Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Kaella
Joined: Jul 2, 2009		 Last Post: Jul 4, 2009
Threads: 1
Posts: 4  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 5
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
Kaella   
Jul 4, 2009
Writing Feedback / GRE analytical writing ..TOPIC (preservation on endangered species) [7]

For the GRE, you must also pay attention to your punctuation, grammar, etc. They will let a few minor errors slip by, but if too many "minor errors" are present, you will lose a point. Make sure you always have a space after a (.)period. Do not use a space before a (,)comma. Capitalize the first letter of a new sentence. Use a (,)comma after the phrase "for example."

You do need to pay attention to Simone's advice too. I edited this to give you an idea of how to better use your grammar, punctuation etc. I did not edit your argument.

"The speaker asserts over the period of time many species have become extinct and Wewe should not make extraordinary efforts and spend any major resources for saving these species. In my point of view the author is right but there are certain points whichthat needs to be considered before making any conclusion about where and how much human effortsareis required for the preservation of endangered species.

Our society is already facing many problems today which needs immediate
attention . Ff or example,problem of hunger problemsand diseases, which isare very visible and takinge many human lives today hasve more importance thenthan thinking about other species. Tt hese problems should be given prioritiesy in terms of resources ,

so that we can make the world a better place (for the?) of human species at least.
The problems related to human survival should take more precedence then any other species.

Although there are many species whichthat are dying because of natural process, the human race is also responsible for some of thesethis . TheKk illing of manymuch marine and wild life for their skin or other valuable products from their bodies can not (cannot should be one word) be termed as a natural process. We need to take steps to stop poaching and killing, which isare products of human greed rather then nature. For example,Ll ions are killed for skin ,and elephants are killed for their precious teeth. These kinds of atrocities on animals can be restricted by very minimal efforts and do not require large resources. We can curb these by creating more sanctuaries and making stringent laws against such actions.

Many species are required to maintain the balance of life-cycle. althoughtT here are other purposes that some animals and species serves in social and spiritual contexts . For example,the national animal of many countries are species ,whichthat are symbols of prestige. Many species have religionsreligious feelings attached to them by societies. For example,the cow is considered as holy isby many communities in India. sS o,forfrom spiritual and social points of view, we need certain steps into savinge some of the species.

In conclusion , I agree that we need to set our priorities for utilization of resources and make them more available for human species , but we also tend to care for other species whichthat are becoming targets of our greed and not dying because of natural process. We can notcannot afford extraordinary efforts but at least we can do whatever is feasible and make other species survive too."
Kaella   
Jul 4, 2009
Graduate / Advice Needed: Letter of Intent for Public Administration (MPA) admission [5]

There was no good reason for leaving out the inspirational nonprofit. I have changed that. As for what line of work, I do not feel that I can answer that more specifically. I am basically interested in finding a job that I feel helps other people and makes a difference in the world. I'm not too picky as to whether that will be through housing, health care, education, or any other such field. Perhaps I could explain that better in my essay? I'm just stuck on how.

I also got feedback from a family member who feels that I try to write too complex of sentences ("too many commas") and it is confusing. If I could get some feedback here on that too, I would appreciate it.
Kaella   
Jul 2, 2009
Graduate / Advice Needed: Letter of Intent for Public Administration (MPA) admission [5]

Will you please review the current draft of my letter of intent for admission into a Master of Public Administration program? Here is the prompt: "Letter of Intent: In two pages or less, explain why you are seeking an MPA degree, and why from KSU"

"MPA Letter of Intent

Nearing the end of my undergraduate career, I attended a presentation given by Invisible Children, a nonprofit agency that has grown over the course of a few years into an internationally supported group that organizes thousands of volunteers. This presentation had a profound influence on my life. I was inspired by Invisible Children's success, which I believe strongly correlates to the passion and love its employees have for their work. I discovered my own passion for the nonprofit sector that day and subsequently began to explore new educational and career possibilities. This led me to an interest in a Master of Public Administration program.

My mother is an employee of KSU, making it an admittedly obvious choice for my graduate education. However, it is K's commitment to providing access to graduate education, via the web based MPA program, that truly makes the pursuit of a Master of Public Administration degree a viable option for me. The program's National Association of Schools of Public Affairs and Administration accreditation is also a factor of great importance in my decision to apply to KSU. I want to be proud of any degree that I earn and know I have completed a program that is true to the standards of the discipline. It is this combination of K's dedication to education, unique MPA program, and national accreditation that have brought me to believe that my zeal for a field in which I can work with purpose and foster positive change can be channeled into a Master of Public Administration degree with KSU. I realize that the Public Administration program does not focus solely on the nonprofit sector, but I am confident that all the courses have relevant applications to work in the field.

I already have a great deal of experience with nonprofit organizations, through volunteering, holding leadership positions in local chapters of national nonprofit organizations, and participating in nonprofit courses and student organizations based on nonprofit management. Serving as the Vice President of University Affairs for the Student Government Association at my previous institution, I observed how a nonprofit status works in a higher education setting. I worked in teams dedicated to recruitment and fundraising for the Theta Upsilon chapter of Alpha Xi Delta (for which I served as Vice President of Public Relations), my university's chapter of American Humanics, Invisible Children's Rescue event, the National Catholic Student Coalition. I also participated in philanthropy events for The Rich Center for Autism and Potential Development Program.

Upon completion of graduate study, I hope to pursue a career with a nonprofit agency in the xxx, xx area. There are many remarkable educational, charitable, and other such nonprofit organizations in the area, of which I would be proud to be a member. With K's ninety-five percent placement rate, I am confident I would have the education and skills necessary to attain a management level position in one of these organizations. I aspire to utilize the information and abilities that are learned through K's MPA program to grow and enhance each facet of a nonprofit agency, furthering their work by introducing new ideas and programs. I look forward to the culmination of KSU's MPA program, leading into a genuinely rewarding career."
Writing
Editing Help?
✖
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