Writing Feedback / IELTS: Working/Traveling between finishing school and starting university? [8]

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing school and starting university studies. Discuss advantages and disadvantages.

Students always enjoy some leisure time at the end of their high school and before entering university. It is interesting to notice that young people are often encouraged to work or travel during this specific period of time which leads to some benefits and drawbacks as well.

Firstly, working at young age introduces young them with the real world. It brings ideas and knowledge about how to communicate effectively with people. They get the opportunity to start earning money. In spite of all these features part time jobs sometimes may be found cruel to them. Working hard often might be a reason for mental depression which could ruin young people's creativity and potentiality. Addiction of money often pursue them to drop out from their study.

Secondly, travelling is one of the good form of learning. The more you visit different place the more you discover the world. Travelling to natural sites like sea, mountain or countryside will enrich young peoples' mind. All the narrowness, selfishness can be swept away by observing natural generosity. Travelling to different places also give you chance of being familiar with different culture or climate. Despite these facts, for lack of maturity in early age, travelling to new place sometimes may create problems to them. Handling money, dealing with strangers often makes negative impact on their fresh minds.

In conclusion, working or travelling at the leisure time for young people should always be appreciated. Only some precautionary actions needed to be maintained to get rid of all miserable drawbacks.

Your any recommendation on writing (Grammar, vocabulary, Ideas/pattern) will be highly appreciated.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Customs and behaviours followed by tourists or host should welcome. [8]

This is my first thread to EssayForum, your comments will be highly appreciated, Please mention the IELTS Band based on your judgment.

Tourism has been flourishing for the last few years. Tourists from different country and culture are travelling to other countries. Age old traditions of locals and their manners are highly evaluated by every nation. Meanwhile, the new concepts and cultural views carried by tourists can also be accepted by host countries to enrich cultural diversity. For my understanding, tourism can be an excellent mood of cultural exchange between both sides.

Ancient cultures, national believes and social behaviours of every nation make them unique from others. Every country will try their utmost to protect their individuality and identity. For an example, Chinese are treated as an especial nation having rich old cultural background. Their traditional festivals, songs, form of dancing, language or foods have own style which gives a proud feeling for all Chinese. So tourists visiting any other country should respect local customs and behaviour. This is also a great opportunity for the host to display their cultural beauty to the visitors. Thus their concepts and manners will be carried throughout the world.

On the other hand, travellers can also represent themselves along with their cultures to the host country. Fashions, dresses or special behaviours of tourists are often attracted by the locals. It is said that people outside his country is an ambassador. Tourists should utilize every chance of branding his cultures and customs. As an instant, traveller from west can deliver their culture when visiting east. Visitors can share experience, tell gossip about their national achievements, spread their eating habits, languages, festivals to host country people. The host country should appreciate overseas values and cultures to enlighten their own cultures.

Eventually, in the age of globalization we cannot restrict cultural mobility. My opinion is to accept and spread variety of customs and manners in every corner of the world. And tourism has a great role to build a multicultural world.