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Posts by sarahmk
Joined: Aug 20, 2007
Last Post: Apr 20, 2009
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sarahmk   
Aug 20, 2007
Writing Feedback / Examining the poem "To An Athlete Dying Young" By A.E Housman [36]

hello everyone! this is my first time here...my essay is basically examing the poem called "To An Athlete Dying Young,"written by A.E Housman. Can you guys tell me what you think?

never mind that post, i posted by accident and i wasnt done ... Hey Sarah I fixed up my essay, but i have a few questions and i need some help. The bolded parts are what i need help with in terms of fixing them up. Also i divided my essay into two parts literacy analysis and interpretation. How could i make note of this in my introduction and conclusion? I need to say it, but im not sure how...

Ashly Montagu once stated, "The idea is to die young as late as possible," while Mark Twain said, "The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time." A.E. Housman, in the tragic poem 'To an Athlete Dying Young," examines the themes of youth and premature death. The poem addresses a young runner who epitomized glory by winning a race and earning the acclaim of his townsmen. The triumph of the youth's winning of a race is matched by the ironic triumph of his death. The usage of metaphoric language, imagery, sophisticated literature, and rhyme created a complex poem that obtains these subjective themes. The effectiveness of the poem contributes to the overall purpose Housman was trying to propose, in reference to Paramahansa Yogananda's poem, The Dying Youth's Divine Reply. The speaker of the poem examines how the individual in the poem lived as a champion, and died as a legend. To An Athlete Dying Young's has a similar subject matter to the novel, The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Both themes will be juxtaposed to convey the significance of life compared to the importance of death, while analyzing the concept of dreams. In addition, To An Athlete Dying Young, challenges traditional perspectives on death, for Housman suggests it's better for people to die at the height of their glory, than to die later on and be forgotten.

Literary Analysis:

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To An Athlete Dying Young, is a traditional poem that occurs during the 19th century in a pastoral setting in England, from the point of view of a young yeoman. Housman created a poem that consists of a four lined balled with seven stanzas. (Could you help me fix this up) The form of poetry is known as a couplet, an alternating rhyme scheme abab: "The time you won the town the race/We chaired you through the marketplace: Man and boy stood cheering by/And home we bought you shoulder high (Housman 1-4). The triumphant procession of the athlete's moment of glory is contrasted with his funeral procession: "To-day, the road all runners come / Shoulder-high we bring youhome, / And set you at your threshold down, / Townsman of a stiller town" (Housman 4-8). This was an example of an iambic tetrameter, having four feet that each consists of an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed syllable. Some lines are in trochaic tetrameter with catalexis at the end. Lines 13 and 14 are examples of trochaic tetrameter with catalexis: "Eyes the shady night has shut/ Cannot see the record cut" (Housman 13-14). ( Should i say something here) Over all is the paragraph good?

Housman formed a dimensional poem that combined sophisticated language with colloquial British diction, as demonstrated by the usage of the word "lad", which is a common term that connotes youth: "Smart Lad, to slip betimes away/ From fields where glory does not stay (Housman 9-10). This has a melodic sound; it is lyrical and poignant like the youth it describes. It denotes the runner is considered fortunate that he passed away in the height of his profession, considering fame isn't eternal. He would eventually have to cope with the sorrow of viewing his records being beaten, as well as him losing the ability to be a great runner. (Could you please help me write a concluding sentence that summarizes the rhyme scheme, meter, diction, etc).

Houseman uses several rhetorical devices in regards to making his poem obtain artistic and realistic value.(Could you help me reword this?)Housman's use of metaphoric language such as "roses" and "garland" hint at the brevity and fragility of life. Like the beautiful flowers, which bloom only for a short time, then die and decay, the young runner's bloom is short-lived and sweet: "And from early though the laurel grows/It withers quicker than the rose" (Housman 13-14). Housman speaks of death using a poetic method, making death seem rather peaceful: Eyes the shady night has shut/Cannot see the record cut/And silence sounds no worse than cheers/After earth has stopped the ears (Housman 16-20). This has a harsher sound, with choppier consonants, more appropriate for the finality of death. It implies the young runner will not have to witness his fame gradually end, since he died victorious. Housman's use of imagery, exemplified by "Eyes the shady night has shut," provides the poem with artistic value. Houseman's imaginative wording brings beauty to death, diminishing its fearsome qualities.

Housman uses a metaphor to creatively express the imagery of the runner's youth. He compares him to the laurel, a European evergreen tree, used in ancient Greece to crown victorious Olympic athletes: And early though the laurel grows/It withers quicker than the rose" (Housman 11-12). The laurel, which represents the glory of youth, is like a flame, which, though it burns brighter than an ember, also burns out faster. The laurel grows "early," meaning it attains its peak young, but cannot maintain this level of perfection for long.

By intertwining the themes of youth and death, the author explores the fleeting nature of life and the cruel irony of death's ability to take life, while giving back eternal glory. The topic of youth is prominent in "To An Athlete Dying Young," since it focuses on the life of a young runner who dies before his time. Housman uses a metaphor to creatively express the imagery of the runner's youth. He compares him to the laurel, a European evergreen tree, used in ancient Greece to crown victorious Olympic athletes: And early though the laurel grows/It withers quicker than the rose" (Housman 11-12). The laurel, which represents the glory of youth, is like a flame, which, though it burns brighter than an ember, also burns out faster. The laurel grows "early," meaning it attains its peak young, but cannot maintain this level of perfection for long.

The topic of premature death is depicted as being justifiable, since the fate of the athlete who lives beyond his prime, Housman contemplates, is the fear of outliving one's glory or having "the name" die "before the man." In the sixth stanza it basically states that through death, one can be able to obtain their legacy, while if they were to live it would be easier for them to be forgotten: "So set, before its echoes fade, / The fleet foot on the sill of shade/And hold to the low lintel up/The still-defended challenge-cup." (Housman 24-28). In the "sill of shade," that world beyond this one, the young runner will still sustain his speed and his athletic ability. Even in death, he is the defender of the "challenge-cup" and eternally the people's champion.

Interpretation

The emotional effect of the poem, To an Athlete Dying Young, is found in the voice of its speaker, who, although not identified as such, could be interpreted as the personification of Death itself. Death's point of view, implies an ironic tone, suggesting death is not the fall of a man, yet the end of mortality. The speaker proposes the purpose of life is to achieve greatness. Through greatness one must die to be remembered as a legend. Death speaks of the runners as a champion, but justifies that in life, victors fade and become meaningless in the eyes of the masses. He saved the runner from humiliation, since he was bound to see his records being beaten, resulting in him being forgotten. By taking the young athlete's life, Death allows him to be a champion forever: Now you will not swell the rout/Of lads that wore their honors out (17-18). The athlete who died young will not be among those who outlived their own fame. The poem allows Death to turn what might be seen as gory into everlasting glory.

The purpose of the poem is to soften the blow of an early death by finding the positive aspects of it. It elicits feelings of hope and sorrow, a sort of poignant optimism. "It was based on a period of time when artists became concerned with the dimensions that were not present in day-to-day lives. They were concerned with sensitivity, sentimentality, and the feeling side of things." ( Could you help me put this in my own words) This relates to Housman's curiosity regarding in the way youth is so quickly faded, premature death, and the importance of living for the day. The latter refers to Horace in a classic poem named: Carpe Diem. (should i explain who carpe diem is?)

