Posts by somasalims

somasalims

Mar 4, 2015

Writing Feedback / Comparison of the changes of three main exports in Southland - IELTS [4]

The bar chart compares the changes of three main exports in Southland between 2000, 2015, and prediction for 2025. It is measured in billion pound sterling. It is noticeable that there is an increase in total off main exports from 2000 to 2015 whilst 2025 will witness a slight fall of the exports.

International tourism and dairy products experience a rise in 2015 compared in 2000. By 2000, the amount of international tourism had stood at roughly £8 billion, while approximately £7 billion were shown by which of dairy products.

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Southland main export in 2000, 2015, and 2025

somasalims

Dec 23, 2015

Writing Feedback / Handwriting errors, undermined writing skills - these are effects of using computers and smartphones [2]

I suggest you to upload the question of this writing task 2, so we can see whether it answers the question or not. However, I will give you some grammatical correction below.

uU tilizing new technology such as smart phones ...

~~Yet~~However(I think it is inappropriate to use 'yet' at the beginning of sentence, it is better to use 'However' to state a contradiction) , there is a question as to whether ...

There are a number of proofs that substantiate using computer and smarts phone to(you should add 'to' here because if you do not, there will be two verbs for this sentence/double verb) improve writing and reading skills.

However, although utilizing modern technology such as computer and cellular phones ~~are~~is(It should be 'is' because the subject of this sentence is 'utilizing modern technology') more likely to ...

As a result, handwriting might be in extreme danger of extinction. Furthermore, the absence of this device~~, it~~ can trigger embarrassment among writers because they ...

Overall, it is a good writing, but you have to be more careful with you grammar.