Undergraduate / Aetas people. Transfer Essay Common App Prompt: provide a statement that addresses your reasons..." [4]

Hello,

Here is my essay on the Common App transfer prompt:
"Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve." Up to 650 words. I currently have 616.

Some of my sentences may be cheesy, so please help me out! Also, there are some lengthy sentences that I need help shortening. I'm only applying to one college so it's specific to that one. Thank you!

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The indigenous people of my province are called the Aetas. They reside in the dense and lush forests of Mount Pinatubo as a nomadic and hunter-gatherer tribe. Despite the Spanish, American, and Japanese colonisation of the Philippines, the Aetas have managed to resist change for millennia, living peacefully on both the gentle and rugged slopes of their mountain.

In June 1991, a massive eruption of Mount Pinatubo occurred, not only killing thousands of Aetas, but also forcing them to evacuate the only home they knew. They fled to the lowlands where they had to learn a completely different way of life. They put up with insults for their primitive ways and suffered from discrimination. Unfortunate circumstances led the Aetas to adapt for survival, just like they always have. Their flexibility is what kept them afloat in the face of immense transformation.

The Aetas suffered, and the new generation of their people may never know what it feels to live on their mountain. Still, I have never seen such an array of beautiful smiles. After spending time with Aeta families in resettlement areas, I left with a new appreciation for change. Although change is an uncomfortable process, it can determine the agility and dexterity of an individual. This is why I want not only to succumb to change, but to be completely soaked in it.

After living in the Philippines for nearly 20 years, I grew up loving my country and basking in the comforts of my home. However, I believe that this is the right time for me to gain a different perspective in order to reach a new understanding of world, and of myself.

Enderun Colleges' focus on a global education has helped me shape my vision in life, and that is to be an effective and efficient social entrepreneur. However, in as much as my current school has helped me establish a greater sense of myself and my goals, I feel that there is a need to push even further.

I thrive where I am constantly inspired and challenged. After visiting George Washington University in D.C. this past fall, I quickly fell in love with its aura. The eager young minds of GWU showed me what it would be like to study and graduate in an institution that is acknowledged for its diversity, breadth of academic offerings, and location. I am extremely attracted by the opportunity of studying in a recognised university for entrepreneurship, and that is exactly what GWU is. With GWU's offering of Bachelor in Business Administration, with a specialisation in Innovation and Entrepreneurship, as well as the integration of research opportunities in the academics, I am positive that my growth will accelerate drastically.

In GWU, I believe my intellectual curiosity and craving for education will be satisfied. I expect that my Filipino background will be of great use in proposing new ideas to peers, which is something I look forward to as well. I aim to be as involved as possible, with some of the many clubs and organisations that focus on doing good in this world.

The school is not merely located in D.C., but completely immersed in it. As much as I am transferring for mostly academic reasons, I know that living in D.C. will open my eyes to a new perspective of the world, and will enhance my abilities to help improve it.

It took a while for me to get to know myself and the kind of person I want to be. But now that I do, change is what will push me to become that person. Change is the catalyst in my story, just like it was for the ever adapting Aetas.

Undergraduate / 'overwhelmed with emotion' - Transfer Applicant - George Washington University [10]

Please tell us what excites you about being a member of the GW community. (500 word limit)

The idea of going to college in a completely different environment makes me overwhelmed with emotion since this is something I always knew I wanted. The idea of transferring to a university in one of the world's most important cities, one that so potently houses the love for art, business, and politics, further elates my motivation to attend. I am invigorated by the life in Washington, D.C., and when I ponder the idea of attending George Washington University, I am beyond thrilled by the college experience that I am about to live.

I decided that GW is the right fit for me because of the broad diversity of the school. The fact that I will be spending countless moments with peers who come from all over the world makes me ecstatic with what's to come. Coming from a country half way around the world, I am positive that this will allow me to interact with students whose different perspectives and backgrounds will further broaden my own, improving my skills in networking and collaboration. I am also eager to experience the in-college housing, which I am confident will result in a memorable college life and social experience, both of which I am eagerly seeking.

I look forward to participating in various athletic and spirit programs and collaborate with the students by joining different student organisations, mainly in leadership and community service. I believe these activities will result in the development of my personal growth. The academic life of GW buzzes with energy and the location of the school is just right for my love of entrepreneurship. Not only will I get business skills through studies, I will also get to see how business is conducted on a daily basis. Through the array of bustling small businesses in Washington, D.C., entrepreneurship students are put at the centre of a creative mind map, where there is no limit to where your imagination can take you. On top of that, my vision is to collaborate with peers who possess the creative skills to make a positive impact on society.

Simply thinking about the idea of being a member of the GW community excites me. I cannot even imagine how I will feel to actually be a part of it. I know it will be life changing, and I am ready for it.

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Please let me know how it is. I really want to get into this school!