back to work in the NGO where I'm doing internship now or do internship in private schools with author's techniques of teaching like Waldorf and Montessori.

Another thing I know for sure I am going to do on coming back is sharing my knowledge and experience with people holding lectures and seminars for beginning teachers, education students as well as to all other interested in education looking for likeminded people.

What topic have you chosen for your thesis/dissertation? Your answer will enable moderators to assess your degree of conceptualisation)
What is your research question? (major focus, line of argument)

I want to compare average public schools and author techniques schools in order to find out whether the author techniques schools really give the necessary life skills for the XXI century` to the schoolchildren and to what extent. So far it seems to me that mostly public schools do not provide the children with necessary knowledge and skills for living in the digital era

What is the theoretical framework for your research?
I hope to shed light on the following questions through my research:
1) what are the skills and knowledge needed to live in the XXI century?
2) do the average public schools provide these skills and knowledge ? What kind of schools? To what extent do they provide them?
a) what kind of methods and tools are used?
b) what is needed to for the public schools to succeed in providing the children with necessary XXI century skills?
3) Do the author techniques' schools provide these skills and knowledge? What kind of schools? To what extent do they provide them?
a) what kind of methods and tools are used?
b) what is needed to for the author techniques' schools to succeed in providing the children with necessary XXI century skills?

Whatresearch methodology are you planning to use?
My research requires field study in order to collect necessary data, analyze the material and to compare the studying and learning processes in the schools. I plan to use descriptive and action research for the reason that I want to observe and examine the studying process in the schools. Multiple interviews are planned with schoolchildren, their teachers and parents as well as school graduates, their professors and employers in order to provide more in-depth data collection and opportunities for follow-up. The goal is to interview approximately 20 people connected to 3 schools in different localities.

This project will utilize both quantitative and qualitative data collection tools, but is rooted in a qualitative epistemological position that recognizes the importance of locating the research within a particular social, cultural, and historical context. It also takes seriously the social construction of these contexts and the identities participants construct within them.

A qualitative evaluation shall be utilized for this research project leveraging subjective methods such as interviews and observations to collect substantive and relevant data.
I will work with faculty at the local Research Centers to identify potential participants. I will also ask teachers to respond to a series of journal prompts over the course of the project that allow them to provide a more detailed and longitudinal view of their daily lives as teachers-their experiences, reactions, beliefs, and ideas about their roles and responsibilities as educators.

This is the unique opportunity for me to implement by intercultural education expertise within foreign country and assist the recognized universities in developing a ground-breaking and vital research project.
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