The Dying Youth's Divine Reply, written by Paramahansa Yogananda, also shares a similar purpose to, To an Athlete Dying Young. It's about a young man who awaits death, who has no qualms regarding him dying, since he obtains a strong faith that his death will bring him closer to God. Both poems depict a special understanding that premature death is simply justifiable if it allows one's soul to inhabit peace, rather than suffering. To appreciate life, one must be able to understand the beauty death obtains. Death is not a subject of evil, but it's a matter of bringing on closer to their spiritual beliefs, and to their legacy. Does this make sense? Does this explain the meaning of the poem, and the emotion affect it had on me?

Lastly, the novel "The Great Gatsby" written by F. Scott Fitzgerald is evident to the theme that is being manifested in "To An Athlete Dying Young". Both the story and poem obtain themes that are both relevant to the subject death. In reference to the novel, the story is based on a man named Gatsby who tries to transform his dreams into reality, but dies before he has the opportunity to do so. The concept Houseman was demonstrating in "To An Athlete Dying Young," relates to the overall idea suggested in "The Great Gatsby." The young runner in "To An Athlete Dying Young," basically dies before his time, which is justifiable to Housman, since if he were to live, his legacy would end up vanishing away, whereas in death his achievements won't be neglected later on by society. This is connected to Gatsby's death, since he dies before living his dreams, but his death is justifiable as well because Gatsby would never have the opportunity to execute his dreams, since in sense they were unrealistic. Rather than him living and being aware that he could never live the life he acquires, death (afterlife) is his only option for complete fulfillment. Both the young runner and Gatsby died at a time, which will allow others to see them as conscious figures who lived to achieve their goals. If Housman were to discuss Gatsby's death in light of his own poem, he would've probably made it clear that his death was his only option for happiness.

The poem looks at the devastation of life, while the story examines the devastation of dreams. Gatsby lost himself to his wicked dreams, for Housman would acknowledge this for he obviously believes death should be appreciated, rather then feared. He would have used Gatsby's situation, as prime evidence to why death can sometimes set an individual free from imprisonment, due to particular events in life keeping them hostage.

Dying young is considered by most to be one of the most tragic of fates. Yet, in Housman's mournful poem, To an Athlete Dying Young, a premature death is viewed in a positive light. It focuses on an admired, young runner who dies a champion. Housman shines light on the youthful athlete's death, by comparing the tragedy of his passing to the glory of his death. The major themes in the poem, death and youth, stem from the usage of metaphoric language, imagery, sophisticated literature, and rhyme. The speaker of the poem, who views the young runner's death as righteous, contributes to the purpose and the overall effect of the poem, which is compared to Paramahansa Yogananda's poem, The Dying Youth's Divine Reply. F. Scott Fitzgerald also depicts the subject of death in the novel, The Great Gatsby. Fitzgerald perception and Housman's insight of death will be compared, as well as the notion of dreams. Housman portrayed death as an alterative for the young athlete to achieve fame, and legacy. It shows that without death, life would have no meaning, "for death begins with life's first breath. And life begins at touch of death." Is this ending good? If not could you help me fix it?

Thanks Sarah sooo much, with this done, forsure i will close to finishing
sarahmk   
Aug 24, 2007
Essays / Poverty in Brazil, article analyzing [6]

Hello! I have to do an essay, but its kind of different. i have to basically analyze a article...here is what i have...can u tell me what you think. The parts bolded...i wanted to know if they were understandable and good...if not how could i change them and fix them up?? Below is what i am getting marked on...thanks for everything...you truly help!!!

once again thanks---here it is---you have helped me out soo much

In the Case Study, Poverty in Brazil, anthropologist Nancy Scheper-Hughes examines the effects of financialization on the Brazilian economy, during the 1980's. Global financialization had fundamentally altered the Brazilian economy, which created cultural changes, and had an effect on ordinary individuals behaviors and priorities. Nancy Schepher Hughes focuses on impoverishment that was prominent in a northeastern community entitled Bom Jesus. This community encountered an increase rate of infant mortality, widespread malnutrition, and substance abuse. Even though is this issue was transpiring the national statistics fabricated the reality that was transpiring in Brazil, mainly in the lower class society, since Brazil was experiencing a tremendous economic expansion. Due to the development of Brazil, it appears the priority of the citizens was a national reputation, rather than focusing on limiting poverty.

The acknowledged circumstance that resulted in subsistence families who were forced to impoverishment livelihoods, was the operation of sugar plantations that caused malnutrition, and disrupted the structure of local communities. Economically, Bom Jesus was dependent on sugar mills and the cane fields that surrounded them. Yet, this is a prime reason to why chronic hunger occurred, due too sugar cane displacing nutritious foods, which caused individuals within Bom Jesus to encounter malnutrition.

Families were broken up, due to men having to go to the city in search of work to support to their wives and children. Arguably, this could be one of the reasons that unemployed and impoverished residents used tranquilizers as a form of support, to help them cope with stress, since it would help them escape the harsh reality of life-due to poverty being a dominant issue, as well as woman having to raise a family alone.

Obtaining formidable information allowed Schper-Hughes to realize that the national statistics implication of the political and cultural life in Brazil was fallacious, since she encountered individuals who were in a unfortunate condition.

Scheper-Hughes uses particular techniques to investigates this problem, such as establishing close relations with women, as a method to construct a substantial analysis on the poverty epidemic that occurred in Bom Jesus. By forming bonds with these woman it appears she was able to view their struggles against poverty, social discrimination and hunger. Due to hunger being a major issue within Bom Jesus, numerous babies died, simply because of infant malnutrition.

Scheper-Hughes assembled information that compared the infant mortality rate in Brazil, to the rate in Bom Jesus, by providing statistics using facts from local registry books and church records. She also took the initiative to visit cemeteries, which would give her a better idea on how many babies passed away.

Scheper-Hughes juxtaposed both rates, regarding the national infant rate and the northeastern region rate. The side-by-side comparison made it easier to comprehend how the individuals in Bom Jesus , had an increasing rate of infants death, in contrast with the national rate that was lower. The national infant mortality was 57 per 1000, while the northeastern region had a rate of 116 per 1000. Scheper-Hughes also provides an analysis that demonstrates predominantly in 1986, the infant mortality rate was 211, but had increased to 493, during a terrible year.

The over all analysis of the case study, demonstrated that during the 1980's the people from "Bom Jesus" (Brazil) suffered greatly from drug abuse, hunger and having to cope with numerous infants dying. It appears that Nancy Scheper-Hughes conducted a study that was influenced by a structuralist perspective. The main concept of the article was based on structural and "everyday" political violence that occurred in Bom Jesus. Hunger and poverty are two prime examples of what structural violence is, which is demonstrated in the article.

Structural violence occurs whenever individuals are disadvantaged by political, economic and cultural traditions. The article demonstrates that politically Bom Jesus was treated unfair, and the problems individuals within the community were experiencing were being ignored. Brazil focused more on the nations reputation, then to assist individuals who were greatly suffering from poverty. Scheper-Hughes had to understand the structure of Bom Jesus to get a better idea of why this problems were occurring. By doing this, she formed relationships and used substantial information, to gain insight of why these individuals acted out such behaviors. This makes it clear that Scheper-Hughes was most likely from a structuralist's "school of thought."

