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Posts by MichaelLi
Name: MichaelLi
Joined: May 16, 2015
Last Post: May 16, 2015
Threads: 2
Posts: 1  
Likes: 2
From: Australia
School: UTS

Displayed posts: 3
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MichaelLi   
May 16, 2015
Writing Feedback / The museum should be a fun and appealing place for its visitors - shall attract and entertain people [4]

Topic: Some think museums should be enjoyable places to attract and entertain people. But others think the purpose of museums is to educate, not to entertain. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

As the civilization of human has been developing for thousands years, a great number of historical antiques need to be stored and preserved in museums. Some argue that this place should be attractive and entertaining. While others claim that it should be used to educate.

There are some reasons why the museum should be a fun and appealing place for its visitors. One such reason is that it can bring significant amount of revenue to the museum. As the technology is developing rapidly, the authority of the museum can install a large number of touch screen displays around the museum. With the sensational effects and interacting features, they never fail to attract young people visit the museum, which naturally increase the income for museum. Apart from this, it should be a place for people to relax. Because people nowadays have taken huge pressure from work and study, visiting and hanging around the museum with friends can help them to reduce the stress, which will result in improving their health both physically and mentally.

However, there are some opposing voices. To start with, as the museum is the place where vast amount of historically significant evidences and antiques are housed, the knowledge of history can be demonstrated and learned. Thus, the history will not be forgot by the future generations. Besides this, young student's learning efficiency can also be improved. By taking them to the museum, history teachers have opportunities to illustrate some historical events to students instead just learning from reading off the textbooks.

In conclusion, I think museum should be designed for attracting and entertain people, but not losing its fundamental function of education.
MichaelLi   
May 16, 2015
Writing Feedback / Grades help motivate or discourage students to learn? [3]

For the first paragraph, you need to give background and paraphrase the topic.

In academic writing, try not use too much I believe, I think etc. using 'there be' is much better. i.e. However, there are certainly benefits of using grade.

Since opinions are given in the topic, then you should paraphrase them and use them as a topic sentence in the body paragraph. Then think about two points to support the argument.

please post full version of the topic. 'to what extent do you agree or disagree' 'what are the advantages and disadvantages' etc
MichaelLi   
May 16, 2015
Writing Feedback / The preference of people changing from purchasing a house to renting one and benefits from it. [2]

Hi guys, I hope you are doing well. I am new to this great forum. I would like to get some feedback from you about my essay. Thanks!

Topic: Many people prefer to rent a house rather than buying one. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of renting.

Recently, we have witnessed an unavoidable trend in the housing industry. That is the preference of people changing from purchasing a house to renting one.

There are mainly two benefits in renting the house. To start with, one such benefit is that it reduces the financial burden of adults. As the world economy is still recovering from the global financial crisis, working adults are struggling with finding the ideal job. Under such circumstance, renting a house is definitely a good choice, as it usually requires a small amount of bond and a fixed amount of rental. Apart from this, it provides the flexibility of moving to another place. With the trend of changing working location being high, young graduates might need to move to a new place as the working location changes. Thus, the term of the lease can be either long or short depending on the personal situation.

However, there are certainly some disadvantages as well. Firstly, the terms of the lease will change. As the housing price is increasing continuously, the landlord would want to increase the rental in order to keep up with change in the house price. As a result, tenants have the risk of leasing the house under the terms which are not in their favor. Secondly, there are no financial gains. As the real owner of the real estate property is the landlord, the landlord always enjoys the capital gain when the value of the property increases.

In conclusion, there are always advantages and disadvantages of renting a house. Whether renting a house or buying one depends is different from case to case.
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