Posts by Ninamar

Ninamar

Feb 28, 2014

Writing Feedback / IELTS; Changing look is good or not? [6]

Hi,

I've just read your essay, I want to share some advices just to make your essay more coherent :

For example, I was encouraged to do heavy make-up when I was high school instead of preparing to admission examination. > You should add the consequences of being expose to this situation, just to close the paragraph.

you can add some consequences that brought to you.

In par. 4 you explain some positive things of being concerned about the physical aspect, but you sould try to focus on defend your argument * paying more attention to one's appearance have severe affect on our health and wisdom*

Remember always to respond the essay question >Why do you think people do it? and Do you think changing a look is good thing?.

Nina

Ninamar

Feb 28, 2014

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: distance education to classroom-based education ? [4]

Distance education delivered via the Internet or television has more advantage than classroom-based education. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people prefer distance education to classroom-based education because they believe the former approach can bring more benefits. I am opposed to this opinion.

In the latest years, new technologies have acquired such an important transformative role in our everyday lives. Education has not been apart from this changes. Some people agree that distance education, using internet or television, is better than the traditional education. Whilst there are strong arguments to support this, I would suggest that the classroom-based education has better results. This argument will be proven by looking at how the face-to-face interact and the groups are essential in the development of the students.

Firstly, it is well known that one of the human's inherent needs is to maintain face-to-face contact, because of that the traditional education is a non-changeable way to encourage students to develop their social skills and their sense of empathy. This interaction helps students being more cooperative and enhance empathy for others.

However, technology is a great way to socialize, students tent to be nervous and anxious when they get disconnected of the on-line word. As can be seen, traditional education is essential for the students to feel part of the society.

In addition to this, it is proved that students learn more efficiently when they are in groups. This improves their critical thinking and also their tolerance for other's points of view.

To sum up, the classroom-based education plays an important role for the personal and academic student's development. However, it can take advantages of the technology in many ways, it is not accurate to underestimate the traditional education. Thus, this kind of education is highly recommended.