Posts by majid11

majid11

Feb 15, 2016

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past [2]

In my point of view, this issue ~~could bring real drawbacks~~HAS DETRIMENTAL EFFECTS AS A RESULT OF PREFERRING ISOLATION~~for them such as feelings of loneliness and reducing life expectancy.~~

This is because they will gain a difficulty to connect and interact with others ~~and feel~~AS A RESULT OF losing AN emotional support of friends and family.

For instance, adults who live in a place with the others would have daily conversation ~~frequentlywiththe surroundings.~~
they could not share their problemS and are often attacked by feelings of the loneliness. AS A RESULT, ~~This can cause they to become more frustrated.~~THEY MAY BE INFECTED BY FRUSTRATION

majid11

Dec 6, 2015

Writing Feedback / IELTS-TASK 2: Young people say that traveling to different countries benefits them and the society. [6]

dynaranjani ,
Cruella,
sharfina,
pikul

i appreciate your efforts to show me my errors and your comments are extremely precious to me. i would like to say to you thank you all so much

Guang

when i read my essay which was rewritten by you, i really felt that there was a professional teacher behind this kind of writing. i really appreciate your effort to show me how i can adjust my writing

majid11

Dec 4, 2015

Writing Feedback / IELTS-TASK 2: Young people say that traveling to different countries benefits them and the society. [6]

Advanced technology such as plane and train has facilitated transports from one place to another. Therefore, majority of young individuals travel overseas in order to search travelling advantages and exploit them. However, other opponents argue that travelling overseas plays a prominent role in posing deviant behaviors. I strongly assent that travelling overseas is a precious factor.

Undoubtedly, travelling overseas brings to young individuals significant benefits. One of these advantages is they acquire ability to be independent though their parents are in remote places. Furthermore, they increase their capability to how mange finances and plan their future independently. Second advantage is they obtain new acquaintances from all over the world resulting in recognizing a large number of cultures and traditions of their friends. Acquiring new language is also a significant benefit because it assists them to contact with foreigner individuals. Travelling overseas is an essential aspect to expand individuals' knowledge and experience.

Despite the benefits, there are aspects of travelling overseas that may prove harmful to young individuals. One of these drawbacks is they carry out illegal activity. Young individuals are known as curious, so they prefer to experience new items. Initially, they attempt to drink wine. Consequently, they become alcoholic. Another disadvantage is they spend a large amount of money in luxury and entertainment. Ultimately, they become bankrupt after that obstacle could be emerged to them and obstruct their travelling. Psychological problem is another drawback of travelling overseas. Majority of individuals suffer from homesickness, depression, and anxiety during their travelling overseas. All these issues can influence intensely on individuals and also they can be the reason to eradicate the thought of travelling from their minds.

In conclusion, although touring overseas at young age has some drawbacks, it has numerous advantages to young individuals. It boosts individuals' experience and creates more friendship from all over the world.