In addition, Scheper-Hughes formed a study that demonstrated how Bom Jesus had experience various predicaments. It becomes clear that these issues transpired, due to families being broken up, malnutrition, the government not focusing on the problems within Bom Jesus, and poverty. Scheper-Hughes took the initiative to study this problem, and to discover that the national statistics didn't reflect the true reality of Brazil.
sarahmk   
Aug 24, 2007
Writing Feedback / Essay on September 11, 2001 [4]

can you tell me what you think, and help me with my grammer mistakes and spelling. thanks

6 marks for summary-question1
6 marks for explaining assumptions made about good and evil-question

1) The letters presented are based on different opinions stated by individuals, regarding the incident that occurred on September 11, 2001. Internationally, people wrote letters to an online BBC forum where they voiced their point of view, in respect to their culture, faith, tradition and perspective on politics. One group of individuals believed the terrorism that occurred in America was non-justifiable, while the other group took an Anti-American approach, expressing their feelings towards the lack of ethics in the American culture.

Dr. Mohammed Siddique from Sri Lanka labeled the terrorists as "perpetrators", and suggested their actions were nothing less then horrendous. He focuses on defending the religion of Islam, due to the terrorists proclaiming they executed out such animosity for the Muslim people. Mohammed Siddique makes it clear that Islam does not condone such atrocity, for Muslims are "prohibited to kill non-combatants, children and woman, as well as individuals who have taken shelter in places of worship even during a war." He furthers his argument by stating that the actions practiced by the terrorists were nowhere near being justifiable or acceptable.

On the contrary, Sompone, Kent from WA, USA has an opposed argument to Dr. Mohammed Siddique. Sompone discusses the horror he experienced as a child when the US Air Force bombed South East Asia. In a sense, he believes this was bound to happen to the American people, due to the horrible acts they have executed out in the past to other nations. He states "The taste of pain and suffering is so great that only the person who experiences the real thing by himself can understand," which proves he classifies America as a "power hungry" nation that will now be able to feel the pain they caused others. Sompone sees this as a wake up call, which should be used as a method for America to politically, and substantially change for the better.

Unlike, Kent Sompone who was rather Anti-American, Eda and Istanbul from Turkey as well as Abdul Qaiyum Nagorri, Manama from Bahrain both view the actions of the hijackers as an unprovoked act. Eda and Istanbul sympathize with the Americans, since they state that Turkey experienced terrorism as well, and ended up losing several citizens. Abdul Qaiyum Nagoori describes what happened on September 11th, 2001, as "a barbaric attack." He then furthers his statement by saying that the method chosen by the terrorists to seek revenge on America, was completely wrongful, and should not be done to any nation.

Juergen Dudek from Australia takes a different approach to the issue, compared to Eda/Istanbul, and Abdul Qaiyum Nagoori. Juergen clearly expresses the fact that many countries in the last decade encountered terror, but none of them received the same "special treatment" that America has. He or she follows by stating that if other nations who faced the same agony as Americans were provided with the same amount of support, they would've been able to surmount their feelings of grief and sorrow. In opposition to what was previously stated, Olga and Aram from Dnipropetrovsk city, Ukraine, give their deepest sympathies to the American people. They also state the people of Ukraine commiserate for the American people, as well as them being ultimately against what transpired on September 11th 2001.

Raja Chandran from Saudi Arabia states that what happened was "terrorism to the core," which implies it was the biggest terrorist attack that could possibly happen to any nation. Raja labeled the perpetrators as culprits who should be brought to justice. It states in the letter that the hijackers should be brought to the book----which connotes the Quran. Furthermore, Raja appears to be shocked that such an act(security lapse) could take place in America, which is why he or she asks a question about how could such an organized, unprecedented terrorist act be undetected? This question is proof that he or she is confused on how such an attack could happen to America. Ingibjorg from Iceland also feels compassion for the victims and their families that lost a life or a loved one in New York and Washington, but Ingibjorg provides a justifiable reason to why the hijackers killed approximately 3500 individuals.

In the previous letter, Raja Chandran clearly stated that their would be no reason that could justify the awful acts----Plane crashing into the World Trade Center in New York City, and the plane that crashed into the Pentagon, killing about 200 people, as well as the fourth plane that crashed into an open field that killed all the individuals on board--but Ingibjorg believes they may of had a "sufficient"objective. Ingibjorg uses the term "civilized world" to describe superior nations-who need to focus on exactly why did this incident actually occur, and what generated the "anger behind the attacks." Ingibjorg furthers his argument by holding the US policy in the Middle East accountable, for they used this as a method to gain economical and political power. The US policy in the Middle East was mainly used for manipulating to achieve supremacy, rather then to assist innocent citizens. The letter finishes off by stating that western civilization, needs to stop trying to acquire power, and focus on an alternative that can end extreme terrorism----basically Ingibjorg was saying, America was a target due to their lack of compassion to the innocent individuals they harmed just to be recognized as being a superior nation.

Overall the letters were written from individuals of different cultures, political systems and religious faiths that had distinguished opinions on September 11, 2001. The set of extracts allowed one to see that internationally our world needs to come together to find a method to form a sense of peace and happiness amongst different cultures, faiths, and nationalities, rather then concentrating on political power.

2) The assumption of good and evil presented in articles:

Firstly, some of the letters look at this issue from a political perspective, while others tend to take an emotional approach when it came to voicing their opinion. Some of the letters suggest America is a "good" country, while others talk about the devastation America has caused other nations. This begs the question: Is America predominantly a "good" country, who assists other nations in a positive way? Or is America an "evil" country who caused other nations harm, which is why this brutal attack happened? The assumption of what's good and evil in the article basically derives from a religious standpoint. Majority of the individuals who wrote the letters, perceive America as the "victim", rather then the enemy, due to them being the ones who suffered. It's not only against the law, but it's a crucial sin-"Not to Murder"-which is exactly what the hijackers did. This makes America appear as a "good" nation, while the terrorists emerge as "evil". This somewhat influenced the perspectives of the individuals, since they view the hijackers as culprits who "murdered", but not as individuals who were angered by the treatment they received from America.

Even though the actions of the hijackers were an act of evil, America isn't an exemplary nation. Few letters demonstrate that "power" is a source of evil, since what happened on September 11th 2001 was a method to acquire supremacy. America mainly gained their political and economical status by being a "power hungry" country. By gaining such power, America too acted out immorality, such as bombing other nations, and forming US policies in foreign countries, which was used as a method to achieve sovereignty. Ingibjorg and Juergen Dudek establish the fact that America manipulated their power, to benefit only Americans, but not all countries internationally-this is an evil method. America substantially bettered their country, by harming others.

In the first letter, it suggests that America appears to be "good" and Muslims are "evil", which is why Muhammed Siddique feels obligated to protect Islam. When America attacked other countries they were publicized and presented as being "heroic figures", but when a few Muslims execute out an evil act, all Muslims get rationalized for being "immoral." In the past, America has killed numerous innocent civilians, but they are praised and awarded, well the hijackers are viewed as "villains." It becomes obvious that majority of the letters suggested the Hijackers were evil, and the Americans were "righteous", but what has to be questioned is, why did the hijackers actually bomb America? Was it a form of revenge (a form of evil)? Or was it simply that they just had enough of America abusing their superiority, especially on their people?
sarahmk   
Aug 25, 2007
Essays / Poverty in Brazil, article analyzing [6]

subsequently in the 1980's. - I'm not sure what this means. Do you mean "subsequent to the 1980s"?

what does subsequent mean? does it mean during..

i was trying to say during the 1980's
sarahmk   
Aug 26, 2007
Writing Feedback / Smoking by-laws [NEW]

12 marks for a summary that includes two conditions that led to the change in policy-where appropriate, agreements are supported by points made in the lesson regarding factors that encourage change

12 mark for including 2 obstacles to social change

12 marks for summary being organized, and includes an introduction, main body and conclusion
.

