Undergraduate / "A dream becomes a goal when action is taken toward its achievement" [3]

I see the story and lessons you are trying to talk about, but the essay needs to be a bit more organized. Organizing it and shortening the number of paragraphs would make it much easier and comfortable to the reader's eyes.

Undergraduate / Biology - Cornell Supplement (intellectual interests, why exciting, & how to pursue) [2]

Your introduction was quite catchy and overall flow of essay is great. I really like how you talk about your future goals at the end. However in this paragraph:

Outside of classes, Cornell provides a diverse student body, each ...
I think you can come up with something to talk about the qualities that only Cornell University can bring to you. There are many diverse student body, clubs, and networks found in other universities too.