yohooooo
Feb 22, 2014
Writing Feedback / Traditional methods of cooking is likely to be extinct - IELTS writing [7]
Thank you all, I appreciate your time :)
Thank you all, I appreciate your time :)
yohooooo
Feb 20, 2014
Writing Feedback / Traditional methods of cooking is likely to be extinct - IELTS writing [7]
Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
==>
This essay raises the issue related to traditional foods, which are currently being hardly needed whilst non-traditional meals (fast food restaurant products) have already dominated the ones prepared using traditional ways of cooking. Providing there are two options whether this argue is agreeable or not, I think this opinion is not completely incorrect. What I mean by this is that, most people now would most probably prefer to reserve convenience meals to the ones which take long time to prepare. I will expand my view in further paragraphs of the essay.
First of all, it is important to note that people working in offices and in such places that require them to spend entire days working are mostly willing to not to spend long time for a meal. Obviously, this significantly reduces numbers of people who eat traditional foods. I considered myself as an example of those people I stated above.
The opposite scenario with the contrary argument which is well supported by female is that, they cook traditional meals for dinner though it's not eaten in breakfast and lunch. In another words, traditional meals are not likely to be replaced, apparently. But the weak point of this view is that, at present more and more of those housewives start working in the offices and such places where they actually do not have a leisure time to cook something using traditional methods.
To sum up, considering the reasons and examples I stated above, I agree with the view of essay's subject that is the future of traditional meals is likely to extinction, and appropriate measures are to be taken to deal with it.
Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
==>
This essay raises the issue related to traditional foods, which are currently being hardly needed whilst non-traditional meals (fast food restaurant products) have already dominated the ones prepared using traditional ways of cooking. Providing there are two options whether this argue is agreeable or not, I think this opinion is not completely incorrect. What I mean by this is that, most people now would most probably prefer to reserve convenience meals to the ones which take long time to prepare. I will expand my view in further paragraphs of the essay.
First of all, it is important to note that people working in offices and in such places that require them to spend entire days working are mostly willing to not to spend long time for a meal. Obviously, this significantly reduces numbers of people who eat traditional foods. I considered myself as an example of those people I stated above.
The opposite scenario with the contrary argument which is well supported by female is that, they cook traditional meals for dinner though it's not eaten in breakfast and lunch. In another words, traditional meals are not likely to be replaced, apparently. But the weak point of this view is that, at present more and more of those housewives start working in the offices and such places where they actually do not have a leisure time to cook something using traditional methods.
To sum up, considering the reasons and examples I stated above, I agree with the view of essay's subject that is the future of traditional meals is likely to extinction, and appropriate measures are to be taken to deal with it.
yohooooo
Jan 28, 2014
Writing Feedback / Toefl; Childhood is the happiest time of our life (My weakness point is writing) [6]
You have some grammar mistakes there such as - remarkably moments , childhood is a happiest time ( it's a period of life) , among others.
Big obstacles to understand your essay are in organisation and prose. You have to have your own structure to write such essays. You could achieve something by briefly planning your essay at the beginning, and when you note your ideas down you should additionally prove them by facts and give appropriate examples.
You have some grammar mistakes there such as - remarkably moments , childhood is a happiest time ( it's a period of life) , among others.
Big obstacles to understand your essay are in organisation and prose. You have to have your own structure to write such essays. You could achieve something by briefly planning your essay at the beginning, and when you note your ideas down you should additionally prove them by facts and give appropriate examples.
yohooooo
Jan 28, 2014
Writing Feedback / Road accidents claim too many lives. What can governments and individuals do to reduce it? [9]
Thank you :) I used some structures which are usually relative to TOEFL's ones, but the subject is taken from IELTS writing tasks. It took me no longer than an hour, as it was required.
and thanks for Duminda :) I'll be careful choosing a forum the next time )
Thank you :) I used some structures which are usually relative to TOEFL's ones, but the subject is taken from IELTS writing tasks. It took me no longer than an hour, as it was required.
and thanks for Duminda :) I'll be careful choosing a forum the next time )
yohooooo
Jan 27, 2014
Writing Feedback / Nowadays there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. [5]
Today'smodernword women's opportunities are a lot comparing to what there were in the past. - a bit like a tautology, plus first three words can be paraphrased by just one word " Currently ", and at last providing you want to compare two things, you can't use " a lot ", but " more".
why don't u begin with this one ?!