Hello...here is another essay looool...i have a lot of essays to hand in lol...thanks once again. I was wondering if you could look over it and tell me what you think. Thanks

Also can you tell me if my conclusion is alright

It can be argued that smoking is currently an increasing trend that is causing societal conflicts amongst the public, and government officials. This debatable issue, can be viewed from two different perspectives: A frequent argument opposing the government's legal prohibitions on restricting public smoking, is that they violate the rights of individuals (smokers) and property owners. However, this argument can be countered by public polices and health regulations that suggest individuals should be able to patronize particular establishments, without being exposed to health risks-mainly chronic and acute diseases. Smoking restrictions in public venues stems from the fact that medical studies are demonstrating that individuals can be affected with illnesses, such as heart disease and cancer, due to publicized smoking. It becomes the obvious that the modification of Canada's policy, regarding localized smoking was primarily because of the increasing rate of second-hand smoke, and health hazards. Also, Canada's demographics and leadership have to do with the alternation of smoking policies. Even though this appears as a significant achievement, economically the tobacco industry acquires millions of dollars annually. By prohibiting public smoking it may economically affect Canada, due to the tobacco industry being a profitable corporation. This could also have a negative impact on businesses, such as restaurants, bars, etc. Also this can be viewed as a prejudiced act that demonizes smokers, and is in favor of non-smokers, rather then accommodating a solution that benefits society as a whole.

Economically and culturally, smoking is now acknowledged as the "norm" within society. Yet the issue of prohibiting public smoking erupts various disagreements. Health officials regard this problem as "urgent," due it affecting the health of other human beings. Medial studies demonstrate that second-hand smoke is linked to illnesses such as heart disease and cancer, resulting in up to 2600 people in Ontario dying annually. Arguably, this emerges as one of the issues that led to change in policy. Passive smoking and involuntary smoking are a hazard to society, which is why laws are implementing bans in public venues. As smoking bans become widespread, non smokers' exposure to second-hand smoke will decline. Smoke-free bylaws are a major change in policy, but it simply occurred due to Canada's demographics.

Majority of the individuals in Canada are non-smokers, and most likely would rather attend public places, especially work, without being at risk of illnesses. Basically, Canada's demographics are in favor of non-smokers, considering most of the population does not smoke tobacco. Other individuals may view this as "biased," but the leadership of Canada reflects the needs of the people. The municipal government has already taken great measures across Canada to illegalize public smoking, especially in Ontario. Two-thirds of Ontario residents are able to attend eateries that practice smoke-free bylaws. Premier Dalton McGuinty's media director Audrey Gouskous made it clear that the government of Ontario is maintaining a commitment to the non-smoking policy. The leadership of certain provinces is another objective to why there has been a strict restriction in policy, due to individuals come to a realization that second-hand smoke is preventable.

Furthermore, smoking bans that are heavily advocated by potential patrons, medical and government officials, maybe advantageous to non-smokers, but what about business revenues, as well as the rights of individuals. This change in policy, could cause major obstacles for property owners, and major industries, predominately the tobacco industry. Delhi and Simcoe oppose the smoking bylaws, since neglects the needs of tobacco farmers. They find it completely unjustly that tobacco farmers may have to smoke outside of their work, but it appears it just might occur, due to Liberals promising prohibitions on smoking in workplaces and public buildings will be established.

Aylmars Mayor Bob Habkirk appears to be neutral in regards to the recent phenomena-smoking bylaws. Restaurants in Aylmars are adequately divided into two sections for smokers and non-smokers. John Moylan who is in charge of Tillsbourg's (restaurant) economic development committee, finds the recent regulations as something that could jeopardize restaurants. Like other individuals who are involved with businesses that maybe affected by this rule, Moylan suggests that those in power should form a decision that benefits both sides-smokers and non-smokers. Yet, this regulation helped bar and restaurant revenues in New York, considering the revenues rose 12% in the first months of its smoking ban.

On the contrary, Barry McKay who is the head of the Ottawa-based Pub and Bar Coalition of Canada believes the provincial's strategy targeting public smoking, will cause hundreds of bars to go out of business. McKay sees this as a personal attack toward smokers and the tobacco industry, since he suggests other agreements could've been arranged, such as ventilation laws for bars and restaurants. Jason Lietaer, who is the general manager of the Ontario Flue0Cured Tobacco Growers Marketing Board in Tillsonburg, provides factual evidence that economically the tobacco industry earns $513 million and employs 14,000. This a major aspect of Canada's economy, which can be affected by the smoke-free bylaws, if public places ban smoking. This situation may result in taxes increasing, as well an alienation amongst taxpaying Ontarians, due to the smuggling and non-smoking legislation.

Additionally, the conditions in the change policy were mainly caused by the demographics of Canada, proposing majority of Canadians are non-smokers, and are at risk of various illnesses. The leadership in Canada is suggesting a new era for Canadians to follow, in regards to health and safety. Provincial leaders and medical officials are looking out for the well being of humanity, rather then the reduced business revenues. Even though this law may be viewed as offensive, since smokers may feel demonized, innocent people are dying annually due to second-hand smoke. This begs the question: What's more important, the safety of society, or Canada's economy? Property owners will continue to make conscious decisions that smoking should be allowed, and if a non-smoker attends a public venue that practices smoking, it's their option. While medical officials argued that individuals should have the freedom to attend places without being at risk of receiving diseases. But truly, the main reason why this argument is so major, is because Canada practices a society that benefits all, but in this case, only non-smokers are at an advantage, while smokers, and individuals who own public venues are left unsatisfied.
sarahmk   
Aug 29, 2007
Essays / Essay review on an article called "Pleasantville" [4]

Part A
Had to review an article called "Pleasantville" and write about major social changes that were in the article.

Part B: Analyzing Change

Psychological Analysis

-Have to write two questions a psychologist would ask about womens rights
-Write a paragrapgh that analyzes social from perspectiv of cognitive dissonance theory

Sociological Analysis

-Write 2 questions that a sociologist about sex
-Write a paragraph that analyzes the social change (sex) according to sociolgical model

Anthropological Analysis

-Write two questions that an anthropologists would ask, regarding sex
-Write a paragraphy that analyzes the social change from the interaction theory of anthropology.

Part C: Have to write a concluding paragraph that identifies the major conditions and obstacles to the social changes identifed in Part A

Being Marked on
-Clearly identifies more than three elements of social change from the reading-Part A
-Suggests three or more logical and realistic conditions and three or more logical and realistic barriers to social change- Part C

Grammar, strong sentences, and structure. Ideas are clear and coherent


Part A

Our society has significantly been modified since the 1950's, due to a drastic change in terms of pop culture, morals, religion, relationships, education, openness regarding sexuality, and advanced technology. In the article "Pleasantville," the topic of sex is discussed, which can be exemplified by two events: One being when Mary Sue talks to her mother about masturbation and when the basketball player misses his shot after he had sex. When sparks from the emerging future begin to take over the blandness in the movie, Mary Sue becomes open with her mother, in regards to sexuality. "Pleasantville" is demonstrated for being "perfect," which explains why when the basketball player chose to have sex, he missed the shot. This event could be examined from two different perspectives: One being that he missed the shot, simply because in a perfect society, premarital sex doesn't occur. So by him missing the shot, it symbolizes he did something wrongful. Or it could simply because of change. By him having partaking in sexual intercourse, he was no longer apart of that perfect gimmick, which the 1950's tried to establish. Its evidence that he was moving towards the future, where individuals are able to realize that a "perfect" world doesn't exist.

