Writing Feedback / Essay on how the young adults live after finishing their schools [4]

topic : In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents' home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Do you agree or disagree with this approach? Give your opinion.

my essay:

The idea that young adult should live with their parents after finishing school seems at the first glance a fair statement, nevertheless it may make assumption that they can live easily without paying for the rent of house and expense of living. As I shall argue this is not the whole picture and there are compelling reasons why young generation should leave their parents after school to be live dependently.

To begin with, graduate students from school can live independent of where their parents live. Some towns have better study options for young generation. If students change their place where they live, they can improve their level of knowledge, crafts and abilities which promote standard of their living. Therefore, parents should accept that their children in certain age leave home. Also, in some cities, there are more high paying job opportunities for students. Migrating to these cities may give them more chance to earn money.

In the other root of such a grave idea is that young generation should accept responsibility for their lives. The best way to built character and confidence is to live alone or with peers. They get more experience without parents. For example, they have to cook and do laundry, vacuuming a ironing. They spend time to buy food, vegetable and fruit.

In conclusion, I once again would like to argue that the best development for young generation can be achieved, when they become responsible for all of their household chores by which young adults can gain amazing experience that are going to be part of them for the rest of their lives.

Writing Feedback / Cleaning up the environment essay - I WRITE it again give me your opinion and score IELTS [4]

Many people believe that companies and individuals should pay to clean up the environment in proportion to the amount of pollution they have produced. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples.

The idea that The onus of cleaning up the environment lies on individuals which makes pollution seems at the first glance a fair statements, nevertheless it may make assumption that individuals have to be responsible for harmful activity they done against the environment. As I shall argue this is not the whole picture, there are compelling reasons why company should pay extra money for compensation of harmful damages(environmental degradation).

To begin with, businesses are the most contributors to pollution. Company usually consists of multiple departments in which several specialists are employed, therefore some experts can manage pollution. Whereas individuals are very unlikely to hire a specialists, individuals cannot cope with pollution accurately.

The other root of such a grave idea is that incurring most of pollution expenses to businesses is what causes increasing the cost of final products. If these products are distributed and then are bought by citizens, which means individuals pay extra money for pollution caused during the production process.

Moreover, certain activities that harmed the environment are primly motivated by self-interest. Irresponsible companies accomplish some unacceptable activities to earn huge profits such as logging which causes huge deforestation and global warming. In addition, they disposal huge sewage to river, sea or ocean without any water filter.

In conclusion, I once again would like to argue that businesses should manage their by-product which is harmful for the ecosystem or product process which lead to environment damages. If they do not responsible for their drawbacks, they will be punished.