" It exists such indisputable fact that current women's opportunities outweigh ones they had before."
Today'smodernword women's opportunities are a lot comparing to what there were in the past. - a bit like a tautology, plus first three words can be paraphrased by just one word " Currently ", and at last providing you want to compare two things, you can't use " a lot ", but " more".
why don't u begin with this one ?!
" It exists such indisputable fact that current women's opportunities outweigh ones they had before."
yohooooo
Jan 26, 2014
Writing Feedback / Road accidents claim too many lives. What can governments and individuals do to reduce it? [9]
Yah, that's better. thank u )
Yah, that's better. thank u )
yohooooo
Jan 25, 2014
Writing Feedback / Road accidents claim too many lives. What can governments and individuals do to reduce it? [9]
This topic raises the issue what we can do to avoid such significant number of fatalities that currently being caused by
road accidents everyday. Indisputably, the primary footprinter of it are teenagers who ride vehicles without having
proper riding qualifications. Nevertheless, the fact that most of those accidents are caused by the high number of cars
on roads is not less important (traffic jams). My view is that both government and individuals should try to reduce
numbers of cars on roads and prohibit inexperienced people from driving vehicles. My position is well supported by both
common sense and by observation.
To begin with, the high number of vehicles, which now is making traffic jams on crossroads are making people get
nervous, clogging people to get to their definitions on time. As a result they ride more speedy than they were going to,
unknowingly causing serious accidents. Closely scrutiny reveals that by reducing numbers of cars many other problems
(problems related to roads and pollution) can also get solved simultaneously with the main problem - road accidents.
This reduction can be made both by governments and individuals.
It's widely believed though that many present inexperienced people (especially who don't have qualifications or didn't
study properly) are one of the most hazardous threats on roads. It is indicated especially to those people, who drive
cars by no purpose and make emergencies. Despite the existences of laws, which bans those people to drive cars, this
action isn't completely stopped yet. This means that the next step should be made by individuals, by forbidding their
children from driving cars, as far as the most of inexperienced people are teenagers , no doubt.
In the final analysis, the problem raised in this essay can be reduced by companies of individuals and governments.
While it is up to the government to reduce numbers of cars and to strictly monitore observation of rules, per family
should not buy more than one car and forbid their children from driving cars when they want just to waste the time
with it.
This topic raises the issue what we can do to avoid such significant number of fatalities that currently being caused by
road accidents everyday. Indisputably, the primary footprinter of it are teenagers who ride vehicles without having
proper riding qualifications. Nevertheless, the fact that most of those accidents are caused by the high number of cars
on roads is not less important (traffic jams). My view is that both government and individuals should try to reduce
numbers of cars on roads and prohibit inexperienced people from driving vehicles. My position is well supported by both
common sense and by observation.
To begin with, the high number of vehicles, which now is making traffic jams on crossroads are making people get
nervous, clogging people to get to their definitions on time. As a result they ride more speedy than they were going to,
unknowingly causing serious accidents. Closely scrutiny reveals that by reducing numbers of cars many other problems
(problems related to roads and pollution) can also get solved simultaneously with the main problem - road accidents.
This reduction can be made both by governments and individuals.
It's widely believed though that many present inexperienced people (especially who don't have qualifications or didn't
study properly) are one of the most hazardous threats on roads. It is indicated especially to those people, who drive
cars by no purpose and make emergencies. Despite the existences of laws, which bans those people to drive cars, this
action isn't completely stopped yet. This means that the next step should be made by individuals, by forbidding their
children from driving cars, as far as the most of inexperienced people are teenagers , no doubt.
In the final analysis, the problem raised in this essay can be reduced by companies of individuals and governments.
While it is up to the government to reduce numbers of cars and to strictly monitore observation of rules, per family
should not buy more than one car and forbid their children from driving cars when they want just to waste the time
with it.
