Writing Feedback / IEITS-It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they are not happy. [7]

Hi Wilson
When I tried to load the revision on this server the colors did not show so I revised your writing showing only the recommended
changes. I recommend that you focus your writing and simplify your sentences because its easer to get you meaning across to your reader. If you are doing an IELTS you will be require to do two writing assignments, one being an essay topic (like this) and the

other a presentation of technical information of about 250 words, if I remember correctly. I have a lot of experience with the IELTS exams, if I can help let me know on Skype.

Writing Feedback / IEITS-It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they are not happy. [7]

It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they are not happy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Are people now paying more attention to their inner individual job satisfaction? Some people contend that they would rather give up their job than be employed if they cannot get pleasure from the job. From my perspective, I disagree with the idea that individuals prefer unemployment just because they have very little job satisfaction

As an individual, working is necessary for economy survival and as a functioning member of society.. Without a job, one can hardly meet the basic needs for his or her daily life because of lacking money, it can be depressing to work at a job that does not provide any satisfaction, so do we have any options?, We could have a constructive conversation with our boss about transferring to another department or request to be given more job responsibilities which would provide the opportunity to develop additional job skills. Trying to get well known by our colleagues and establishing social contacts within the company is also a method of increasing job related satisfaction. .

Meanwhile, the argument that quitting a job will solve the problem is totally neglects the long-term consequences it would generate., If we are not employed then what useful things can we achieve with our free time? Time has a great value and while we are wasting our time other people are using their time wisely and moving forward while. Perhaps this is not your dream job but your attitude at work plays an important role in your productivity and job performance. A positive attitude is necessary for your success at work, while a negative attitude is counter-productive. Therefore, if you do not have a positive attitude towards work, you may want to consider an attitude change in order to improve your work experience. Accept the fact that certain tasks associated with your job may be less fulfilling than others and recognize that a lack of motivation does not mean that you cannot complete your tasks. Rather, it means that you would prefer not to.To conclude, it is not a wise choice to be unemployed even the job is not the exactly kind we want. At least, we cannot survive without a job.

To Wilsonank.I hope your don't mind but I have taken the liberty of vetting you essay. I recommend that you remove what is bolded in red and replace it with what is shown in yellow. When we write its best to keep it simple and more to the point,

Essays / Killing Abortion - how to write this essay? [2]

Hi Miranda.
Since there is nothing to feedback on may I offer a few general rules of academic writing. As you probably know your writing frame consist of an introduction, body, conclusion and references. In the introduction state the topic of your essay "This essay will examine the effects (what kind of effect physical, mental, both?) on women. How are you going to write? Informative, argumentative, cause and effect, comparison and contrast? State your opinion of the subject. In the body discuss such questions and why do women abort, is it medical, physical, emotional or simply a form of birth controlee? What about the ethical and moral arguments concerning abortion, if you abort do you rob the world of a great mind, considering Leonardo da Vinci was illegitimate, but If you do not abort what effects may this have on your future from the aspects of relationships, education and so on?. In the conclusion summarize your main arguments, make an observation or recommendation and leave your readers with a question to think about. I hope that this is of some value and please contact me if you have any questions. Thanks. Roger Bishop

Writing Feedback / Tragic decrease in the life quality in many major cities; Causes, solutions for poor living standard [2]

Hi Van.
You need to focus your writing frame. In the introduction restate the question and tell the readers how you are going to write; informative, argumentative, cause and effect or comparison and contrast. In the body you talk about air pollution and then gas omissions, they are the same. Granted air, water and land pollution are important but expand on what you mean when you say basic necessities, provide a couple of examples. In you conclusion summarize the main point of you argument provided in the body, make a comment or observation and leave the reader with a question to think about. How many words are you writing and what is it for?