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Posts by liuzhengxian
Name: sunice212
Joined: Nov 7, 2015
Last Post: Mar 16, 2019
Threads: 2
Posts: 1  
Likes: 3
From: R.O.C.
School: National Taiwan University

Displayed posts: 3
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liuzhengxian   
Mar 16, 2019
Writing Feedback / Creativity and Entrepreneurship - young people are more creative than the old in business [2]

Hi @Sanazhemmati,
I supposed you were writing a short essay for language tests like TOEFL or IELTS.
Following this assumption, for your reference, I will give some humble suggestions.

green: suggestion
red: grammatical error

First paragraph

In this day and ageThese days creativity is becoming of considerable more and more important in the competitive businesses industries. to reach ... of competition with competitors.

... more creative than olds the elderly. This essay will offer provide the(Specific numbers like 3 or 4 help me to catch up with your point of view faster.) reasons below.
liuzhengxian   
Jan 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Task: See a movie in a cinema with other people or in an appartment? Better, cheaper at home. [2]

Please revise my essay. Feedbacks like paragraph development, contents & details, and grammar mistakes are welcome.
Thank you.
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Q: Do you agree or disagree with the statement? It is more fun to see a movie in a cinema (theater) with other people than see a movie at home.

Movies absolutely plays an important role in our modern entertainment life. Kinds of types of movies are provided for people to see, such as romantics, drama, action, etc. People also like to enjoy movies in different ways. Part of them are fond of going to the movie theater; however, part of them prefer to watch movies at home. In my opinion, I think seeing a movie in a cinema is more interesting. Hence, I do agree with a statement that it's more fun to see a movie in a cinema with other than see a movie at home.

First of all, watching a movie with others in cinema could offer us pleasure from marvelous visual and sound effects. You are able to see a movie in a much wider screen and vocal sound around you just like you are in the scene. For example, watching action movie "Mission Impossible five" in a theater, people could see the men fighting vividly and hear loud bombing during the movie. It's a better way to enjoy an action movie. However, it is impossible to make it if you see it in your house.

Secondly, watching a movie with our companies could also afford us so much fun. Other people with you may want to discuss about the plots, characters, and clothes after the movie. Without a doubt, it's more interesting to share each others' ideas and thoughts toward a movie. For instance, when seeing a movie with your girlfriend or boyfriend, both of you know each other more since both share thoughts and feelings about the movie.

Thirdly, even though some claim that it costs when going to a theater, it still pays to watch a movie in cinema with others. Because you can not only eat and drink in theater but also see the newest movie in cinema. Sometimes if you are pretty looking forward to a sequel of a movie, seeing it in cinema immediately would be recommended. Besides, those newest movies are usually not allowed to be watched at home. Thus, enjoying a good movie in cinema is worthy of buying a ticket for it.

In conclusion, watching movies gives people great happiness so it's always a popular pastime choice. But some like to see a movie in theater; however, some like to see a movie at home. The former type of enjoying a movie is better than the latter because you can enjoy visual and sound pleasure as well as talking the movie with others. In addition, it also pays to buy a ticket for a movie you are fond of. As a result, in my view, watching a movie with others in cinema would be a better choice than at home.
liuzhengxian   
Dec 22, 2015
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Independent Task (1/185) - Why do you think people attend college or university? [2]

Please help me to revise my essay. Feedbacks like structural, detail, paragraph development, and grammar problems are welcome.
Thank you.
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Q:
People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Pursuing higher education is becoming more and more prevalent nowadays. There are various reasons for people to go to university. In my opinion, I think the reasons why people attend university are gaining more professional knowledge, knowing more people, and gaining more new experiences.

First of all, people in university could gain more professional knowledge. There are miscellaneous classes in universities, and each of them contains much more specific and difficult knowledge than in high school. For example, Shakespeare is a playwright who only appears in one page in high school textbook. But in university, you can take courses about Shakespeare in kinds of perspective, such as drama, literature analysis, even philosophy of life attitude. Learning in university is possible for people to gain knowledge in a specific way, and it helps one to acquire more professional knowledge.

Secondly, knowing more people is another thrust for people to attend university. University is recognized as the symbol of freedom. Students in there could hold various activities which is the best way to know more people. For instance, students are encouraged to participate in clubs according to their interests and personalities. As a result, students are tended to make different friends having same interests in clubs. Besides, knowing more people like different classmates would be beneficial after entering a working environment. Take a reporter as example, if a reporter urgently needs someone to interview for their newspaper article, a call toward a classmate in biology class may solve the problem in time. So, knowing more people in university would be large supports in the future career and life.

Thirdly, people in university have numerous opportunities to try new things and gain more new experiences. As mentioned before, university is a place ensuring students great freedom. Hence, it is different from in high school, people have chances to do what they want. For example, people in university are not required to wear uniform like in high school anymore. Thus, they can try new types of looking to develop a personalized style. Some may try to wear some make-up or change their haircut. Every time they try new style, they will much understand which style is more suitable for them. Eventually, they will gain sufficient experiences to build up a personalized style.

In conclusion, people attend university for different reasons. In my view, university is a place where people could obtain professional knowledge, know more different people, and gain new experiences from every new trying. That's why people want to attend university.