Essay Topic
We often hear the phrase 'the good life'. In fact, the University of Florida's common course required of all undergraduate students is titled "What is the Good Life?". The concept of 'the good life' can be interpreted in many different ways depending upon the experiences, values and aspirations of each individual.
In a concise narrative, describe your notion of 'the good life'. How will your undergraduate experience at the University of Florida prepare you to live 'the good life'?
Please feel free to be harsh and nitpicky and PS ITS DUE TONIGHT!
Just like a little girl planning her perfect vision of wedding, I have planned out how I would like my whole life to fall into place. I have imagined being a mom 2 amazing children, a loving best friend/husband, and a stable job that will provide everything and more to my family, this is my notion of 'the good life'. My undergraduate experience at the University of Florida will set me up to be financially stable and allow me to venture out and build new relationships with professors, students, and other people I meet along the road.
I am a currently an intern in the Neurological Progressive Care unit at (Hospital Name) in (City). In my experience at the hospital I have created relationships with patients, nurses, and other staff members that have changed my life. Not only am I preparing for my future career, but I am learning how to become a better person. The patients I come into contact with will sometimes have traumatic stories, funny stories or inspirational stories and every time I meet a new patient and learn their story, I develop a new level of compassion. A type of compassion that will teach me how to be an incredible wife and a loving mother. At the University of Florida I will meet all types of new people that will prepare me for the future and to live the good life.
I am not asking for a mansion on the beach or a Lamborghini. They may be nice luxurious items to have but they are not required for my vision of "the good life". All I want is to grow up and have a happy family and stable career. My undergraduate experience at the university will prepare me to find a job I love and help build the relationships I need in order to prepare myself for family life. Learning life lessons that are comparable to receiving a quality education, that is what will prepare me for "the good life".
I think your paper lacks organization and I don't believe you thoroughly answered the prompt. You make really abrupt transitions from your definition of 'the good life' to portions about how the University of Miami will help you. Plus, the third paragraph seems irrelevant to the question at hand. You conclusion is nice, but I feel like the rest of the essay doesn't clearly support the conclusion.
Maybe outline the paper like this:
Your definition of 'the good life'
Maybe talk about how your childhood has influenced your desire to start a family etc.
How the University of Miami will enable you to fulfill your definition of 'the good life'
Conclusion
Hi Malicia:
Here is my suggestions.
The patients I come into contact with will sometimes have traumatic stories, funny stories or inspirational stories and every time I meet a new patients and learn from their story, I develop a new level of compassion.
