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Posts by Senildang
Name: Buu Dang
Joined: Jan 6, 2014
Last Post: Jan 12, 2014
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  
Likes: 1
From: Viet Nam
School: Open university

Displayed posts: 7
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Senildang   
Jan 12, 2014
Scholarship / The world is in our hands now and the future will depend on our action [4]

Shpresa
Do you mean this sententence "Do you believe that the future will change in a big way?" ? If it does, that is not a part of the question.

Thanks for your comment. I will consider to change it. And Do you think my introduction being good?
Senildang   
Jan 11, 2014
Scholarship / The world is in our hands now and the future will depend on our action [4]

Question: Imagine what the world will be like 50 years from now. Describe how you wish to contribute to the future society with your talent, knowledge, and experience acquired throughout your studies and beyond.

Do you believe that the future will change in a big way? The future can be anything you choose for it to be. However, if we consider the recent negative environmental and social trends in the world today it can hardly be optimistic about the future, at least in the next 50 years.

It could be argued that the advancement of technology will be the solution to all human's problems. In fact, humans have made many breakthroughs over the past hundred years, espeasially in medicine and space exploration. Scientists are now able to cure or prevent some incurable diseases that affected millions of people. For example, HIV infection can be controled by using of multiple antiretroviral drugs. Besides that, NASA's satellite found evidence about water in the Moon as well as water flow patterns in Mars. Therefore, it is reasonable to believe about a bright future with modern technology as a master key.

Yet, I belive that what is in store for us in the future would be the decline of moral standards and extreme climate change. To begin with, moral values are declining at a very fast pace. As a result of market economy, "family" in modern society lost its primary meaning when people give low weight to traditional and humanality values. Human minds are occupied by deceit, corruption, distress, hatred and so on. Not only strangers, but competition and selfishness have also increased even between siblings, friends and relatives. Obviously, consequences are widespread of single families, increase in divorces, neglected elders, the spoilt generation. The 21st century began with violence, mass killings, terrorism and fundamentalism. While the visibility of globalization and transition to a global society is apparent, challenges that the future generations will have to face with have increased manifold. The gap between developing and developed countries will also be more severe after the globalization.

Secondly, albeit significantly effective, the growth of economic and technology has its environmental costs. The effects of this can be seen in the destruction of the ozone layer as well as global warming due to the industrialization. Overexploitation of natural resources has already reached the alarm level in several areas and may continue in the future. China, where the industrialization is happening most strongly along with the degradation of habitats that the emisson cover the whole city as frog, could be taken as an expample. Additionally, the predictions of climate change of scientists are quite grey with the global warming, the rise of sea level and the melting of polar ice caps. These predictions are based on scientific investigation of the physics of the Earth's atmosphere, ocean, land, and ice, including the combination of chemistry and biology.

As a citizen, I always wish to contribute to the future society with my knowledge and experience from study and real life. Everyone has resposibility to change the world in the good way and I will try to do my part. Comlying with law, helping others around, using public transports and save energy is simple things that will be a small breck to build a better society. Futhermore, when I become a lawyer, I will have more chances to fight for peace, equality and eternal values of mankind. In the first years after graduating, I intend to work for environment agencies to follow up lawsuit against company polluting environment. For example, in my country, Taiwanese Vedan company it had dumped wastewater into Thi Vai river, causing deaths of living creatures in the river and local farmers' losses. However, the gorvernment failed to require Vedan to compensate owing to legal loopholes. Therefore, I think improving the legal system is also an important work that I and my colleagues will try to do in the far future.

In conclusion, the world is in our hands now and the future will depend on our action. At any rate we need to start doing some things immediately to affect our future in a better way. We are the only ones who can change it, and we have the capability to do it.
Senildang   
Jan 11, 2014
Scholarship / MOTIVATION LETTER - I realized my passion for marketing [3]

needed skills

necessary skills. To avoid repeating the word "necessarry skill", you can replace it with other synonyms such as crucial, important...

I will also learn different cultures

learn about different cultures

all of my effort

all of my efforts

and these will add to my social and academic development

This is not clear sentence, You can change like this 'these will help you not only in academics but also in social relationship'

Overall, it is good writing. Good luck~
Senildang   
Jan 11, 2014
Scholarship / As a young mother with a newborn ; Scholarship essay [3]

to go to college and better my life

Check your grammar here. 'better' is not a verb. You can change like this 'to go to college and make my life better'

Earning a college degree

provide

Avoid repeating. You should write long sentence instead of simple one.

I've reached part of that limit with many more to go

This sentence is not clear

I think you should use a wide range of vcabulary to make your essay more interesting.
Senildang   
Jan 11, 2014
Scholarship / "Be consistent in doing what you believe is true despite critics" - NTU essay [6]

Since I came into secondary school, I decided to challenge myself

Check your tense

I neglected them as I think that

You can replace "as" by another word such as because, seeing that... Avoid repeating

different primary school

'different primary schools'

although we came from different primary school but we accepted

This is wrong sentence. Don't use 'but' here. Replace it with a comma

At the end, I become the most excellent

Check your tense

As the saying, "Honesty is the best policy". Exactly, honesty is basically value in our life.

This is sentence fragment.

I never be dishonest

'I am never dishonest'

Your essay is not good. You should improve your grammar fist.
Senildang   
Jan 6, 2014
Scholarship / Global30 scholarship in Japan - academic needs/professional goals [4]

Topic: Please explain in detail how the program ( social science) and department/school (school of law) to which you are applying meets your academic needs as a student and your professional goals in the future.

If someone asks me "what do you want to be?", I will reply unhesitantly that I want to be a lawyer. No matter a 10-year-old-child or a 20-year-old-girl, the answer will not change. And I knew that school of law of Nagoya university is where my dream comes true.

As a student, I always desire to gain a wide knowledge about my major which will help me with my future profession. Furthermore, taking part in social works or sport clubs is also essential. In my current university, I have joined in the swimming club as well as the media group. Writing and editing scripts for online news reports is my main task in group. I not only analysed pieces of information and pictures but also turn them into attractive news. After that, when starting the new semester, I realized how those activites help me with my study. Great as it is, the program that I am learning does not meet my all needs. In the new era of globalization, the international environment along with the global curriculum is a key to open the door leading to succeed. Therefore, the programs in Global 30 project in general, and social program in Nagoya university in particular, is my target that I have to achieve.

The first time I have heard about Nagoya is the summer of 2012 when I was watching the college admission consultant talk show on screen. Because I am interested in law and legislation, I searched about law department on Internet. I really was impressed by the modern agriculture ad facilities of the school. In my own country, only universities that is for wealthy students have such ones. Additionally, the curriculum covers different legal systems in the world, especially focusing on Asia. The course will offer me the fundamental disciplines in political science, law and economics. In the next 10 years when I am a lawyer, it is possible to have foreign clients. With the broad knowledge, I will be easier and more confident to consult legal problems to them. Undeniably, the small class sizes is another advantages, rseeing that professors will have more opportunities to help students. The atmosphere in class will be more friedly and exciting like a discussion instead of boring as traditional class.

In brief, I strongly believe that the course will cater to my taste in academic study as well as in future occupation. Overall, I hope I will have chance to contribute to Nagoya with my talent and effort as an outstanding student.
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