Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by tpkhai
Name: Tran Phan Khai
Joined: Sep 23, 2015
Last Post: Jul 5, 2016
Threads: 2
Posts: 1  
From: Viet Nam
School: Economics of University Ho Chi Minh City

Displayed posts: 3
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tpkhai   
Jul 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / The demand of transportation is higher than ever and it leads to many chronic issues faced by human [2]

Topic: Increasing the price of the petrol is the best way to solve the growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Essay:

Since the Industrial Revolution in 18th century, following the internal combustion engine invention, worldwide population has increased significantly reaching nearly 7 billion people at the beginning of 2016. Due to the overpopulation, the demand of transportation is higher that leads to many chronic issues human has faced, namely environmental degradation and growing traffic in various metropolises. To tackle these problems, many experts propose the higher price to fuel operation of transport. However, I believe this suggestion is not feasible.

There are many reasons that prevent higher petrol prices from solving these problems. Firstly, almost universal citizens uses the vehicle carrying engine which uses the gasoline for running. Thus, it may be impossible that residents could find the substitution for replacing petrol in spite of its expensive prices. For example, according to a recent survey in 2011 in US, approximately 75% of American people claimed that they would keep using their private automobiles despite the government doubled the cost of gasoline since it is hard for them to find the alternative moving ways. Secondly, the causes of environmental pollution do not only come from cars' byproduct but also the other factors. In terms of overpopulation, it has affected on the environment detrimentally. Extremely crowded population would pressure on natural resources. Exhausted them tend to results in air pollution, water pollution. The particular examples for this is Singapore. Singaporean government has imported the sand from Cambodia for expand the land on the sea surface and Cambodia has suffered the devastating consequences on environment.

As a result, increase the fuel cost is not the best way to address those problems. Therefore, government need other solutions for dealing with growing traffic and environmental problems. First, they should take measure to foster the knowledge of citizens on family planning so as to control the newborn baby. Second, developing and less developed country should adapt to the technology in developed one so that they can enhance their transportation quality and reduce the poverty-stricken rate.

In conclusion, growing traffic and problems related to environment are pressing issues of many countries over the world. Thus, governments and international organizations make contribution to handle and improve the Earth's quality.
tpkhai   
Jul 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / Should kids study a foreign language as early as possible? IELTS2 [7]

Hi Dicki, I can see that you have some problems with your essay. Thus, I try my best to adjust it, I hope it works for you.

- Topic: when topic said that "to what extent do you agree or disagree?", you have to express your opinion that you support the agreement or disagreement with the issue.

- Spelling: you faced with some wrong spelling in this essay
- After "to" or "should" you use the infinitive like " to know" and "should know" not "to knowed" and "should knowed".

- Your paragraph also contains wrong irregular word such as knowed => knew

That is all my correction for your essay. Hope you do the next essay well...! :)
tpkhai   
Oct 3, 2015
Writing Feedback / Is smoking bad? Nicotine Addiction essay. [2]

This is my essay and my level is intermediate. Hope you can correct my essay and contribute your own idea.

Smoking causes major heath risk. In fact, many people start smoking at young age because they will be considered as mature if they know smoking. Morever, some people smoking just for relaxing, but it comes with greater heath risk for smokers.

Firstly, smoking brings healthy problems. Burning tobacco is known to cause cancer, especially lungs cancer. In addition, 90% of victims having lungs diseases are concerned to cigarretes. There are more than 6 millions people died each year because of this evil. People using to tobacco have higher gravity cancer than other not using tobacco. Not only cancer, but staining teeth is one of consequences of smoking. Cigarettes contain tar, a chemical that covers teeth with yellowish tinge. Furthermore, bad breath, brittle bone, premature ejaculation and be blind is also sequel of burning tobacco.

Secondly, money you spend on buying cigarettes is numerous. One person wastes more than seventy-five dollars per year to buy tobacco. If he uses this money to buy food, he can eat a whole year. On the other hand, when people get sick, the hospital fees are terrible to cure their illness. Unfortunately, if their problem goes worse, they will be burden of relatives. Every year, Government takes a part of national budget to solve problems of smoking.

Thirdly, smoking affects to enviroment seriously because it create garbages such as filterlesses, teguments. Beside that, people cut many trees to make firewoods to fry the leaves of tobacco plants. More than 2.5 milions hectares of forest are cut to be made wrapping papers and firewoods each year. When people burn cigarettes or make tobacco, a lot of toxic flow into the air that make air be dirty. Additional, tobacco plants need fertilizer, pesticide so much and that is the reason make land, water polluted. People who smoke in public can make another feel uncomfortable and people who breaths the smoke from smoker also get issues about their health as they smoke.

In conclusion, smoking is not only harmful to users but all people around them. People who smoke have increased their chance of getting trouble with health. The smoking should be quitted by smokers and Government should ban smoking because of its serious consequences.
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