Writing Feedback / Television dominates the free time for too many people& prevent from socializing? [6]

Dear All, I will be glad if you can provide your comments on my essay from all points that a good essay should have e.g. Coherence & Cohesion, Lexical resources, grammatical mistakes.

IELTS Task2: Television dominates the free time for too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socializing with Others (Agree or Disagree).

Television plays a major role in majority of the peoples' life, people enjoy watching movies, listening music, watching sports etc in their leisure time.However, watching television can take up a lot of time which could be utilized for socializing with people and friends. In my opinion, if we limit the amount of time we watch television, we can enjoy our free time.

First of all, there is not doubt about the fact that television has brought a significant change and has opened the windows of new era in our life. For instance, there are several channels being played; including but not limited to, BBC news, Movies, Cartoons, national geography, social dramas etc, one can enjoy watching any of the channel based on his preference. Considering myself, I prefer watching movies and learning new things from national geography channel, in my case TV not only enhances my general information about wild life and nature, but also provided me opportunity to watch latest science fiction movies and enjoy leisure time when I am alone. However, I feel if I spend extended hours sitting in front of TV and doing nothing it may reflect adverse effect on my health.

Moreover, watching TV is a passive activity. There are several negative attibutes associated to this particular activity and it would be worth to mention here. Doctors and most parents would agree that watching TV has produced everlasting and unaltered affects on the life of people especially children as it diminished the eye sight slowly and gradually one may start having blurred images as he may not see thing clearly. Furthermore, those who spend most of the time on TV, would not have time to meet and socialize people, and involve in healthy and sports activity. I would like to mention here that one of my friend used to watch television channels extensively, he preferred sitting home alone, meeting none.

As there is a saying, "Excess of Every thing is dangerous", I personally strongly believe and agree with this saying and would like to highlight over here that TV is just a device that is there to help us to get self entertained, know the information on what's happening around the world etc. Spending excessive time could bring catastrophic results in our social as well as professional life, therefore, we should spend only a reasonable required time watching it on controlled scheduled way and rest of the time should be utilized in other fruitful activities like sports, making relations strong and living healthy life.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Fast food is unhealthy. Do you agree and disagree? [6]

Hello every one. I am preparing for IELTs test and planning to attempt an exam in April 2014. I would request you to please provide me with your valuable points which can help me to improve my english.

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Food plays a vital role in the life of all human beings. There are different kind of people who like different kind of foods. For instance, some like vegetables, fruits, while other like fast food. Those people who are eating fast food regularly are more like to get high cholesterol, blood pressure, sugar and several other diseases so it is evident that fast food is unhealthy.

Over a period of years, as fast food chains have evolved, most of the people, including childrens, teenagers, youngsters, are fond of eating fast food on daily basis. It is quite obvious from the fact they are not aware about the hidden negative aspects of Fast food. It was revealed in one the the top newspapers that huge consumption of fast food is affecting the growth of children, creating significant health problems for aged people and emphasis was made to have banned all fast food companies. Doctors too have agreed with the fact that consuming fast food on regular basis is not good for health at all and must be prevented.

In my opinion, an awareness campaign should be launched comprising of doctors, mothers and affected people, where general awareness need to be given to all citizens on disadvantages of consumption of fast food. This way we can improve our society and can help all individuals to remain healthy and eat healthy food rather than wasting money and life for fast food.