Writing Feedback / UNC supplement- A time when I felt love [3]

Hi, this is my UNC supplement essay and I was hoping that I could get some feedback and suggestions for it. Thanks!
prompt: UNC Professor Barbara Fredrickson - an expert in positive emotions - has defined love as "micro-moments of connection between people, even strangers." Tell us about a time when you experienced a "micro-moment of connection." What did you learn?

One of the most disappointing moments in my life was the day before spring break in sophomore year. My junior year band results had just been posted. Since 6th grade, my dream was to make it into the top band, and I had hoped that my wishes were granted. I had practiced three hours a day the week before the auditions, and during the audition, I had felt confident that I had impressed my teacher enough to move me up. However, my confidence was shattered when I found out I had not only failed to make the top band, I actually moved down a few seats in the band I was currently in. But in the moments that followed, I truly experienced what UNC Professor Barbara Fredrickson calls love: "micro-moments of connection between people."

Finding out that I had done horribly was a major disappointment and a huge setback for me. But as I walked away from the results, my friends who had been there with me and others who had heard about the results surrounded me and comforted me. From hugs and pats on my back to words of encouragement and quickly made up poems, my friends spewed out love to me. As I felt the micro-moments of connection with my friends, I found my emotions making a complete change as my sadness and anger faded and turned into happiness. As we all walked out of the band room, the micro-moments of connection managed to change my mood and I realized that I was laughing and enjoying myself when I stepped off campus.

My friends continued to send me love throughout the break, and I learned that even though I had failed to achieve my goal of making it into the top band, I should not give and should continue following my love for the instrument. For the remainder of the school year and the summer that followed, the thoughts of the micro-moments of connection with my friends repeatedly popped up in my mind and inspired me to dedicate myself to the flute. I practiced very hard and was able to make a comeback during my junior year. I was able to pass the first round of All State Band and get into District Honor Band, two achievements that I had not managed to do in my previous four attempts.

The encouragement and micro-moments of connection with my friends comforted me and gave me confidence to continue practicing and achieving. Because of my friends and their love, I was able to turn a sad situation into happiness. Even though my work and scheduling conflicts prevented me from ending my high school career with a band class, I still play for fun and continue to spread my love for the flute.

Undergraduate / Since its opening, I have always considered Snow Mountain as a place of comfort; common app essay [3]

Hi I just wrote my essay for my common app and I would be extremely grateful for any suggestions and edits :) thanks!

Prompt: Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

The sound of fizzing fried food and the low rumble of voices in many different languages surround me as I leave the kitchen and navigate around the tables. I find my customers, set their food down, and return to the cash register, where my customers come up, thank me for the food, and pay. These few simple steps and basic human interactions can be done by anyone, but to me, they hold a special meaning. I find solace in my work and in my grandparent's decade old restaurant, Snow Mountain, a place that has taught me love and a passion for business.

Since its opening, I have always considered Snow Mountain as a place of comfort. As a child, my parents left me there in the care of my loving grandparents. My grandparents watched over me as I spent my days learning Chinese, attracting customers with my cute naïve baby smile, counting rocks, and occasionally trying out the stove in attempts to make my grandparent's classic chicken. Sadly, these talents were never mastered. But as I matured into a teenager, the influence of Snow Mountain on my mindset and hobbies became more pronounced.

As I transitioned into a high schooler, the aging of my cousins into needy elementary school children became a problem. My grandpa often took time away from Snow Mountain to take care of my cousins, leaving my grandma single-handedly manage the restaurant alone. For her, it was occasionally too busy and hard to handle, so I decided as a freshman that I would be more involved. That day, I became a server and began keeping track of the store. Working made me intrigued in how my grandparents managed to successfully run their business, so I often quietly listened to my grandparents, my dad, and my uncle discuss bills, costs, and profits. As they discussed, I often made mental thoughts to their conversations like what kinds of foods would give us the most profit and the best locations to buy certain materials. Over the past three years, my love for business management grew and expanded into marketing and finance, two fields that I have experienced in a National Youth Leadership Forum for Business, FBLA, and my internship in school.

In addition, Snow Mountain has always been the best place for me to just relax. Homework, the competition to be at the top, and other aspects of high school often left me very stressed and angry. But walking into Snow Mountain every day after school was like a wave of cool, refreshing summer air, calming me and brightening my mood. I could pursue my interests of business management in Snow Mountain while working hard to brighten my customers' moods. I was able to endure long hours of work while boosting my communication skills in an entertaining way. Snow Mountain was the sunlight that came after a long day of studying and working in the storm.

Through my hectic schedule packed with activities such as music lessons to dance class, Snow Mountain was a place that I could count on to make me happy. To others, it is just another small, family owned restaurant, but to me, it is ultimately the place where I am perfectly content.