Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by bmw
Joined: Jul 31, 2009
Last Post: Aug 23, 2009
Threads: 2
Posts: 8  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 10
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
bmw   
Aug 23, 2009
Undergraduate / Life's test and lesson - UF ESSAY ANALYZE! [7]

Good points! I was worried about the topic of writing about a failure instead of a success that most talk about however there is much to be learned from that experience. I think I need to add that I continue to play travel ball and that it didn't dampen my spirti for the game. Thank you so much, I will revise and rewrite with changes Do you think I should change the topic?
bmw   
Aug 23, 2009
Undergraduate / Life's test and lesson - UF ESSAY ANALYZE! [7]

This is the prompt:
describe a meaningful event, experience, or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contriubution to the UF campus community.

As the day began in darkness I was hoping for a different kind of light. As I got dressed for school I thought to myself maybe the third time is the charm. Since age five, baseball has been my passion. As years passed I went from playing with local teams to playing travel baseball. Not only did I make the teams, but became a solid starting ball player. The early dedication and hard work was the prelude to my focus, playing high school baseball. Unfortunately this did not go as planned. As a freshman I expected to make the high school team. After tryouts, I stood in line waiting to see who made the cut, with my heart racing, I was certain I'd made it. However my eyes began scrambling as I viewed the list, I didn't see my name. Maybe they misspelled it... I was devastated when I realized it wasn't there. Disappointment didn't describe my feeling, I had the skills and put forth the effort, so I thought. Embarrassment also overcame me, my friends made the team and they expected I would as well. I had difficulty getting over the feeling of rejection and the thought of quitting baseball.

Eventually I rose above the experience and went back to travel ball. I wasn't going to let this setback keep me from playing baseball. I practiced harder, attended baseball camp and took part in private clinics to ready myself for tryouts. Not making the team as a freshman motivated me to work even harder. Finally tryouts began, now a sophomore I felt more confident on making the team. After a week of tryouts, STRIKE TWO! "Cerruto" was no where to be found on the final roster. In disbelief I approached the coach for clarity on what was missing. Simply put, it was just a numbers game, there were too many outfielders. Coach encouraged me to consider other positions if I decided to tryout again. Another experience while upsetting helped me move forward. I continued to focus on playing baseball, when tryouts began my junior year they went flawlessly. However the third time was not the charm. Again I spoke to the coach and was told that if I weren't a Junior I probably would have made the team. They just decided on the younger players. Strike three for some but not me. The difference is that life doesn't have the same rules as baseball. You control counting yourself out. My baseball experience has taught me that as well as to look at obstacles in a different way. Unlike academics, where we are taught lessons followed by a test on what we've learned. Experience in the real world often works in reverse. Life gives the test first and the lessons come later. This was proven to me through baseball and has readied me for my college experience which is an attribute I will bring to the University of Florida as I'm challenged by college life.
bmw   
Aug 8, 2009
Undergraduate / "Whatever you do, own it!" - UCF admission - Why did you choose to apply to UCF [13]

I have added additional information about the opening quote. It really is because of my parents owning their own businesses, that I have developed the desire to own mine. What they meant was whatever job I decide to do try to own it. Is it not good to open with a personal quote? if not, perhaps I could change the beginning all together. Thank you for the input, you guys are very helpful.
bmw   
Aug 6, 2009
Undergraduate / "Whatever you do, own it!" - UCF admission - Why did you choose to apply to UCF [13]

"Whatever you do, own it!" My parent's words have echoed throughout my life, convincing me to pursue the goal of starting my own business. As a leading partnership University, UCF will prepare me to do exactly that. I have always had an interest in business, but after taking a class in international relations in high school, I was fascinated by how our country does business with others. This is a major I want to explore.

...
bmw   
Jul 31, 2009
Undergraduate / "Whatever you do, own it!" - UCF admission - Why did you choose to apply to UCF [13]

Here is the revised version. the word limit is 250 for this essay.

"Whatever you do, own it!" My parent's words have echoed throughout my life, convincing me to pursue the goal of starting my own business. After watching both of my parents run their own businesses, I have seen the multitude of challenges that they face as well as the satisfaction. This has encouraged me to be my own boss. I have always had an interest in business, but after taking a class in international relations in high school, I was intrigued by how our country does business with others. As a leading partnership University, UCF will provide opportunities not found at other colleges. The level of commitment UCF has to its students and the ties it has to the outside business and government community is very impressive. I was pleased to see the amount and availability for business internships given to students during their college years. Over the past two summers my father has supported UCF undergrad internships at his brokerage office. Through conversations with these students, I have gained a better understanding of some of the course offerings, campus amenities, and personal challenges of college life. Additionally, the second I walked onto the campus I had that at home feeling and felt like I belonged. I believe the overall feeling you have about the college you plan to attend is very important.

Even though I have not firmly decided what type of business I want own, I know I will have endless opportunities to explore my ideas and talents at UCF.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