Writing Feedback / Ielts: Dangerous sports are an invisible killer - threatening games should be forbidden. [3]

Dangerous sports are an invisible killer. For this reason, certain individuals consider that athletes should participate to this kind of sports to become wealthy. Although adventure sports are perceived as the fastest approach to become rich, I would argue that human life is undoubtedly costly, so such life threatening games should be illegal. This easy will examine the positive and adverse aspects of dangerous sports.

There are numerous reasons why a large number of individuals consider dangerous sports should not be banned. One of these reasons is fame. Fame is difficult factor to be obtained by individuals. Therefore, a large number of individuals seek to play these dangerous sports in order to attain high status in society, admiration as well as many fans. Another reason that urges individuals to engage in such sports is finance. Money is extremely significant to many people. Therefore, some individuals consider life treating games such as bullfighting and wrestling games are reliable method to gain fast wealth. A large number of competitions offer millions of dollars and precious prize such as cars and gold, so engaging in such sports is priceless opportunity.

However, dangerous sports are the main cause of lifelong risks. Thus, certain individuals approve that life treating games should be illegal. There are many reasons why dangerous sports should be banned.One of these reasons is permanent disability. Some kind of sports such as car racing, boxing may expose athletes to the danger of serious injuries that have no cure such as Concussion and dumbness. Moreover, they can cause death when players carry out fatal sports such as bungee jumping and running with the bulls. Another reason is dangerous sports can threaten the lives of audience/viewers during competitions. Car racing and horse racing are an example of such sports. During the race, certain objects such as horses or cars probably deviate toward audiences and cause harmful injuries or death to the them.

In summary, life is more precious than money because money can be retrievable, but life is irrecoverable. For this reason, adventure sports should be prohibited.

I hope to assist me to find my grammatical errors and also give me your evaluation A B C D or F to my easy if you like.

best wishes to you

Writing Feedback / IELTS-Task 2: children should take formal training to become good parents [5]

Some people believe that children should have formal training at school to become good parents. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.

Certain individuals consider that children should be formally trained at school to be efficient parents. However, I strongly believe that children should concentrate on their education rather than to learn adult matters.

Children should be given a formal training because of many reasons. One of these reasons is they acquire ability to overcome certain problems that they probably encounter them during parenthood. Deviant behaviour of their subsequent generations is one of the issues that are taught by children in the training. Consequently, they will be able to produce well educated generations as well as the rate of crimes and violence will be dramatically reduced in their societies. Another reason is they gain experience to raise their subsequent generations in a proper way. Certain parents use violent technique to raise their children. However, it is inappropriate method to raise children because it creates mental and psychological problems to their sons. In training, children will be taught to avoid this technique so that they will produce generations with well psychological and mental health. Formal training in school has a great benefit to children to be efficient parents.

However, early responsibility is taught to a child to become efficient parent is ineffective method. There are several factors reinforce this principle. First, when certain children become adult, they will be sterile. Therefore, children learn in school how to become efficient parents are unsuccessful approach. Another factor is Upbringing of sons always require Continuous monitoring. Some teenagers have curiosity to experiment new objects such as drugs and alcohol. Therefore, parents should monitor their adolescent's behaviours regularly to avoid them get involved in crimes as well as substance abuse. School is inappropriate setting to educate children to be efficient parents.

To summarize, school is not inappropriate setting to teach children how they become adequate parents. it should be a place to teach children how they achieve their future aspirations.