Also the education system in the 1950's appears to be completely different from the education system that students are apart of today. In the article it states that the lessons in the geography class were limited, clearly because back then they didn't have the advanced technology we have presently. It states in the letter that the world literally ended at the city limits, but today individuals are provided with an education that teaches them about international issues and different nations histories. Internationally, technology allows individuals to understand our world as a whole, rather then just our own nation and culture.

The perceptions' ands stereotypes of genders have changed, since the 1950's, as well. Mary Sue's mother doesn't have time for herself, mainly because back then typically women in general were associated with being a "housewife." Women in today's society are treated equally, and are able to establish well-balanced lifestyles. Also in the articles the children start appearing in color, which implies that in the future individuals will be more educated and curious about certain aspects of life.

Part B
Psychological Analysis


1.Was the attitudes of individuals influenced by the media or politics, in regards to equal rights amongst women and men?

2.Even though individuals' attitudes towards women rights have substantially changed throughout the years. Has the change in Canada's social policy made it easier for women to live balanced lifestyles? Or has it made it more difficult?

Arguably, the image and perception of the female sex remains unjustly and biased. Rather then the traditional housewife, women are still forced to experienced discrimination, especially when it comes to the negative representations of women portrayed by the media. Even though the female gender has progressed, in terms of equality, women still remain inferior to the male gender. This may cause females to question their position in society as well as their contribution. The belief that women are inferior to men, may influence the career choices females choose, as well as their goals and ambitions. This can cause them to form attitudes that conflict with each other, due to them being confused and ambiguous about their role in society .

For stance, in society particular occupations are linked to the male gender, while other careers are associated with the female sex. These stereotypes can cause females to choose a career or job that is related to their sex, even if they would rather become an engineer or doctor. Also if a female is in a career filled with male co-workers, she may feel inferior, and question if she is as good at the job as her male colleagues. Even if a female wants to get into a "male" occupation, she may choose not to, if her family and friends disapprove. In society, women may feel a sense of dissonance, since they are forced by stereotypes and fallacious portrayals, to establish certain lifestyles. Living in a state of dissonance, can cause females in general, to live in a wrongful state of mind, where their attitudes conflict, which can result in them living an unsatisfied life.

Sociological Analysis

1)What caused the change of views regarding sex within our society?
2)How do attitudes towards premarital sex differ across different ethnic and religious groups?

Change: Perspectives on Sex

Direction: Positive: Individuals are able to open up, regarding their sexuality. Being able to have sex before marriage, can be seen as "freedom," whereas in the past individuals had to wait to marriage, even if it wasn't their choice.

Negative: Individuals are more likely to receive diseases if not protecting themselves, and if they have numerous sexual partners. Sex has also become mainstream, which is showcased in adult films, music covers, music videos, etc, which is considered immoral-sex has lost its significance and importance amongst society, which can be evident to why marriages are no longer successful.

Rate: Very fast-The influence can be blamed on the media, ones up bringing, peer pressure and education.

Source: Exogenous: Individuals may be influenced by other nations, predominately America (porn industry and pop culture), to engaged in sexual intercourse before marriage or with various sexual partners.

Endogenous: Peer-Pressure, lack of religious beliefs, and lack of education, within our society.

Controllability: Its hard to control, since individuals are already adjusted to the "fast pace" lifestyle. Within our society, values and morals no longer have significance, since pop culture the and media control the way individuals think. When society was controlled by religious beliefs, sex was sacred. Now that society is controlled by the media, sex is something that isn't as important, since it's showcased in movies, magazine covers, etc.

Anthropological Analysis

1.What aspects of Canadian culture in today's society, influenced the way individuals perceive sex? (Compared to the old Canadian culture, who had practiced a different perception of sex.)

2.How does Canadians perspectives on sexuality, compare to individuals from a religious based country, such as Iran? And a country such as Brazil, where sex is exploited?

Canada is a diverse country, in terms of nationalities, religion, sexuality, etc, which has a major influenced on how sex is perceived within our society. Religious believers and advocates believe sex is something sacred amongst a husband and his wife. Even though Canada consists of numerous religious groups, internationally individuals are becoming liberated, and are separating themselves from religious beliefs.

Due to Canada be primarily a multi-cultural country, individuals are influenced by each others customs. For instance, a older Muslim may view sex as something that should be saved for marriage, but a younger Muslim may not see sex as essential, due to them being raised in a modernized society. The European culture is open when it comes to sexuality, since exposing nudity and sex are considered the norm in majority of European countries. This implies that if an individual of European descent, moves to Canada, he or she may change individuals perspectives on sexuality- sexual intercourse, homosexuality, polygamy, etc.

Individuals who strongly practice "pop culture," would most likely perceive sex as something that shouldn't be taken so seriously, due to the media exploiting sex. Compared to an individual who comes from a religious based country that opposes promiscuous behavior. The Caribbean culture and Hip Hop culture also practices sexuality, especially when it comes to entertainment (dancing and music). This could influence individuals in Canada, predominately Black people who are raised in a Hip Hop/ Caribbean Community.

Part C

Arguably, society's standards of sexual content and sexual norms can be influenced by religious beliefs or social and environmental conditions. Sexuality is a fundamental aspect of human behavior and culture, since its linked to reproduction, marriage, and love. Traditional religious beliefs, view sexual activity as being something that should be shared amongst a man and a woman in marriage. Today' societal religious beliefs are modernized, due to individuals residing in a equalized society. Conditions that could've led to this social change (sex), could be linked to women equality rights, new discoveries (in respect to science) and modernized religious ideas. Traditionally, females use to be inferior to the male gender. Back then, men would prefer a female who was a virgin and pure. Now that women have equal rights as men, they are no longer forced to feel obligated to save themselves (virginity) for marriage. Presently, we are in the era of science, agnostic views, modernization religious beliefs, etc. Individuals aren't practicing the traditional views on sexuality, since our society is now tolerant of issues (homosexuality, abortions, etc) that (old-fashioned) society once condemned. The obstacles that come along with this are: The increasing rate of abortions, sexually transmitted diseases and early adolescent pregnancy.

Throughout the years technology and education have advanced within our society. Conditions that could've led to advanced technology are new discoveries, new ideas, changes in natural environment and new leadership. Individuals are becoming more intellectual, and creative, which is resulting them inventing more machinery, tools, etc. Present leaders put more money into technology, in regards to wars, products, machinery, medical equipment, etc. whereas in the 1950's technology wasn't as popular, due to it not being as advanced as it is today. Obstacles that came along with advanced technoloy are: It's costly (money invested into technoloy/ science, can be put into world issue), technoloy can be blamed for world disasters (global warming, and pollution), technology is being used in the wrong way (nuclear weapons and guns) and lastly, technology is causing laziness amongst mankind (individuals are able to work from home, do school at home, pay bills over internet). This results in human beings not getting the nutrition and exercise they need, which can cause heart diseases, diabetes, etc.

Conditions that could of led to the social change, regarding the education system, can be new ideas, new discoveries, change in leadership, change in demographics, changes in the natural environment, and change in culture. Obstacles and barriers that came along with this are: Money issues-materials, teachers, post secondary education, etc. As well as individuals' traditional cultural values not being taught-education within our society is primarily based on European Culture, especially in social studies classes. This could also cause individuals to drop out, if they feel the school system is biased, and unequal-individuals from poverty can't afford to go to college/university.

