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Posts by VTP77
Name: Vy Thao Pham
Joined: May 24, 2014
Last Post: Oct 29, 2014
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: United States of America
School: Lawton Chiles High School

Displayed posts: 5
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VTP77   
Oct 28, 2014
Undergraduate / I was five years of old when my whole world collapsed - UF "good life" essay [5]

Thanks! Is this better? I'm afraid I'll exceed the word limit (400-500) and the deadline is coming up soon so I can't just scratch this essay and start a new one :(

START>>>>[...] Everyday was strenuous as I felt detached from the events around me it was like I was an invisible observer tasked with doing what everyone else was doing but is limited to certain interactions with the people around me.I felt that my life was a disarray. The five year old me thought that this point in my life was the lowest. I mean, how can one achieved happiness without their favorite toy or food? But, as the year progress my communication skills gradually improved with the help of my supportive parents and teachers and I started opening up to my classmates. Soon I was making new friends and shattering my "quiet girl" image left and right. It slowly started to dawn on me that I am still overall satisfied and happy in my new home and that the things I missed from Vietnam were the materialistic ones. What made me truly happy were the new friends I made at Gilchrist elementary and my family. This experience made me redefine my concept of "the good life" from one that's materialistic to that of how I view it today. Personally, I believe that making new friends, living life with no regrets, and being surrounded by the people most important to you is the most fulfilling aspects of life.

At the end of our lives, we all want to look back at the past and have a sense of satisfaction of our choices and accomplishments. The question is how do we accomplish this. As individuals our notion of "the good life" is unique to each individuals whose views are defined by their experiences, values, and aspirations. As an undergraduate at the University of Florida I would be given a chance to make new friends from different geographical location cans culture. It'll also would provide me the chance to be in a new environment where I can gain self-sufficiency while still be close enough to Tallahassee for me to visit my family and friends. The University of Florida had always been the university that I wanted to go to since I was a freshmen in high school. I believe that in order to have a "good life" I should make choices that I wouldn't regret in the future so if given the chance to become a gator I would take it with no hesitation.The University of Florida will help me grow as an individual and expand on my aspirations and definition of a "good life".

<<<<END
VTP77   
Oct 28, 2014
Undergraduate / I was five years of old when my whole world collapsed - UF "good life" essay [5]

My grammar is horrible :( please help me

ESSAY
In a concise narrative, describe your notion of 'the good life'. How will your undergraduate experience at the University of Florida prepare you to live 'the good life'?

START>>>>
I was five years of old when my whole world collapsed. Led into a new country and away from Vietnam by my parents, I encountered strange people with countenances and languages from my own. I was at loss for what to do with the situation that I found myself in-a new home that was in every way contradictory to my old life. While in the process of adjusting to my new life I was soon faced with another challenging problem: school. Being the new kid in school and having a limited English vocabulary wasn't easy. Everyday was strenuous as I felt detached from the events around me it was like I was an invisible observer tasked with doing what everyone else was doing but is limited to certain interactions with the people around me.

[...]
VTP77   
May 25, 2014
Undergraduate / "No English" University of Florida Application Essay [4]

Essay Topic> University of Florida application essay
In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.

ESSAY STARTS HERE>>>
I was five years of age when my whole world collapsed. Lead into a new country by my parents I encounter strange people with a different countenance and language then me. I was at lost for what to do with the situation that I found myself into-a new home that was in every way contradictory to my old life. As I try to adapt to my new life another shift in my life happened, I was going to school. During elementary school I didn't know what I was doing or why was I in a place where people speak a foreign language that I cannot process. It was hard struggling through elementary school as a kid who's still struggling to learn the language and at the same time learn the materials taught in class. As the foreign student who doesn't even know the language spoken in class I was a lost cause to most of my teachers. As a result I become withdrawn and antisocial from my peers and the people around me. Everyday was strenuous as I felt detached from the events around me it was like I was an invisible observer tasked with doing what everyone else was doing but is limited to certain interactions with the people around me. I was still struggling in first grade with speaking and writing English fluently for my English was very fragmented and interactions with people around me was strained but that year something different happened. I made my first friend. Its astonishing how opening up to someone can do to a person and the relief and improvement it can do for one. Through my interactions with people I discovered that not only did my English improve but also the isolated feeling I had for the last two years. Through this experience I learned that interactions with others advance our growth in life be it educational or spiritual as Muhammad Ali states "Friendship...is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything."

As a result of this experience I now appreciate the importance of the people around me along with the influence of social interactions with those whom I hold dear to me. I learned that its not just about your grade or how high your GPA is its also about how you interact with the people around you to communicate your ideas and distribute your knowledge to those around you. As a student of The University of Florida I will not only focus on my academic education but also assists those struggling and in need of help.

ESSAY ENDS>>>
I'm having trouble closing the essay so I don't know if this closing statement is enough but the word limit for the application essay is about 450 words and mine is already 444 words please help.

Thank You
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