rockybir
Jun 14, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS ESSAY: Computers - What things will they be used for in the future? [8]
thank you very much AXED for valuable feedback
thank you very much AXED for valuable feedback
rockybir
Jun 13, 2014
Writing Feedback / [IELTS] Problems and solutions for regional unbalance? [14]
great essay..range of vocabulary is excellent.
coherent and cohesion is very good.
grammar control is excellent....8.5 or 9 band essay
great essay..range of vocabulary is excellent.
coherent and cohesion is very good.
grammar control is excellent....8.5 or 9 band essay
rockybir
Jun 13, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS ESSAY: Computers - What things will they be used for in the future? [8]
hello fikri,
thanks for your feedback.
i wil appreciate if you can tell me about, how much band i can obtained in ielts with this kind of writing.
it will gives me idea about my current position.
and please specify, if you can, about area in which i have to work to improve my essay writing.
reagrds:
rocky
hello fikri,
thanks for your feedback.
i wil appreciate if you can tell me about, how much band i can obtained in ielts with this kind of writing.
it will gives me idea about my current position.
and please specify, if you can, about area in which i have to work to improve my essay writing.
reagrds:
rocky
rockybir
Jun 13, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS ESSAY: Computers - What things will they be used for in the future? [8]
hello ilaha,
Thanks for your feedback.
in context to may essay, i think,to show contrast is demand of the topic that's why i wrote both, positive and negative sides of the computers.
what you think about it?
hello ilaha,
Thanks for your feedback.
in context to may essay, i think,to show contrast is demand of the topic that's why i wrote both, positive and negative sides of the computers.
what you think about it?
rockybir
Jun 11, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS ESSAY: Computers - What things will they be used for in the future? [8]
THIS IS FIRST DAY & FIRST POST ON THIS FORUM.I HAVE JOINED THIS TO GET YOUR VALUABLE FEEDBACK ON MY ESSAY WRITING. JUNE I HAVE TO WRITE IELTS ON 21 JUNE SO YOUR FEEDBACK CAN HELP ME TO GET GOOD SCORE. PLEASE PROVIDE YOUR FEEDBACK ON FOLLOWING ESSAY.
Topic: We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes.
What things will they be used for in the future? Is this dependent on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits.
Nowadays, computers are playing extensive role in our daily life's working such as business documentation, crime detection, moreover fly planes. Although, computers made our life easy but it has tendency to get easily effected by viruses which may cause of major damage. In my opinion, we should adopt computer technology with care.
First of all, computers are helping us to save our time and it is also help us to maintain environment green due its ability of paperless working. For instance, to apply for any government job was lengthy process, now it is matter of one click. We have just simply log on to the concerned department's site & submit the application. By this, we can save both time & paper. Moreover, tracking application status is become very easy. Secondly, with the help of computer, we can easily record & retrieve the data.
Although, use of computers have lot of benefits but these are very vulnerable of virus attack too. For example, banking account, email account hacking, personal & financial information hacking are name of few.
However, it is very much possible that computers will more involve in our daily life. Driving car without driver may help to blind people for commuting. Scientist also may predict accurately about natural disaster.
All in all, being updated and adopt computer technology is necessity of today's life, if we will use computers with little awareness, it can be more beneficial for us.
THIS IS FIRST DAY & FIRST POST ON THIS FORUM.I HAVE JOINED THIS TO GET YOUR VALUABLE FEEDBACK ON MY ESSAY WRITING. JUNE I HAVE TO WRITE IELTS ON 21 JUNE SO YOUR FEEDBACK CAN HELP ME TO GET GOOD SCORE. PLEASE PROVIDE YOUR FEEDBACK ON FOLLOWING ESSAY.
Topic: We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes.
What things will they be used for in the future? Is this dependent on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits.
Nowadays, computers are playing extensive role in our daily life's working such as business documentation, crime detection, moreover fly planes. Although, computers made our life easy but it has tendency to get easily effected by viruses which may cause of major damage. In my opinion, we should adopt computer technology with care.
First of all, computers are helping us to save our time and it is also help us to maintain environment green due its ability of paperless working. For instance, to apply for any government job was lengthy process, now it is matter of one click. We have just simply log on to the concerned department's site & submit the application. By this, we can save both time & paper. Moreover, tracking application status is become very easy. Secondly, with the help of computer, we can easily record & retrieve the data.
Although, use of computers have lot of benefits but these are very vulnerable of virus attack too. For example, banking account, email account hacking, personal & financial information hacking are name of few.
However, it is very much possible that computers will more involve in our daily life. Driving car without driver may help to blind people for commuting. Scientist also may predict accurately about natural disaster.
All in all, being updated and adopt computer technology is necessity of today's life, if we will use computers with little awareness, it can be more beneficial for us.