Lastly, certain conditions that led to women receiving equal rights as men, where change in ideas (women became more involved in politics, and contributed to society by forming substantial ideas), change in culture (women became acknowledged for not only being desirable but as intelligent-Oprah Winfrey, Barbara Walters, etc) , change in demographics (more women came to Canada from different nations) and change in leadership (female advocates and activists, fought for women rights). Some barriers to this social change are: One reason of marriages failing is that men feel inferior to their wife, due her having a better career or financially making more money than him. Even though women are considered "equal," their sexuality is exploited in music videos, movies, etc. Women still need to work harder than men, to be successful and to be taken seriously. Also, women are having less children, due to them focusing on their careers, rather than starting a family. Lastly, women from different cultures within our society, may neglect their values, and customs, due to them being influenced by societies modernization morals. This could anger families, due to women being given the right to marry whom ever-interracial couples (may be a sin or wrongful in certain religions).
sarahmk   
Aug 29, 2007
Essays / Essay on not regretting things - how to start? [8]

This may sound weird, but sometimes starting an essay with a powerful quote...really gives the essay a good introduction, and makes the reader want to read on.
sarahmk   
Sep 3, 2007
Writing Feedback / Essay on Margaret Mead - looking at other cultures to better understand the complexities of human [2]

I had to written a short essay--information on Margaret Mead

The information has to include Basic Information (Their field of science, when and were she was born and died)-8 Marks

Major Accomplishments (6 marks)
What theories did she deduce or support...and what are some current applications of this theory--11 marks

Her hardships and fame (2 Marks)
My opinion of her (5 marks)
and ofcourse the writing has to be clear and concise (8marks)


Born Dec, 16 1901, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia., US.

Margaret Mead was a prominent, woman archaeologist who educated Americans about the value of looking precisely and openly at other cultures to better understand the complexities of being human. She was a major proponent of women's rights, who shone light on issues that allowed individuals to substantially understand human nature.

Mead was married three times within her lifetime to three different anthropologists. She was first married ti Luther Cressman, followed by Reo Fortune and then later on she got wedded to Gregory Bateson (1936-1950), whom she had a daughter with, named Mary Catherine Bateson. There was also rumors that Mead was involved in a lesbian relationships with Ruth Bredict, due to them establishing an exceptionally close bond. She is usually associated with being the first individual to actually study child rearing in depth.

Mead was the first female anthropologist to become president of the American Association for the Advancement of Science (). She was awarded a gold medla by the society for Women Geographers, as well as the Presidential Medal of Freedom posthumously in 1979. Mead was an influential writer, explorer and teacher, who worked in the Department of Anthropology located at the American Museum of Natural History. In 1964 she was appointed Curator of the American Museum of Natural History to 1969, which was one of her greatest achievements.

After studying one year at DePauw University (1919), then transferring to Barnard College where she received her Bachelor's degree (1923), she attended Columbia University, where she earned her Ph.D (1929). During her time at Columbia University, she studied with Professor Franz Boas and his assistant Dr. Ruth Benedict before earning her Master's Degree in 1924. Mead's studies primarily concentrated on child-rearing, culture, sexuality and personality within Pacific nations, and America's society. Two Pacific regions Mead focused on were Samoa and New Guinea, which resulted in ethnographies such as Coming Age in Samoa (1928) and Growing up in New Guinea (1930).

At the age of twenty-three she traveled to the South Pacific to conduct research for her first doctoral dissertation. This research turned into her best-seller, "Coming of Age in Samoa," which shines light on adolescent sexual behavior in a Polynesian society. It focuses on the development of young females within Samoa, in contrast to the female youth within America's society. Throughout these ethnographic findings, Mead was able to discover that culture influences personality, not genetics.

"Growing up in New Guinea," focuses on the Arapesh, Mudugumor and Tchambuli cultures (tribes). Her fieldwork consisted of insightful information, regarding their family lives, exploring their feelings towards sex and marriage as well as child-rearing.

"Sex and Temperament in Three Primitive Societies" (1935) and "Male and Female" (1949) concentrates on how particular cultures in the Pacific region view femininity and masculinity. These books reflect some of the theories Mead supported, regarding gender roles among peoples of the Pacific and an analysation of sexual patterns within America's society. Her anthropological examination of Pacific island tribes, truly analyses the dynamics of primitive cultures, in relation to America's modernized perception of "male" and "female."

Mead disproved of the theory that masculine and feminine roles were innate and unchangeable. Her research during her stay in New Guinea, allowed her to realize that there was a difference in attitudes and identification of male and females roles within their culture, compared to America, where the male gender is portrayed as being superior over the female sex. Mead always examined and created theories based on how women and men viewed their femaleness and maleness in the twentieth century.

Mead addresses the theory that various so-called masculine and feminine characteristics are not based on fundamental sex differences, but reflect the cultural conditioning of different societies. These arguments could be found in her novel New Samoa, in which was questioned by Australian anthropologist Derek Freeman, in his published novel entitled "Margaret Mead and Samoa: The Making of an Anthropological Myth" (1983).

Freedom proclaimed that Mead's conclusions of the adolescent behaviour in Samoa, were fallacious and not relevant facts. Arguments surround this controversy, since some stated that the individuals who were interviewed by Mead, were older when Freeman questioned them. Due to them being older, it could've caused their opinions to change regarding sexuality, since they have matured. While others claimed that when Freedom visited Samoa their ideologies changed, due to their culture being influenced by western civilization.

Regardless of the controversy, Mead remains one of the most acknowledged archeologist, due to her bringing awareness regarding serious issues into the public consciousness. Margaret died in 1978 having lived a much enriched life. I strong believe, that she helped changed the women's movement, in terms of forming equality amongst both genders. The issues she explored, allowed Americans to view how the structure of their society was unbalanced and unequal.

Mead open the doors for women today, so that females could voice their opinions and ideas, without being criticized, due to them being a woman. Even though Mead endured hardships, due to her novel "Coming to Samoa," being questioned by Derek Freeman, her divorces and the fact that she was a women who was trying to make a difference, in a time where males were acknowledged for obtaining power.

She will always be remembered. Not for the fact that she has written 44 books and over 100 articles translated in different languages. Or that she won various awards for achievements (President of Society for Applied Anthropology, the World Federation of Mental Health, and the American Anthropological Association.) , but for being a forceful, and brilliant entity who had a major impact on the world of anthropology.
sarahmk   
Jan 30, 2008
Writing Feedback / The Great Gatsby - help with my grammar and essay organization [21]

Hello, how are you? I had to write a essay about the novel The Great Gatsby written by F.Scott Fitzgerald. Everything in the novel is seen in two ways: on the one hand as glamorous, romantic and exciting and on the other as crude, corrupt or even disgusting. this double vision applies to people, places and events.

The essay must:
-Be unified--body paragraphs must be effectively linked and logical--introduction presents general statement about two perspectives---conclusion summarizes or draws together main pains including a statement about the signifance.

-almost no spelling or grammar errors
-identifies more than three examples of people, places and events being viewed in different or opposing ways.
-explains the double perspective and supports the explanation with relevant examples; discusses the extent to which the narrator (Nick) is in and not in Gatsby's world.

