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Posts by Dhaliwal1
Name: dhaliwal
Joined: Apr 22, 2015
Last Post: Apr 25, 2015
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: Canada

Displayed posts: 5
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Dhaliwal1   
Apr 25, 2015
Writing Feedback / Nowadays, congestion and pollution problems have become parts of a country. [4]

Plants have important role to catchabsorb carbon dioxide that is produced by many kinds ofthe vehicles.

the government make a strictcan implement regulations to pay tax where the tax is increased for people who have luxurious car

Though, I am not very perfect in writing, I find your essay well organised with little mistakes.
Dhaliwal1   
Apr 24, 2015
Writing Feedback / Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems... [2]

Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits.

Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?


In our daily life, we come across various stories about the famous personalities that reflect their fascinated lifestyle. Although, celebrities can earn an extravagant way of living, still there are several problems they have to face owing to their renowned reputation. This essay will discuss both merits and demerits of being famous before reaching a conclusion.

...
Dhaliwal1   
Apr 24, 2015
Writing Feedback / Foreign language might be an imitation of culture and fashion of another country [3]

1. Learning new language is one of most important subject that are considering both educational authority and parents.
Learning new language is considered as the most important subject by both educational authorities and parents.

2. Starting a sentence with "But" is mostly considered as a grammatical error. You can replace "but" with "however".
3. Several "impacts"
4. Lack of comma in most of the sentences .
You need to give attention towards structure of the sentence in order to achieve high score.

All the very best.
Dhaliwal1   
Apr 23, 2015
Writing Feedback / Should the high school curriculum introduce unpaid social work as a mandatory subject? [3]

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


It is suggested that high school curriculum should introduce unpaid social work as a mandatory subject. Many schools are providing the chances to the students to get aforesaid jobs, however, these are not compulsory for all students. I strongly advocate to make it must for every student to provide their free services to the community as it can help them to built their career.

Volunteer community services can help the teenagers to earn an experience that can help them in their professional life. Students can enhance their chance of employment by adding such experiences as an assets in their resume. Moreover, they can also learn some organizational skills which can help them to organize their daily routine. It will also help to inculcate certain values such as morality, punctuality and responsibility. Thus,teenagers will become aware of the wellness of their society and country.

From the point of health and fitness, social work can play an important role. As it is a common trend that most of the teenagers utilize their after school hours by browsing internet or playing video games, that give rise to certain health problems. If they use their free time in some social works, for instance by coaching young children, they can improve their mental and physical health. It will also help them to polish their own skills in their respective field of interest such as in sports, dance or painting .

In essence, adolescence is a phase of life when the mind should be kept busy unless it will create destructive ideas. The idea of making free social work a compulsory subject in high school should be welcomed for the betterment of our next generations.

Hello
I need some help in writing for IELTS exam. I have 6.5 bands in writing and overall 7.5 bands
I need minimum 7 in writing. Please help me to improve my skills to achieve 7.
Thanks in advance.

Dhaliwal1   
Apr 23, 2015
Writing Feedback / What do we need the university for? [2]

"In this last few decades" sounds odd. It should be simple as " In the last decades" or " During previous decades".
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