Posts by tiffatiger

tiffatiger

Oct 26, 2014

Undergraduate / Another cool summer night in Hobi - common app [5]

I just wanted to say thank you for leaving a suggestion for my supplemental essay. This may seem really random and unnecessary, but I'm Taiwanese too! However I did not have the opportunity to grow up in Taiwan as I was born here.

This is a wonderful essay!

Make sure you change elders preforming to performing .
I also don't know if you should add Northwestern to the end of your common app, as I feel that the college essay shouldn't really be based on how you much you want to go to a specific college such as that one (since there will be other colleges reading your essay) and that what should be stressed is about YOU (which your essay did very well.)

tiffatiger

Oct 26, 2014

Undergraduate / I had the opportunity to watch a close friend of mine read her acceptance letter from Northwestern [5]

This is a well written essay, but I need to point out a few errors!
h igh school
School of E ngineering
However, the real world experience McCormick exposes the students too , alongside numerous interns and job opportunities that awaits a Northwestern engineer, is invaluable.

Perhaps to shorten your essay you can combine your two "real world experience" sentences. Since you also compare Northwestern to other universities in your body paragraph, you can join the two to make a stronger conclusion.

tiffatiger

Oct 26, 2014

Undergraduate / I have always had a fear of not being able to fit in - connection to place essay [3]

I actually had a different idea at first, and due to your comment I have written a different introduction:
When you've lived in the city your entire life, you don't exactly have many opportunities to be the outdoorsy, adventurous type. However, trying new possibilities and being out in nature is something I feel passionate about, so I decided to join a group called Venture Crew. Taking on this opportunity has truly made me feel like a different person. I have rearranged the order of what is important to me, as I prioritize bonding with friends, gaining confidence, and trying to find a sense of who I really am.

I hope this can clarify, but I'm not entirely sure :x

tiffatiger

Oct 26, 2014

Undergraduate / I have always had a fear of not being able to fit in - connection to place essay [3]

Bowdoin's supplement calls for:
In an effort to understand your interests and aspirations for college, we ask you to select one of the three topics below and provide a response of up to 250 words.

Bowdoin students and alumni often cite world-class faculty and opportunities for intellectual engagement, the College's commitment to the Common Good, and the special quality of life on the coast of Maine as important aspects of the Bowdoin experience.

It took me months to decide which topic to choose and what to write... and I have finally finished my first draft days before the deadline.

I am not completely happy with my essay - it would be really great if anyone here could give me any suggestions on how to make it better. Thank you so much!

Here's my essay (exactly 250 max words):
I actually brainstormed my ending first, then beginning, and then the body. I feel as though my ending is pretty strong but it is VERY wordy: so I would really appreciate any comments about that.

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I have always had a fear of not being able to fit in. I am often very afraid of putting myself out there. Last year, I stepped outside my comfort zone and joined a group called Venture Crew. Initially, I felt as if I did not fit in but later realized that this fear of mine was a result of thinking too much. When you overthink, your mind goes astray; you see what is wrong instead of what is right. Being in Venture Crew has made this perspective so much clearer.

Discovering the Outing Club in Bowdoin and visualizing a myriad of activities brings back a nostalgic feeling of the camping trip in Wildwood State Park. Suddenly I can picture myself once again hiking through the trails overlooking the cliffs to the beach, getting lost as the path grew narrower and narrower until it had soon disappeared. After taking a detour, we found the beach, finally, with the sunset creeping over the horizon. We laid together until dark, singing songs, laughing and smiling so hard until our faces could no longer bear it.

When I envision myself in Bowdoin, whether I am participating in something as adventurous as rafting through the waters of a beautiful lake in Maine, or something as warm and fuzzy as huddling with friends around the midst of a toasty campfire, or even something as simple as taking a deep breath of the fresh, crispy air, I know that there is no place I'd rather be.