I mainly need help with my grammar, and the order of my paragraphs (effectively linked). I also want to know if the essay is understandable and organized...anything will help. Thanks soo much!!

hello...i talked to my teacher, and he read my essay, this is what he said,:
1)You've used an amazing amount of facts in this paper - too many. It's overwhelming. And I feel that you could shorten this quite a bit.

2)You've made countless references to the text. But after awhile I started to lose track of what the point was - as to why you were telling me all this.

3)ntroduction clearly presents thesis or topic. Body paragraphs are unified and logically ordered, one for each supporting point. Conclusion summarizes main points and provides closure.Your writing style is getting lost - buried underneath the volume of facts. I think you could cut this in half.

4)Essay minimally follows format prescribed in assignment or MLA. Spelling and/or grammar errors distract the reader.

This was his comment: You've done an unbelievable amount of research. But now you need to take the time to edit your work. Reduce the length by about half. And don't repeat any ideas or concepts. Put as much emphasis on your writing style as you have on your research. Facts alone don't constitute an essay. Communicate a concrete message. Write this as if you were actually trying to say something to someone.

I was wondering if you could help me out, what do you think i did too take out? And just how to make it overall better...THANKS
sarahmk   
Feb 2, 2008
Writing Feedback / The Great Gatsby - help with my grammar and essay organization [21]

Hello Sarah, I still need help on this essay. I'm having such a hard time showing my understanding of the idea behind the quotation by paraphasing or using new terms. I was wondering if you could help me in paraphasing, with the bolded parts.

I was also wondering if you could tell me what a typo is?

Also if my introduction and conclusion embody whats expected to achieve a level four?Thanks so much. Hopefully with this information, it can help me to form a better essay.

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sarahmk   
Feb 5, 2008
Writing Feedback / Examining the poem "To An Athlete Dying Young" By A.E Housman [36]

hey sarah...i've been working on this essay for years, and i'm still not getting anywhere. i really need help, i find my essay is full of repetition.

i want to organize it as into, theme of youth, theme of death, reflections, comparsion, conclusion. but i dont know how to do it, i'm completely confused. The bolded parts are the ones that need serious help. Can you tell what needs to be changed, so it flows and sounds like a level 4 rather than a level 2. Can you also help me with my grammar and spelling, thanks so much.

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sarahmk   
Feb 5, 2008
Writing Feedback / Examining the poem "To An Athlete Dying Young" By A.E Housman [36]

I fixed up this paragraph, but i was wondering, if my interpretion of the quote and diction makes sense.

The theme of youth is prominent in "To An Athelete Dying Young," since it focuses on the life of a young runner who dies before his time, in career where fame is eternal: "Smart Lad, to slip betimes away/ From fields where glory does not stay" (Housman 9-10). Housman formed a dimensional poem that combined sophisticated language with British dialogue, which can be proven by the usage of the word "lad", which is a common term that connotes youth. ------ I'm having a difficult time finding quotes in the poem to connect to youth.

"Eyes the shady night has shut/ Cannot see the record cut, And silence sounds no worse than cheers/ After earth has stopped the ears" (Housman 13-14). Can you help me connect this poem somewhat to youth, this is what i said: It appears Housman believes it was justified for the runner dying young, so he wouldn't have to cope with the sorrow of viewing his records being beaten, as well as him losing the ability to be a great runner. Or does it connect more to death : The fourth stanza is basically stating that through death, one can be able to obtain their legacy, and become legendary, while if they were to live, it would be easier for them to be forgotten

The subject of death is also depicted in the poem through the usage of diction, imagery and metaphors. The metaphoric language becomes recognizable, due to terms such as "roses," and "garland," being exerted to represent the runner, as well as life. For instance, the terms "garland" (flowers), and "roses" don't live for a long period of time (both a subject of decay), which relates to the death of the runner. This language contributes to the purpose Housman was instituting, since the subject discussed in the poem is basically an examination of death opposed to life. The young runner is also compared to a "laurel," which denotes a European evergreen tree: And early though the laurel grows/It withers quicker than the rose" (Housman 11-12). ------

are these alright?
sarahmk   
Feb 6, 2008
Writing Feedback / Examining the poem "To An Athlete Dying Young" By A.E Housman [36]

i was wondering if this opening statement thats bolded for the paragraph for the theme death, if you can help me fix it:

[b]In "To An Athlete Dying Young," the theme of premature death is depicted as being "justifiable," since the fate of the athlete who lives beyond his prime, Housman speculates, is the fear of outliving one's glory or having "the name" die "before the man."

...
sarahmk   
Feb 6, 2008
Writing Feedback / Examining the poem "To An Athlete Dying Young" By A.E Housman [36]

Sarah, i was also wondering if you could help me with my introduction that i fixed up, as well as the last message i left before this one. My introfuction has to have a general statement about Housman's poem...does my intro make sense, and does it have a general statement?Also could you help me fix up my ending statement for my introduction. Thanks, have helped me out so much. once again thank you

Ashly Montagu once stated, "The idea is to die young as late as possible," while Mark Twain said, "The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."

...
sarahmk   
Feb 6, 2008
Writing Feedback / Examining the poem "To An Athlete Dying Young" By A.E Housman [36]

I'm sorry this is another intro, can you tell me what one is also better? I added the bolded part...

Ashly Montagu once stated, "The idea is to die young as late as possible," while Mark Twain said, "The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time." A.E. Houseman, in the tragic poem 'To an Athlete Dying Young," examines the themes of youth and premature death.

...
sarahmk   
Feb 7, 2008
Writing Feedback / The Great Gatsby - help with my grammar and essay organization [21]

Hey sarah...i fixed up this essay, i cut it from 5000-3400. I was wondering if you could help me with my sentence construction. Can you help me with my awkward sentences, and grammar.

Can you also help me with the bolded areas...i fixed up my intro and conclusion, can you also tell me if its okay?

Thanks sooo much
sarahmk   
Feb 7, 2008
Writing Feedback / Examining the poem "To An Athlete Dying Young" By A.E Housman [36]

hey Sarah could you help me with this, thanks

Can you also help me with explainging this quote: "Now you will not swell the rout/Of lads that wore their honors out/Runners whom renown outran/And the name died before the man.

also this one: "Now you will not swell the rout/Of lads that wore their honours out/Runners whom renown outran/And the name died before the man" (Housman 17-20).

This is what i said: In this stanza, Housman uses "wore" to symbolize the end of other "young men" whose fame (renown) basically "deteriorated" before they passed away.

Also does this make sense: . This is proof that the speaker in the poem maybe a close friend to the runner, perhaps a trainer who has been through a similar situation, where they were able to witness an acknowledged athlete, whose career gradually fell apart when they aged. This may be the reason why the anonymous speaker suggests that it was acceptable for the runner to die young, then to encounter humiliation of viewing his record being broken, and then being forgotten. The speaker is obliviously stating that even though the runner is physically gone, the remembrance of his accomplishments won't be oblivious to future generations.
sarahmk   
Feb 8, 2008
Writing Feedback / The Great Gatsby - help with my grammar and essay organization [21]

Thanks so much you have tremendously helped me out. I still need a little more help though.

Even though Nick is shown to be capable of morally corrupt acts, he is still capable of forming a romantic relationship with Jordan. --Is there a way i could say this without saying capable twice?

Thank you so much!!!
sarahmk   
Feb 8, 2008
Writing Feedback / Examining the poem "To An Athlete Dying Young" By A.E Housman [36]

Thanks once again, i still need to some help though:

The laurel grows "early," meaning it attains its peak young, but cannot maintain this level of perfection for long. By using words such as "laurel," it allows the reader to be imaginative, since Housman uses imagery, to establish a reality-based poem that also embodies creativity. ---Could you help me with this?

