Undergraduate / Library of Congress in Washington DC - it's a place where I was inspired by design... [2]

So I am applying to a college and one of their entrance essay topics is: Describe an instance or place where you have been inspired by architecture or design.

I did my essay on the Library of Congress in Washington DC and my main point is that I am inspired by the artists' abilities to work together and create something wonderful. However, I think that my essay is kind of impersonal and that it sounds like I am trying too hard (like catering to what I think the college wants the essay to sound like).

Oh, by the way, this is specifically for the school of architecture

That day, I visited the city; not as a Washingtonian, but rather as a tourist. I arrived on 1st Street and looked up at the imposing Beaux exterior of the Thomas Jefferson Building of the Library of Congress. Its size and scope left me in wonder of America's Gilded Age; it was reminiscent of how I have always imagined the typical building of downtown Paris to appear. It was not the outside of the building that inspired me though, with its columns, arches, and ornate designs, but the interior of the Library was what I was in awe of; it was much more grandiose.

As I toured the library, I learned that the intricacies of the walls, ceilings, and staircases were all done for free. The tour guide explained that the completion of the multimillion dollar building had left the government without the funds to address the interior; so, architect Thomas Casey traveled to Chicago where the World's Colombian Exposition was coming to an end, and asked the sculptors, painters, and artist to come and design the building: without pay. This was truly amazing, but the most spectacular part was the fact that both starved and world-renowned artists came together to create something remarkable. On the inside of the building, it is evident that many different styles beautifully mesh to create a larger picture of wealth and prosperity. One hallway may be decorated with putties and cherubs while the next has a ceiling painted in remnant of Michelangelo. Although the works of art are inspirational in themselves what truly inspired me was Casey's ability to tap into available resources and bring an unusually diverse selection of artists together to create something beautiful.

Undergraduate / My experience with religion - College essay [2]

This is a college entry essay
Topic: Describe a setting in which you have collaborated or interacted with people whose experiences and/or beliefs differ from yours. Address your initial feelings, and how those experiences were or were not changed by this experience.

I rode the bus every day in middle school and would talk to a couple of people who also lived in my neighborhood. They were in no way my friends, but the circumstances had left us stuck on a bus for 30 minutes with a diverse group students who normally wouldn't interact. One girl was very religious, very Mormon, and we eventually eased into a philosophical debate about religion every afternoon as we rode from the school into our old neighborhood. I am a very argumentative person, and when I feel as if one side is underrepresented in an argument, then I will surely be a member of that side. This was the Mormon girl's first year in public school after being home-schooled her whole life, and she was completely ignorant of any lifestyle different from her home and church. Her unawareness and complete dismissal of misunderstood concepts completely infuriated me, and we quickly slid into a philosophical debate which was to be uninterrupted until the bus finally pulled to her stop. We both wanted the same outcome: for the other person to be informed. She took it as a chance to spread the word and attempt to convert me whereas I simply wanted to let her know that her ideas weren't the only ones out there. See seemed to not understand my religious views. I grew up going to church, and was in no way ignorant about religion, but I was Langston Huges in Salvation. God seemed to not want to talk to me and therefore I was unsure of his existence. This confused her because she believed that must believe in God in order to go to heaven, and if you were unsure, that left only one place for you to go.

One day, instead of arguing about the usual skirmishes, we actually managed a civilized conversation where we each began asking about each other's beliefs. This bus ride, I think, was the climax for both of us. The next day, I expected to return to the normal argument, but when I climbed onto the bus and approached my seat sitting there on top of the gray leather was a Book of Mormon. The Mormon girl was looking at me expectantly but I had no idea what to say. She explained that she had gone through the book and highlighted the parts she thought would best answer the questions I had asked the previous day.

I did read the Book of Mormon, not just the highlighted parts, but most of the book. I gave me insight as to how the Mormon girl though and as to why she stood steady on the opinions she had. Actually, I never saw the Mormon girl again, even though she only lives but two minutes away from me because her parents had decided to put her in a church-run private school. Religion to me has always been unattainable. I still consider myself to be somewhat agnostic; however, after our lengthy "argument" over religion, I had gained a newfound respect and admiration for all religions.