Writing Feedback / Effects of sexual abuse and injustice on the personal lives of countless females today [2]

You need to check on your first line structure. It should be something like this, "In this world, we are constantly battling against sexual injustices.Many females are struggling with the effects of sexual abuse in their lives."

Writing Feedback / Event letter in ielts exam - "International Day" [3]

Please check the last sentence. The sentence should read "Thank you again for providing us with this great networking event, and please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions"

Writing Feedback / IELTS Museums and art galleries should show artworks of the local culture [2]

You need to restructure your first sentence so that it can make sense. For instance, "Traditional arts and crafts are going through tough times. Most of them are on the brink of extinction."

In the second sentence, strike out "so" begin it as naturally as possible creating room to expound on the first idea.