Undergraduate / Letter of Appeal to University of Florida (I was not approved) [3]

***I'm having trouble with a conclusion and I am not sure what a college is looking for in a letter of appeal... If you could just help me out that would be great!

My name is ******, and I have recently been informed that my application to the University of Florida was not approved. I am writing this appeal because I would like another opportunity to become a student at your university. The University of Florida was my first choice college out of those I applied to, specifically because it offers an amazing pre-medical and medical program that I feel is not surpassed by any other college in the state. If my application is appealed, I will do my best to meet and exceed the expectations required by the students attending your college.

I understand my standardized test scores are only just above the national average and I attribute this to my being homeschooled and living in a foreign country as a child. As is shown in my Advanced Placement test scores from 11th grade, when the material is available to me I am able to study and achieve my full potential; receiving a 4 in United States History and English Language and Composition, and a 5 in Spanish Language. This year I am taking five AP classes. After two years of high school in the Dominican Republic, I realized that I would have to push myself past what my old school had to offer. The only level I could take was considered "on level". This is when I made the decision to start school for the first time in the United States in order to take advanced classes. Changing from a student body of 40 to one of 1500 was a difficult transition for me and it was extremely hard for me to juggle the large caseload as well as get used to the culture and people after being away for seven years. However, I managed to join several groups and maintain a steady B+ average in my advanced courses throughout junior year.

It is extremely important to me that I receive the best education for the lowest price. After receiving my medical degree, I hope to work in a hospital and gain some experience, during which I would like to organize medical teams to various third world countries, mainly those in South America and the Caribbean. Mission work has always been my passion, and by allowing me the chance to study at your school I believe that not only I will benefit, but that those I wish to help will profit from my education in medicine.

If the problem did not lie within my grades but because this University's recent cuts to the amount of students it admitted, I would not be against changing my application to the Summer 2010 term. I have taken on a workload much harder than last year's and have received better grades. My transcripts show that even though I have two more AP classes than last year, my grades in them have improved.

***I'm having trouble with a conclusion and I

Writing Feedback / compare and contrast what conflicts the heroes have and how they face them [6]

THE QUESTION: "Find the protagonist/heroes in each of the three pieces and compare and contrast them using specific instances from the text for support. The protagonist from each text faces a definite struggle against one or many opposing forces and or people. Be sure to explaine these instances and show how they are similar and/or different from one another in each text."

The protagonists from the three novels; A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry, Cry the Beloved Country by Alan Paton, and Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte are respectively similar in many ways, yet there are many instances when they face various situations differently. Walter Younger, of A Raisin in the Sun, is a 35 year old limo driver with a family to support. Walter finds himself battling his Inner Conflicts; to succeed in life and Racial Prejudice. In Cry the Beloved Country, The Reverend Stephen Kumalo is a prominent Black Christian Pastor in a small town in South Africa. He too finds himself battling racial discord as he travels to a rapidly developing city, Johannesburg, to help his son and sister. The main protagonist of Wuthering Heights is Heathcliff, who was an orphan lost in the streets of Liverpool, where he was found and adopted by Mr. Earnshaw. When he was young, his primary quarrel was with the actual son of Mr. Earnshaw. As he grew, he became more sullen and morose, battling spirits of evil within himself, most importantly vengefulness.

A Raisin in the Sun takes place in the mid 20s in Chicago's Southside. The story is centered around the Youngers; Lena(Mama), Walter, Ruth, Beneatha, and Travis. Walter is a limo-driver, his wife Ruth works cleaning houses, and Beneatha is studying to be a Doctor. When Mama's husband dies, he leaves an insurance check of 10,000 dollars. Walter's first conflict is with his family's living conditions. The apartment is deplorable, only supposed to be a temporary place to stay, the unpleasant apartment became permanent when Walter could not afford to go elsewhere. Mainly, Walter's apposing force would be White Rule in America and his inner self-unhappy with his life he persistently complains to Ruth and his Mama what he could do with the money. Upon examining his life, Walter realizes that he wants to be like the wealthy men "he drives around". He does not want his to wife to work, and he wants a better future for his son. He finds that unfortunately, African Americans did not typically rise out of the slums of Chicago's Southside to affluence. Neither did they buy houses in prosperous white neighborhoods. Walter finds his answer when Mama takes her money and puts a down payment on a house in a white neighborhood "where [they] just aren't wanted", the Housing Association sends Mr. Lindner to persuade them to sell their house back to the association. Walter remains calm and tells Mr. Lindner that they will still move into the house no matter what their neighbors say. This occurrence is just one of the many racial quandaries that Walter and his family face. Later on Mama gives the rest of the money to Walter. A few days later his 'business partners' makes off with most of his investment money and his dream of a rich man's life. At first he turns to alcohol to combat his money and marital problems and then realizes that his family's happiness means more than his place in life.

