Posts by elsten123

elsten123

Dec 11, 2014

Writing Feedback / What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars? - IELTS [3]

Nice work, dear friend.
the structure is wonderful, while some words need to be replaced i guess. here it is.

"big traffic jams do happen" maybe u can replace it with "terrible", the previous one is used in oral.

"As for what the government can help to reduce the frequent rate of traffic jams" →do

"For example, the government can replan the transportation routes, making the roads and land more useful, matching citizen's expectation such as adding new roads, taking off abandoned ones." →

"For example, the government can replan the transportation routes, make the roads and land more useful, satisfy citizen's expectation such as adding new roads and take off abandoned ones." the verbs have the same subject and copula.

"if the government takes proper policies to replan its urban outlay" → reallocate

after all, your passage is really good. have a good time.

elsten123

Dec 11, 2014

Writing Feedback / IELTS - Satisfaction is no longer guaranteed by just simply adequate salaries [6]

Thank you so much about your modification. To be honest, i had actually no idea when i read the question and it costed me 100min at least...what a shame%>_<%...

i may explain two of your remarks.

"To my view-point, dividing this psychological achievement" the subject is right after this sentence, "I". i think it's a non-predicate structure.

The paragraph 3 is to explain the unrealistc of job satisfaction assessment.

As to the other remarks, i totally agree with u. and i even don't know,at present, what this question requires and what to write.

If it is not the category i should write about, what should i do with the first quetion "What factors contribute to job satisfaction?"

Thanks again, dear Moonvlin

elsten123

Dec 9, 2014

Writing Feedback / IELTS - Satisfaction is no longer guaranteed by just simply adequate salaries [6]

Question:
As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well being.
What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

Contents:
Along with the achievement of well-off stage in many developing countries, what comes to become the considerable factor towards well being is no longer simply adequate salaries, but job satisfactory. To my view-point, dividing this psychological achievement into at least three parts, I still grasp a conservative attitude towards the feasibility of job satisfaction assessment to everyone.

According to recent research, some specialists category the job satisfaction into three groups, success, facility and interpersonal relationship. First of foremost, the satisfaction brought by success is a basic aspect that evaluates the well being level. Definitely, not only can the success of a program bring considerable commercial profits, but also help to develop a sense of achievement and self-respect. Secondly, we can easily predict their hardship even nearly inevitable failure without matched work devices, such as computers to an IT engineering or vehicle to a marketing manager. At last, the interpersonal relationship also influences the job satisfaction. Especially the relations between boss and employees or between colleagues. It is hard to imagine that a capable worker can stand their harsh cold boss without any respect or mercy received and would regard himself or herself as well being. Standing on these analysis, assessment of job satisfaction can be draw from those three factors.

However, It is really hard to make these evaluation if more consideration have been taken into the problem of proportion. We will presume this circumstance, when compare a capable and hardworking manager, earning 30,000 EUROs per year with a vehicle but having a poor relationship with family and friends, with a low-salary farmer who possesses a small farm but big happy family, the question would be raised that how to calculate the exact number and proportion of these three factors. The assessment of job satisfaction can only be one part of the reasonable sectors the managers and workers should consider, instead of all parts.

In the final analysis, while it stands to reason to state that the three factors of job satisfaction have been taken into consideration for more people, more focus should be given to their true characteristics of individual. It is too complicated to calculate for all working people.

Darcy

P.S. Dear friends, I'll be truly grateful for any advice or correction.