Unanswered [10] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by tranhm
Name: Hanh Tran
Joined: Oct 25, 2014
Last Post: Nov 18, 2014
Threads: 3
Posts: 7  
Likes: 1
From: USA

Displayed posts: 10
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tranhm   
Nov 18, 2014
Undergraduate / how a motto can effect you [3]

I think you can put the conclusion as the introduction. It would make your essay more interesting. Then, you can talk about your identity and how it shaped you by giving examples in your life using this motto.

Here's another approach, in your first paragraph about the test, I wanted to know if you got the best grade in class that day or not. I wanted to know about your achievements in that paragraph. Then, maybe you can keep the rest of the paragraph the same or talking more about your identity in the school and how the motto shaped you.
tranhm   
Nov 10, 2014
Graduate / I am committed to helping children transition into their next life stage - Statement of Intent [4]

Can you please give me a rating, on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the best)? Personally, in this intent, I'm trying to express my career purpose, my interest, highlight my work experience, and the reason I'd like to attend this university. Lmk if this is all clear or too much, please. Thanks for your time!

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The milestone typically seen in normal speech development are when babies coo or babble in the first year of their lives. However, when a speech-language problem is present in a child such as playing appropriately with toys, it can disrupt them from moving smoothly into their next life stage of everyday social communication with their peers. In my job, I am committed to helping children transition into their next life stage whether learning first words or helping them to have basic functional communication with their parents. While my skills are strong, I know that there will be more complicated speech-language cases in my career. Resolving to help children and their families by being more equipped is my motivation for applying to your graduate school program.

At The University of Texas at Austin, I took a course called CSD 317M Communication with the Multi-Disabled that awakened me to disabilities related to speech and language. For one assignment, students were asked to write from the perspective of a person with a disability and how the person would feel about walking around the campus. I took the perspective of a visually impaired person and imagined the challenge of walking across the street of an intersection. I became aware of the importance of accessibility and empathized how the quality of life for a person can be so easy for me, but difficult for another person. In particular, I became interested in working with children, and helping them from the beginning of their lives for them to become successful in life no matter their disability.

At present, I am a speech language pathologist-assistant at Resource Therapy Center. I plan over 24 sessions with patients on a weekly basis from the Spanish-English bilingual community in Pasadena, TX in a clinical setting. My most interesting case is addressing the needs of a 3-year-old boy that had moderate to severe speech impairment, a language delay, and attention deficits. My treatment plan with my supervisor included play therapy, multiple cuing, and behavior shaping tactics. The child was resistant at first, but over the following months, he showed more improvement in following directions, naming body parts, and producing basic approximations. After a year of speech therapy, he is now enrolled in a preschool for two days a week. His mother reports progress that he is paying attention more in school and is more focused. I believe that my professional experience in working with children like him, however I know that the graduate course offerings at your university will take me to the next level in helping more children like this young boy.

At your university, I am interested in the feeding and swallowing courses and the early childhood development classes. These classes will help me to achieve my goal of becoming a Speech and Language Pathologist in the medical settings and in early childhood education settings. Being given this opportunity at your school will enable me to meet a profound need in preparing children for their next life stages.

Word count: 499
tranhm   
Nov 10, 2014
Graduate / Prince of Qatar Anecdote- An International experience essay for Foster Bschool [8]

Interesting take and viewpoint! I think you did a good job elaborating and expressing your thoughts about your meeting with the Prince of Qatar. I think your writing tone is profound and reflective of the qualities you can offer to the Foster Bschool. Your tone gives me the impression that you are a mature and respectful person in regards to international business and more. From reading this essay, sounds like you'd be a great team player and leader.

I'm not able to give very much constructive feedback at this time, but on a scale of 1-10 for writing (10 being the best), I'd give it a 9. So, you are definitely on the right track.
tranhm   
Nov 8, 2014
Graduate / Life stages are a natural part of life - Statement of Intent; Speech Pathology MA [3]

I appreciate your feedback! It is very helpful. Here is my latest draft:

The milestone typically seen in normal speech development are when babies coo or babble in the first year of their lives. However, when a speech-language problem is present in a child such as playing appropriately with toys, it can disrupt them from moving smoothly into their next life stage of everyday social communication with their peers. In my job, I am committed to helping children transition into their next life stage whether learning first words or helping them to have basic functional communication with their parents. While my skills are strong, I know that there will be more complicated speech-language cases in my career. Resolving to help children and their families by being more equipped is my motivation for applying to your graduate school program.

At The University of Texas at Austin, I took a course called CSD 317M Communication with the Multi-Disabled that awakened me to disabilities related to speech and language. For one assignment, students were asked to write from the perspective of a person with a disability and how the person would feel about walking around the campus. I took the perspective of a visually impaired person and imagined the challenge of walking across the street of an intersection. I became aware of the importance of accessibility and empathized how the quality of life for a person can be so easy for me, but difficult for another person. In particular, I became interested in working with children, and helping them from the beginning of their lives for them to become successful in life no matter their disability.

At present, I am a speech language pathologist-assistant at Resource Therapy Center. I plan over 24 sessions with patients on a weekly basis from the Spanish-English bilingual community in Pasadena, TX in a clinical setting. My most interesting case is addressing the needs of a 3-year-old boy that had moderate to severe speech impairment, a language delay, and attention deficits. My treatment plan with my supervisor included play therapy, multiple cuing, and behavior shaping tactics. The child was resistant at first, but over the following months, he showed more improvement in following directions, naming body parts, and producing basic approximations. After a year of speech therapy, he is now enrolled in a preschool for two days a week. His mother reports progress that he is paying attention more in school and is more focused. I believe that my professional experience in working with children like him, however I know that the graduate course offerings at your university will take me to the next level in helping more children like this young boy.

