Posts by keellyross

keellyross

Aug 3, 2014

Undergraduate / 'NOT YET'; any experience or accomplishment that defines me? (College Entrance Essay) [3]

Have you ever wondered why people write essays? From my experience, I believe this is where you should start your essay, using a question for your hook is cliche I have been writing essays since I was in first grade. As I got older, however, the essay questions became harder; the essays longer. Gone were the cute questions easily answered with a yes or a no and the meaningless essays only your six-year-old self could get away with it.

I can never forget the fact when I first wrote a proper essay that I was proud of. this sentence doesn't really make sense, try rewording For the first time I garnered full marks and a stamp my little self always dreamed of having. Looking back, I realize a deeper meaning for my overwhelming pride . If one were to compare that essay to the essays I did in first grade, they would see a lot of differences. The former was full in the sense that it had more meaning and understanding than the latter. Kind of confusing, which one is former and which latter? Like myself , it "grew up" I don't think this needs to be in quotes and matured .

Now, since I am in my fourth and last year of high school, essays are everywhere. Test essays, reflection essays, project essays, college application essays; it's like teachers have this gigantic pile of deep and reflective questions that they're too happy.. maybe eager instead? to give out. (Good job! Here's an essay question that's so deep you question your purpose in this world, yourself, and whatnot.)

Honestly, despite all the bad reputation it gets it doesn't really get a bad reputation, reputation is possessive so maybe say despite all the bad reputations it has , I have a soft spot for essays. When I write them, I feel like I have been transported to another world. A world where I can write whatever I want without the fear of judgement weighing me down. I feel infinite, to quote Charlie in Stephen Chboksy's The Perks of Being a Wallflower . As a result, my essays are passionate and full of what I consider to be my voice as a writer.

Faced with this question, however, "Are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realized, that have helped define you as a person?" never directly quote the question!!!! I am at a total loss. I do not know what experiences I should write about or the accomplishments that have defined me as a person. I have wrote and rewrote what feels like a hundred essays only to crumple them up and start again, a waste of time and paper. I have sat in the same chair, in the same spot for days, going down memory lane, and reevaluating myself in hopes of finding an experience, an accomplishment- anything!- that have made me who I am today. I was so desperate that I did not even care if that experience or accomplishment defined me; as long as I had something to write about, anything would do.

Seeing as this is the nth essay I'm writing I have realized why I am suffering from this block. It is because, to put it simply , I do not have experiences or accomplishments that defined me as a person, or if I do, I cannot remember them anymore. Sure, there might be experiences and accomplishments that stood out, but they never really made much of an impact. Experiences, as the famous saying goes, are the best teachers. To me, they were just fulfilling that role. Indeed, through them, I have gained and learned valuable lessons and insights that were essential in the growth of my character and being; it never happened that because of that particular experience or accomplishment, I was now known as this or that. For me, those experiences or accomplishments were not meant to define; they were meant to help.

To this day, an experience or accomplishment that defines me still has not happened. Am I worried? No. Should I be? I don't think so. In the book of Ecclesiastes Chapter 3, it says that there is a time for everything. Maybe now is not the right time for me to have that experience or accomplishment; maybe it would still take 5,10,50,100 years before that happens. However, I am not afraid because I know my time will come; I will wait. Until then, I treat everyday as if this was the experience I am waiting for; I treat my friends and family and all those who are dear to me as my greatest accomplishments in life. My daily mission: laugh longer, smile wider, pray harder, be friendlier, stand taller, and do better than what I did the day before.

The essay question asked about an accomplishment that HELPED define you and you said yourself: For me, those experiences or accomplishments were not meant to define; they were meant to help. They want to hear about one of those accomplishments not about how you like to write essays. I think this essay is good but its not on topic at all and I think the admissions office will think this is a lazy way of getting out of writing an essay.

But you do have very good voice and the essay itself was nice.
I hope this helped.

keellyross

Aug 3, 2014

Undergraduate / For Those Who Can't; accomplishment or event that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood [2]

This is for an application to college. The essay question is:
Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

There is absolutely no feeling that compares. Standing on top of your high school's bleachers, clenching the shaking hands of your Co-Chairs and impatiently squeezing your eyes shut while you wait, back turned, for that "Wow Moment".

Nine months is a long time. Nine months to organize and fundraise. Nine months of a knot-filled back and sleepless nights. But only nine months to prepare an eighteen-hour long Relay for Life event.

The previous year's relay was my first and last as a team captain/participant. I sat in the first team captain meeting that year expecting to be bombarded with paperwork and a list of must-do's. Instead, I was entertained by a pre-made video that affected me more than I could have ever fathomed.

The video concentrated on the goals of Relay for Life through interviews of participants, American Cancer Society staff members and, most importantly, survivors. The survivors lit up the screen with twinkling eyes full of bliss. They appreciated life more than anyone sitting in that meeting. A smile grew on my face as I watched the free spirits of the survivors, yet my heart blackened with the thought of all the others; those who didn't get to walk the survivor lap at a relay event, those who were given an 'expiration date'. Those who, like my grandmother, had all the hope in the world but it was simply not enough.

I attempted to push the dark feeling away as I continued to watch the video. Faces continued appearing on the screen and stories were recounted but the whole while that feeling was still present. How was it fair that children, teenagers, men and women had to endure such a painful experience while still only having a slim chance of survival? I decided that moment that I owed all those affected by cancer. I was determined to make a change, because no one else seemed to realize the injustice they faced, the unfairness of cancer. Unlike them, I could still get up to go to the bathroom and sit up in bed; I was able to do simple things that they might never be able to do again.

At the end of the event that year I was a proud captain of a 50 person team which raised a total of $8,000. Not too shabby-but definitely not enough. By the next year's event, the urge to make a difference swelled within me. When the opportunity of becoming one of the four Event Co-Chairs for the next event presented itself, I couldn't have been happier to say yes. The responsibility of planning an 18-hour long event with an expected 1200 participants was slightly daunting, but the video I had seen at my first Relay for Life meeting replayed in the back of my mind as I remembered all the 'others'. This is what I owed them.

Nine months is what it took to plan that year's relay. When it finally arrived our community raised a record-breaking $139,000. Midway through the event a former Chair asked if I was ready for the "Wow Moment". I had barely begun to shake my head yes as she grabbed my hand and pulled me to the top of the bleachers where my Co-Chairs were waiting with their backs turned to the track. I joined hands with them and nervously shut my eyes. "Three... two... ONE," The feeling when we all spun around was simply indescribable. Everything we were looking at was organized by ourselves. All $139,000 was fund-raised because of an event which the four of us made happen. In just nine months we made a huge difference, but more importantly, we made it for those who couldn't.

While standing at the top of those bleachers I knew that the relay event would soon come to a close but my personal relay had only just begun. I walked into that first meeting a year and a half prior as a child with self-pertaining goals and I ended my journey on top of those bleachers a selfless and appreciating adult.