Undergraduate / I am not asking for a mansion on the beach or a Lamborghini - my future life [3]

Essay Topic
We often hear the phrase 'the good life'. In fact, the University of Florida's common course required of all undergraduate students is titled "What is the Good Life?". The concept of 'the good life' can be interpreted in many different ways depending upon the experiences, values and aspirations of each individual.

In a concise narrative, describe your notion of 'the good life'. How will your undergraduate experience at the University of Florida prepare you to live 'the good life'?

Please feel free to be harsh and nitpicky and PS ITS DUE TONIGHT!

Just like a little girl planning her perfect vision of wedding, I have planned out how I would like my whole life to fall into place. I have imagined being a mom 2 amazing children, a loving best friend/husband, and a stable job that will provide everything and more to my family, this is my notion of 'the good life'. My undergraduate experience at the University of Florida will set me up to be financially stable and allow me to venture out and build new relationships with professors, students, and other people I meet along the road.

I am a currently an intern in the Neurological Progressive Care unit at (Hospital Name) in (City). In my experience at the hospital I have created relationships with patients, nurses, and other staff members that have changed my life. Not only am I preparing for my future career, but I am learning how to become a better person. The patients I come into contact with will sometimes have traumatic stories, funny stories or inspirational stories and every time I meet a new patient and learn their story, I develop a new level of compassion. A type of compassion that will teach me how to be an incredible wife and a loving mother. At the University of Florida I will meet all types of new people that will prepare me for the future and to live the good life.

I am not asking for a mansion on the beach or a Lamborghini. They may be nice luxurious items to have but they are not required for my vision of "the good life". All I want is to grow up and have a happy family and stable career. My undergraduate experience at the university will prepare me to find a job I love and help build the relationships I need in order to prepare myself for family life. Learning life lessons that are comparable to receiving a quality education, that is what will prepare me for "the good life".

Undergraduate / I am a level 5 cheerleader - UF Student Resume [2]

Basically this is a rough draft of my student resume, can you please help me revise it and fix any errors? Thanks! P.S. I know some numbers/words are missing and I rewrote the questions in my own words.

2. Extracurriculars including position, hours contributed a week, and description of the activity.
I am a level 5 cheerleader, the highest level of cheerleading, at one of the most prestigious cheerleading gyms in the world, The California Allstars. My team and I work together at least 6 hours each week perfecting our routine for several competitions throughout the year. Additionally, I am a dancer at my high school. My dance team performs in parades, pep rallies, concerts, halftime shows, and even charity events. We spend anywhere from five to twelve hours a week dancing, depending on practices, rehearsals, and performances. At my school I am in my second year of ASB and Key Club. I devote 5 hours towards ASB activities and I am currently the prom commissioner in ASB. I am in charge of planning the entire dance and making sure it is successful. Last year I was editor in Key Club and am now the Vice President. I assist the President in running meetings and spend at least an hour, typically more, towards Key Club functions.

3. Community service. List of activity, role, and level of responsibility.
In the summer of 2013 I volunteered at a vacation bible school to set up the venue, served as a bible leader, and even played in a role a bible story play. I volunteered over 20 hours for one week and it was one of the most memorable experiences of my life. I have also participated in several different runs such as Finish Chelsea's Run, AIDS walk/run, and Undy 5000 Run. For the Finish Chelsea's Run I was responsible for handing our sunflower stickers, Chelsea's favorite flower. Chelsea King was a teenager who was killed while running near a lake in my hometown. For the AIDS walk/run I was stationed along the route and helped find the participants find their way towards the finish line. I had a close friend of mine's mother pass away from colon cancer and decided to volunteer for the Undy 5000 Run to help encourage the participants to finish the run.

4. Honors, awards, and recognitions. List each and describe the level and years of involvement.
At the end of my junior year I was a GPA award winner, awarded to students who recieve at least a 3.5 GPA, for my first year involved in the (High School Name) High School Music Department. In both semesters of my freshman year I was on the Golden Eagle honor roll which is rewarded for for students with GPA's ranging from a 3.0 through a 3.49. For the second semester of my sophomore year I was awarded for the Assistant Principal's honor roll which is for students with a 3.5 through a 3.99. In both semesters of my junior year, I was on the Principal's honor roll which is for students that have a 4.0 and above, additionally, I received the President's Award for Educational Excellence in recognition of Outstanding Academic Excellence.

6. Employment. List and describe the job(s) you've had, including dates of employment, job titles, and hours worked each week.
I am currently an intern at (Hospital Name) Medical Center and I assist the nursing staff to fulfill the patients personal and medical needs. The internship requires you to work at least a 4 hour shift each week and I started the internship in June 2014 and plan to stay in the internship through May 2015.

7. Describing an experience where I've solved a Problem benefiting myself and others and what made it enjoyable.
For my school's homecoming this year, our venue fell through a couple months before the event. Everyone was rushing to find a venue and I had an idea; we should have homecoming at our school. At first people were extremely opposed to the idea of having homecoming at our school, but I explained we could save money and even make a profit by hosting our own homecoming. Eventually people accepted that it was a good idea and when the day came around people claimed it was funnest homecoming they ever attended. We also made over $11,000 from homecoming which all comes back to ASB to help put on other events. Overall, it was a rewarding feeling when students said they had a blast at homecoming and when ASB raised a large amount of money for the remainder of the year.