Like Walter, Reverend Kumalo in "Cry the Beloved Country" fights racial tension in South Africa. The healthier grasslands upon the hills are set aside for white farmers to grow their crops, whilst the desiccate farm lands in the valleys are left for the African farmers. Kumalo receives a letter that his sister, just one of the family members that left for Johannesburg and never returned, has fallen ill. After scraping together his life savings with his wife, he sets off for the giant town alone, partly for his sister and mostly to find his son. He gets his first taste of the big city when a man offers to help him and ends up making off with his money. There he also unearths some disturbing news; his sister has become a prostitute. Kumalo attempts to fight for her soul and for her return with him. Throughout the novel Kumalo battles the internal conflict of an identity crisis and an external conflict with his son all the while being shocked by cultural dissimilarities and ethnic variations between Ndotsheni and Johannesburg. Kumalo often loses his sense of identity while he is anywhere but home at one time even stating he had been to Johannesburg "hundreds of times before" to the passengers on the train. As if his diminishing sense of self was not enough, the court in Johannesburg finds Absalom-his son-guilty of murder. Absalom, like his father, is searching for himself. He represents a trend of young Africans fleeing their small hometowns for the big city. He is easily persuaded by his peers and in this way veers of the path that he had started with his father. Kumalo, the moral center of the novel, confronts all of his conflicts with grace and dignity with the help from Tixo (God).

Heathcliff was adopted into the Earnshaw family early on, his conflict with Mr. Earnshaw's biological son, Hindley, is apparent from the beginning. Before his death Mr. Earnshaw was appalled at the conflict between the two and sends Hindley away to college. Many years later when Heathcliff is the head of the estate, he meets a man named Lockwood. Upon his stay, he recalls a ghostly encounter with Catherine Linton. While reading an entry in her diary, just shortly after her father's death, Lockwood reads of the way Hindley treated Catherine and Heathcliff, even at one point telling his wife to "pull the boys hair". Heathcliffs approach to this conflict is unlike the other two protagonists. He is a dark, sullen boy and uses tactics such as blackmail to insure Hindley does not get his way. He knows that Mr. Earnshaw favors him and uses this to his advantage. He plots his revenge and often tells of his plots to the family's servant, Nelly, who sees him in a pathetic light and tries to encourage him to be a better person. After losing the love of his life to first marriage to another man and then death, the demons he battled as a child become worse. When Catherine Linton and her husband both die, they leave behind Cathy, who Heathcliff offers to take in, the one kind gesture he makes in the book. However he is a stern man and does not treat her or others with any respect. Just like the other protagonists, Heathcliff was once subjected to vicious racism due to his dark skin color, often being called a gypsy. His way of dealing with these conflicts are different to those of the other two protagonists. He does not confront them head on with understanding and determination; rather, he suppresses his feelings and does not try to resolve the issues.

Writing Feedback / health and personal fitness, interview three people and back ur thesis up! [3]

PROMPT:
Your first paragraph should introduce your thesis statement. There are samples listed above. You can choose one of the two provided for you in the sample or make your own. interview person #1 asking questions based around your thesis statement, and be sure to take notes on the person's responses. Your second paragraph should include his/her age and how active that person is. Be sure to include the responses from your notes during the interview of person...REPEAT FOR THREE OTHER PEOPLE.

In my opinion, the amount of responsibility a person has, determines the amount of excersise they receive. My research shows that Interviewee A, a 40 year old adult who holds a full time job, and has children, does not exercise as much as Interviewee C who is a young adult, with no job and no children.

Beth is a 38 year old woman with a full time job and one child. She works everyday for her husband and his business. When asked how many times a week she exercises her response was "I don't, I never have time!" This justifies the claim that more responsibilities equal less time. As a mother, she has to cook for her family as well as clean and maintain her house. She gets to work out scarcely, running her road here and there, but is not consistent due to her responsibilities. When she was younger, unmarried and without children, she said, even though she had a full time job, it was easier to maintain an intense work out program.

Unlike Beth, Kiara is a young adult, age 17, with a part time job, no relationship or children. She works out every day at a local gym and takes aerobics and palates classes. She is extremely active and has the time to be so. She works part time, 4 hours a day almost every other day, and visits the gym nightly. She argues that her ability to work out is due to her not so busy schedule. Her responsibilities are light, including her work of course, chores around the house, and during the school year, homework. But still, compared to Beth, she has the time to commit. This proves the theory that the less a person has to worry about that, the more active they are. Age can also play a factor, but obviously with age, comes more responsibilities.

My third and final interview took place with a young adult Marissa age 17, with no job, no relationship, and no children. She works out every day at her local gym. She does not have a job so she attends palates classes every other morning and hits the gym regularly at night. She also takes spinning classes, which is known for being extremely intense. She is an A+ student and said that due to her Advanced Placement classes, school sometimes interferes with her exercise routine. She does no chores and has no job to keep up, her parents only expect her to make good grades and this is her only responsibility.

Even though many factors contribute to a person's amount of physical activity, my research shows that if a person has less responsibility they have more time to exercise.