Posts by sbc6
Joined: Nov 1, 2015 |
Last Post: Dec 10, 2015
Threads: 2
Posts: 3
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From: usa
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Displayed posts: 5
Undergraduate /
Briefly describe how your past activities or work experiences will enhance our community. USD app. [3]
HELP I don't even know where to start with this question due to the 'how will this enhance our community' part. This is what I have so far. I'm not attached to it; I may even scrap it. However, I would like some feed back on what I have down and/or suggestions. Thanks!
Q:
As a Changemaker Campus, USD promotes entrepreneurship, collaboration, and innovation for positive social change. Briefly describe how your past activities or work experiences will enhance our community.A: Working at Taco Bell, playing soccer, and being apart of Spanish Club have given me the experience I need to help enhance the USD community. I've met so many diverse individuals; my communications skills have been refined. Through trial-and-error I've been able to learn how important tone, body language, and listening is when communicating with someone. I believe that my good communication skills will help enhance the USD community because it'll help solve problems. With the right type of communication I can avoid problematic situations, help mediate others' problems, and convey ideas and questions in and out of the classroom more efficiently.
Scholarship /
Primary versus Secondary Education - Advantages of Teaching Foreign Language [8]
I wasn't aware it was for IELTS. I'm not sure if it will affect your score, but I strongly think it won't due to the fact that the test is really only about your ability to use the English language. Since it is for a language test, I personally wouldn't add the citation. Sorry about the confusion (:
Scholarship /
Primary versus Secondary Education - Advantages of Teaching Foreign Language [8]
I think the last two sentences would benefit from being combined by continuing the last sentence right after the word possible, deleting the words "although" and "it is" and "with", and adding the word "however" in place of although and "in" in place of with.
ex. However, I personally think that teaching secondary languages should happen as early as possible when children are curious and interested in their linguistic abilities.
Also, regarding the point you made about the survey in 2014, I think your writing would be stronger if you could possibly add an in text citation for that survey so that it doesn't seem made up.
Undergraduate /
The University of San Diego fulfills my 'college wishlist' completely. [3]
Q:
How does USD stand out among all of the other colleges to which you are applyingA: The University of San Diego stands out among all of the other colleges to which I am applying in that it fulfills my 'college wishlist' completely. Not only does USD wish to foster students at the personal and academic level, they prove it with such a comprehensive advisor program. If admitted, I will take full advantage of this program to remain organized. Then, the study abroad programs at USD are invaluable. Because I wish to be immersed in Spanish culture and language, USD's Madrid Center offers exactly that. Next, USD has a Division 1 women's soccer team. I've played club soccer since I was eight years old, and I hope to continue playing throughout college. Last, USD is green! Missions Cafe is absolutely amazing and inspiring. Working at Taco Bell, I see so much waste; I want it to change, and Missions Cafe proves it can be done.
* if anyone has any suggestions/edits I'd be happy to hear
Writing
Editing Help?
