sarahstu
Aug 11, 2009
Undergraduate / Charity bike ride - A setback I have faced [9]
Thank you for the feedback!
This is the prompt and a little revision of my paper. I added a small paragraph that I think could be beneficial...
Describe a setback that you have faced. How did you resolve it? How did the outcome affect you? If something similar happened in the future, how would you react? (around 500 words)
(I have around 550)
When I was just fourteen years old, my best friend died in the MS 180 charity bike ride to Myrtle Beach. After a long day at my Serve for the Cure volleyball tournament, the news I received when I returned home made my stomach lurch and my heart drop. As it was only our freshman year in high school, her death grew difficult for me throughout the year. Everyday I would think the last time I saw her, passing her by before practice, making a funny face through the glass doors; If I only knew that was the last smile I would ever see again. However, as it has been almost three years since Rachel passed away, I have been capable of building my strength back up to the fullest, and channeling my emotions into benefitting for the community.
Through the past few years, struggling to balance out my studies and sports, Rachel leaving this Earth did not make anything much easier. While my grades were suddenly dropping, I had to force myself to realize that everything happens for a reason. Replaying images of our time together in my head, I began to notice an imperative lesson: I need to maintain a more positive energy because the sadness can be contagious. Since the accident, I have been working hard to help raise money for the Rachel Giblin Scholarship fund that my school had provided. Between selling t-shirts, wristbands, and coke-floats, the awareness of Rachel's Scholarship fund gradually spread. Approaching senior year, our class has tried to make it a big year for raising money, as we would want the future students to recognize Rachel and continue supporting the fundraisers.
Just recently, another friend of mine tragically died after a head injury, and I feel myself experiencing some of the same feelings I felt when Rachel died almost three years ago. However, with a sudden death already in my previous history, I feel prepared for dealing with Will's death. Recollecting on Rachel's death, I know that I can lend out a hand to Will's sister and other friends, knowing how to handle it. It shows me how every second should be taken for granted, and that I should be so thankful for the life I live everyday.
I do not think that I will ever encounter such a setback in my life as I did when Rachel died. I now can fully comprehend the saying, "You don't know what you've lost until it's gone." While I do have a great group of friends and a few best friends, I will never meet anyone like Rachel again. Rachel was not the most popular girl in school, but I wasn't afraid to have a friend outside of my other group of friends, I was honoured to have a friend outside of my other group of friends. Rachel taught me that I could reach outside my boundaries, and have fun with all of the amazing things that I am privileged to have in my life. Not only did Rachel leave me with great morals to follow, but also her death has made me become a stronger person. Dealing with the pain that my best friend is no longer here, I believe that I can push through any other hardship that I will face and help others through their similar experiences, like Will's family and friends. I will always remember that everything happens for a reason, and that Rachel died for not only her family and the community, but also for me.
Thank you for the feedback!
This is the prompt and a little revision of my paper. I added a small paragraph that I think could be beneficial...
Describe a setback that you have faced. How did you resolve it? How did the outcome affect you? If something similar happened in the future, how would you react? (around 500 words)
(I have around 550)
When I was just fourteen years old, my best friend died in the MS 180 charity bike ride to Myrtle Beach. After a long day at my Serve for the Cure volleyball tournament, the news I received when I returned home made my stomach lurch and my heart drop. As it was only our freshman year in high school, her death grew difficult for me throughout the year. Everyday I would think the last time I saw her, passing her by before practice, making a funny face through the glass doors; If I only knew that was the last smile I would ever see again. However, as it has been almost three years since Rachel passed away, I have been capable of building my strength back up to the fullest, and channeling my emotions into benefitting for the community.
Through the past few years, struggling to balance out my studies and sports, Rachel leaving this Earth did not make anything much easier. While my grades were suddenly dropping, I had to force myself to realize that everything happens for a reason. Replaying images of our time together in my head, I began to notice an imperative lesson: I need to maintain a more positive energy because the sadness can be contagious. Since the accident, I have been working hard to help raise money for the Rachel Giblin Scholarship fund that my school had provided. Between selling t-shirts, wristbands, and coke-floats, the awareness of Rachel's Scholarship fund gradually spread. Approaching senior year, our class has tried to make it a big year for raising money, as we would want the future students to recognize Rachel and continue supporting the fundraisers.
Just recently, another friend of mine tragically died after a head injury, and I feel myself experiencing some of the same feelings I felt when Rachel died almost three years ago. However, with a sudden death already in my previous history, I feel prepared for dealing with Will's death. Recollecting on Rachel's death, I know that I can lend out a hand to Will's sister and other friends, knowing how to handle it. It shows me how every second should be taken for granted, and that I should be so thankful for the life I live everyday.
I do not think that I will ever encounter such a setback in my life as I did when Rachel died. I now can fully comprehend the saying, "You don't know what you've lost until it's gone." While I do have a great group of friends and a few best friends, I will never meet anyone like Rachel again. Rachel was not the most popular girl in school, but I wasn't afraid to have a friend outside of my other group of friends, I was honoured to have a friend outside of my other group of friends. Rachel taught me that I could reach outside my boundaries, and have fun with all of the amazing things that I am privileged to have in my life. Not only did Rachel leave me with great morals to follow, but also her death has made me become a stronger person. Dealing with the pain that my best friend is no longer here, I believe that I can push through any other hardship that I will face and help others through their similar experiences, like Will's family and friends. I will always remember that everything happens for a reason, and that Rachel died for not only her family and the community, but also for me.