At your university, I am interested in the feeding and swallowing courses and the early childhood development classes. These classes will help me to achieve my goal of becoming a Speech and Language Pathologist in the medical settings and in early childhood education settings. Being given this opportunity at your school will enable me to meet a profound need in preparing children for their next life stages.

Word count: 499
tranhm   
Nov 4, 2014
Graduate / Life stages are a natural part of life - Statement of Intent; Speech Pathology MA [3]

Can you please give me a rating, on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the best)? Personally, in this intent, I'm trying to express my career purpose, my interest, highlight my work experience, and the reason I'd like to attend this university.Lmk if this is all clear or too much, please. Thanks for your time!

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Life stages are a natural part of life. Preparing for change and adapting to life stages happen everyday for the young and old. As a professional in the speech language pathology field, I am applying to your graduate school program to answer a call to help families prepare their children in these life stages such as gaining a healthy weight in feeding or getting a child prepared for an early childhood learning facility. I am motivated to help transition children for the next step of their lives. I am a great candidate for your university because of my extensive work experience, my educational background, and my determination to see a child become successful in life.

[...]
tranhm   
Oct 26, 2014
Undergraduate / I had the opportunity to watch a close friend of mine read her acceptance letter from Northwestern [5]

Here are a few edits that I made. I just took out a few words. Some sentences repeated itself a little bit, so I combined them. Hope this helps a little bit. You might want to practice reading it aloud to yourself to see if the message says everything you want to say.

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Four years ago, I had the opportunity to watch a close friend of mine read her acceptance letter from Northwestern University for the Bien School of Music. Having the same admiration we have for Northwestern University and sharing in her joy of the moment, we understood that this was a life changing moment for her. Although my interests lie in the McCormick School of Engineering, I believe that Northwestern University is a top school that offers a diverse community, an accomplished staff, and an adept D1 athletic program - qualities like exposing students to real life applications as well as offering countless interns and job opportunities really sets Northwestern apart in my eyes. *It is the perfect school because of the it is within driving distance of beautiful cities and the great city of Chicago.

The first thing that attracts me to the School of Engineering is their nationally and internationally recognized Design, Thinking and Communications class. This is a first rate course that is focused on giving students a real world, hands on experience. Helping me develop communication and problem solving skills through application submitted by real clients will undoubtedly become an invaluable experience that no other university can offer. Reading on how Sam Malin and other alumni have helped the community through projects such as developing prosthetic fitting solutions and designing low cost ventilation systems has inspired me to become a Northwestern engineer. I hope in the future I can take advantage of this opportunity to advance my intellectual prowess whilst solving some of the many dilemmas in society today.

Being such a prestigious university, Northwestern competes alongside other top colleges in America. However, being a McCormick engineer would help to set me apart and give me invaluable experience and expose me to numerous internship and job opportunities. These are among the reasons why I've decided to make Northwestern my number one.
tranhm   
Oct 26, 2014
Graduate / My test taking skills improved after I discovered my calling for the Speech Language Pathology field [3]

For me to improve, please give me a rating. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the best), what rating would you give me? Please include any areas I should improve on too, and if I should elaborate or if anything is not clear, ok? Thank you so much!

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To the Admission Committee:

It is my strong and genuine desire to be granted admission to the graduate program in Speech and Language Pathology with a specialization in Feeding and Swallowing at the University of Northern Colorado. I am a well-rounded, enthusiastic, and motivated Asian woman seeking to further her development as a professional and as an individual, and a fantastic candidate for this program because of my educational, research, teaching, and leadership background, a passion that stems from a true calling for service, and desire to improve the lives of others in need.

After high school, I pursued a college education at The University of Texas at Austin, where I had the life changing opportunity to tutor students in after-school programs. Tri-lingual in English, Spanish, and Vietnamese, I tutored the children in different languages with their homework. This experience enhanced my desire for understanding children, and created in me an awareness of the importance of being able to communicate with others. Concurrently, I took a course called CSD 317M Communication with the Multi-Disabled that taught me about difficulties that can happen at birth that affects speech and language such as developmental delays. This experience oriented me in my decision to work with newborns and to see them through life for early childhood development in preparing them for everyday communication, school, and their adult lives.

At present, I am a speech language pathologist-assistant at Resource Therapy Center. I plan over 24 sessions with patients on a weekly basis from the Spanish-English bilingual community in Pasadena, TX in a clinical setting. My most interesting case is addressing the needs of a student that was born with a cleft palate and another student that shows symptoms of Childhood Apraxia of Speech (CAS). Working with these two students allowed me to use Kaufman Speech Praxis Materials to address their speech language goals, and helped me to become interested in feeding and swallowing in children from birth and how it effects speech and language later in life.

The quality of instruction at your university will help me to achieve my goal of becoming a valuable Speech and Language Pathologist in the medical setting and early childhood education. Being given this educational opportunity will enable me to meet a profound need in preparing these children for communication in their life, school, and family for them to function and grow into their adult lives.

Although my grades were not strong in my early years of college, my study skills and my test taking skills improved after I discovered my calling for the Speech Language Pathology field. I paid attention to the details more in my studies, and I had a greater sense of urgency when tackling my courses. The urgency was motivated by the fact that I can help another person. Once accepted into your program, I will be committed and dedicated to making the most of every opportunity that is given to me for the greater good of others.
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