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Posts by dowotyyyyy
Name: Ruoshui Dong
Joined: Oct 17, 2014
Last Post: Oct 22, 2014
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  

From: China

Displayed posts: 7
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Oct 22, 2014
Undergraduate / "What do you want to become in the future?" Anything but Engineering [5]

Hi! This is my Common Essay. Please please please look through it and any suggestions/comments/criticisms are welcomed.
(The one I posted in my last thread was totally out of the topic so I wrote a completely different one...I think this new essay is kind of unrelated to that one so I started a new thread. Hopefully it is okay :p)

Prompt: Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

"What do you want to become in the future?" As expected, I found the expression of understanding in my parents' eyes after they heard my answer. Although both of my parents majored in Engineering, I am totally obsessed in something that is completely different from their field. The first thing that came to mind was Health Care and/or a teacher, both in which consider helping others. A stranger might feel that this is weird because I am not following my parents' footsteps, but my parents were not surprised at all. It is my family who inspired my preferences.

I was born in a very typical Chinese family. My parents' are just ordinary people who took common positions after graduating from some unknown universities. What is not typical or common is that unlike most Chinese parents', my parents' have never pressured me in doing something I don't want or to become someone I'm not, nor do they ever try to influence my own interests. As a result, the things that I have an interests for varies a lot since my childhood, but none of them eventually became my aspiration.

After the first time the question, "what is truly my dream", burst upon me, I went to ask my parents what their goals were when they were young. When they both answered flatly that it was to be a person that is valuable to society, I did not understand what they really meant by that. For me, a dream has to include something very splendid - at least mine at that time was to win a Nobel price. But as I grew up, I witnessed my parents' long working hours and still live a happy and positive life, and also how proud and happy they were to be able to help their colleagues and neighbors when problems occurred. As time went by, I even remember my father being awarded due to his contributions, and my mother who became elite in her company and received her MBA degree abroad.

What I learned from my parents' attitude towards life is to love your family, always be ready to help others and have an optimistic attitude. The pride they have towards every project they have done is being responsible and confident about their work, the same we should all have. Even my Chinese name, which was given by my parents', has such a modest meaning, "like water." It was derived from a Chinese old saying, "The best of man is like water, which benefits all things but strives for nothing."

All of these behaviors and accomplishments really influenced my personality without even noticing. Being aware of your dream is something that should reflect on what benefits you can make for other people, and no matter how big the dream is it has to be achieved gradually step by step. I realized that the fulfillment I gain by giving other people a hand and doing volunteer work is something that makes me extremely happy and content. In the depth of my heart, my dream has slowly changed from being a scientist into being someone who contributes to his or her community in any way, shape or form.

Though I am just an ordinary girl who comes from an ordinary Chinese family, I am always proud of the advice and the life my parents' have given me. Whatever I become in the future I just want to make sure I give back to this world for what it has given to me. My ideal might sound simple, but it is what supports me in being the person I am today.
Oct 22, 2014
Undergraduate / I grew up to become an adolescent who had fallen deeply in love with science - Reasons & Objectives [3]

Hi Marky8, to be honest, you did a really good job on your essay! Your language is great and the content of your essay totally answered the prompt properly . However, in the first paragraph, I can't really see how did your parents' love make you interest in the field of science. I think it will be even better if you could make the relationship a little bit clearer. I love your first sentence anyways :)
Oct 20, 2014
Undergraduate / 'Outside is cold and dry' - Common App Essay - childhood to adulthood transformation [3]

I've been revised it only three times but I just couldn't make it looks better :(((((((
Please take a look at it and ANY comments or criticisms are welcomed!!!!
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PROMPT: Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

Outside is cold and dry. I am sitting in a warm and snag room and mustering up my courage to write the application essay to the American University. This weather reminds me of two years ago at this time; I was standing in the chill wind of Calgary's unbearable bitter winter morning and waiting for the early bus to go to The Chinese Academic of Alberta, the Chinese school that I volunteered for. Although the work was not easy, but what this volunteer job offered me is something that cannot be superseded.

I witnessed almost two years of winter in Calgary during my three years in Canada. What I had to do at that time was arrive at the school before nine o'clock in the morning every Saturday. Since I only lived with my mother in the foreign country, the chances of go to school by car for me was very limited. Therefore, every weekend, it took me at least 2 hours to get to the school by bus. At the beginning I almost gave up this volunteering job because I really felt that it did not worth my efforts - I had to force myself leave the bed and struggle with the harsh winter for the most time of the year. Every time I woke up I had to find some reasons to support myself. For instance, there was still a child who had not remembered the word "oxygen" yet - although I had already taught him the word for three weeks. Just like that, two months later not only that child finally remember the "oxygen" word and got the meaning of it, it was also a miracle that I began to treat this work as a routine. Granted that sometime I still felt a little bit of tired, the smiling faces and the aspirations to fresh knowledge of my students would eventually cheered me up and strengthen me.

My mom keeps telling me that truly grown-up must have the sense of responsibility, but I was confused - isn't it the same as determination? However, I sort of understand the subtle difference between these two, and this is also one of the things that my one and half years experiment taught me. For me, responsibility is the perseverance with the investment of one's true heart and feelings. Every weekend I had to face a same group of people and deal with a same kind of works; even my students' complaints over their classmates were all much of a muchness. But the teachers were waiting for my assistance, my students were eager for my advices and help. I have responsibility for them. Once I start doing something, it means that I have to be conscientious in my work. Whatever the work is, and no matter how boring or arduous it is.

Actually I was a completely different person before I went to Canada. Before went through the baptism of my volunteering experiment I was a kind of person who let the grass grow under my feet and lack of enterprising spirit. But right now, for example, instead of give up the courses that I don't understand, I will teach myself after class and ask teachers questions; always be positive and serious about my club's activities even there were only five people at the first.

Those words, persistence, responsibility, and patience, are not just some abstract concepts to me anymore; they has become parts of me. Although I might not be a strong and firm grown-up just yet, I am already a young adult bearing a sense of duty. No give up halfway, no complaints about the difficulties, I know lucidly that there is no reason for stop after you began something. These changes on me will arm me and help me face the next challenge in the unknown future.