In "To An Athlete Dying Young," the theme of premature death is depicted as being "justifiable," since the fate of the athlete who lives beyond his prime, Housman contemplates, is the fear of outliving one's glory or having "the name" die "before the man." --does this make sense?

Housman's use of imagery, exemplified by "Eyes the shady night has shut," provides the poem with artistic value. By him uses imaginative wording, it hinders the fear of death, by giving it beauty. ---Does this make sense?

I was also wondering if you couple help me with this: I have to explain how the rhythm and sound of the poem ties into the themes.

for the theme of youth i selected this stanza: Smart lad, to slip betimes away/from fields were glory does not stay/and early though the laurel grows/it withers quicker than the rose.

for the theme of death i selected: Eyes the shady night has shut/Cannot see the record cut/And silence sounds no worse than cheers/After earth has stopped the ears (Housman 16-20).

Could you help me state how the rhythm of the stanzas relates to the theme?

Also could you explaint his quote too me?
And round that early-laurelled head/Will flock to gaze the strengthless dead/And find unwithered on its curls/The garland briefer than a girl's.

Also instead of stating the speaker of the poem is a close friend, could i say the speaker is death, also its from his point of view? Would that be better?

Also does this paragraph make sense: Lastly, the novel "The Great Gatsby" written by F. Scott Fitzgerald is evident to the theme that is being manifested in "To An Athlete Dying Young". Both the story and poem obtain themes that are both relevant to the subject death.

...
sarahmk   
Feb 8, 2008
Writing Feedback / The Great Gatsby - help with my grammar and essay organization [21]

I have a few more questions:

i tried looking for other ways too say romantic, and glamorous, but i cant find any, only alluring and passionate. could you help me find other ways to say romantic and glamorous.

Also are the order of these paragraphs okay...how can I link them all together in this section.

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one good and one not so good-is there anyway to say this?.

Once again thank you sooo much!
sarahmk   
Feb 8, 2008
Writing Feedback / The Great Gatsby - help with my grammar and essay organization [21]

I just posted a few questions above but i forgot to add these ones, regarding my conclusion:

1) F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby reveals the dark underbelly of the American dream, where the pursuit of happiness is warped and twisted into the corrupt pursuit of wealth. The major situations within the story are glamorous, romantic and exciting, but also crude, corrupted and disgusting. The lives of the characters, main occurrences and the setting of the story were portrayed as a double vision...---Could you help me connect this two sentences together

2) The bolded parts are the ones i need help with:

Gatsby's persona was influenced by corruption, since he results to crime to acquire prosperity. However, his wrongful actions are simply to receive Daisy's love. On the other hand, Daisy appears angelic, due to her romantic and glamorous attributes deriving form her relationship with Gatsby. But her character displays offensive actions, due to her flawed opinions regarding femininity, and abandoning Gatsby's love.

How can reword this?

3) Tom's character also obtains a contrasting personality. He's a male chauvinist, who believes in white supremacy. Howevert he acquires an alluring lifestyle. --Is there another way to say this?

Even though his actions demean women, he has an intimate relationship with Daisy and Myrtle.By participating in arranging Daisy and Gatsby's affair. Nick's character embodies corruption. However his morally wrong actions stand in opposition to romantic affair with Jordan. In contrast, Nick engages in Gatsby's word to a degree, but he was able to see the truth, while Gatsby was blinded by his dream. -- can you help me withe bolded part? Also does the overall statement make sense?

Also should the incontrast part for Nick and Gatsby go before, By participating...?

4)The events in the novel were also a representation of a double vision, since they could be seen into entirely distinguished ways. Daisy and Gatsby's reunion, the confrontation between Tom and Gatsby, and the death of Myrtle and Gatsby, could also be perceived as glamorous, romantic and exiting or disgusting, crude and corrupted. --- Is this statement okay? Also does it have grammar or spelling errors?

5)The dual concept was also demonstrated in the places within the story. The West Egg embodied ethical decay, but it obtained loyalty, whereas the East Egg was rather graceful, but it possessed crudeness. New York City and Louisville also displayed contrasting natures. Even though New York City was encountering social disparagement. It was luxurious.. In opposition, Louisville encompassed romance, but dissolutely trapped Gatsby's dream --Could you help me organize this paragraph better?

6) Also should i end the conclusion with: The Great Gatsby was a novel that protested the need of love over the need of money. Gatsby and Nick were the only two characters that took notice to the crucial values in life, being enduring love and happiness, yet their motivation for complete happiness, was destroyed by Daisy's and Tom's determination for attaining perpetual wealth. The novel portrays the East Egg as being ultimately graceful, yet it was Tom and Daisy who lived for riches, while Gatsby, lived for enduring love.

Thanks, after this i will be closer to done.
sarahmk   
Feb 8, 2008
Writing Feedback / The Great Gatsby - help with my grammar and essay organization [21]

i tried looking for other ways too say romantic, and glamorous, but i cant find any, only alluring and passionate. could you help me find other ways to say romantic and glamorous.

one good and one not so good-is there anyway to say this?.
sarahmk   
Feb 9, 2008
Writing Feedback / Examining the poem "To An Athlete Dying Young" By A.E Housman [36]

The theme of youth and death both demonstrate, the purpose of the poem is, individuals can find their abilities during their youth, but for it to be eternal, they must die to be a legend. ---can you help me reword this, and to make it sound more better? thanks sooo much
sarahmk   
Feb 9, 2008
Writing Feedback / The Great Gatsby - help with my grammar and essay organization [21]

The wealthy socialites in The Great Gatsby can be seen in two different lights - one good and one not so good

Is this a good ending: The Great Gatsby portrays Daisy as being ultimately graceful, yet it was her who lived for riches, while Gatsby lived for enduring love. Fitzgerald clearly established that in choosing wealth over live; all chance at real happiness will be lost.

thanks
sarahmk   
Feb 9, 2008
Writing Feedback / The Great Gatsby - help with my grammar and essay organization [21]

These will be the last questions i need for this essay...its 98% done

This is for the intro

1) New York city is also two-dimensional. It embodies glamour, but it too possesses corruption. Louisville also obtains contrasting characteristics, since its romantic, due to it being where Gatsby first met Daisy, yet its corrupted since Louisville imprisons Gatsby's dreams. -How can I connect the two sentences.

2) Tom shows that he is capable of love, since he also shares an intimate moment with Daisy at the end of the story, during a conversation at their dinner table, after the death of Myrtle: "There was an unmistakeable natural intimacy about the picture, and anybody would have said that they were conspiring together" (138). The use of the word "conspiring" carries with it an implication of wrongdoing, which hangs over Tom and Daisy, even in their moment of shared emotion---Does this go with my argument, that tom was capable of love?

3) This is for the conclusion, i had to restate everything in the intro, in a different way:

The events in the novel were also a representation of a double vision, since they could be seen in two entirely distinguishable ways. Daisy and Gatsby's reunion, the confrontation between Tom and Gatsby, and the deaths of Myrtle and Gatsby, could also be perceived as fascinating, loving and exhilarating, while at the same time being repulsive, crude and besmirched. Places, such as the West Egg and the East also demonstrate a dual concept. Along with New York and Louisville that encompass glamour and romance, opposed to corruption. ---Is this okay

4) this is for my last argument. i added in New york. Are the order of these paragraphs effectively linked?

It can be argued that in The Great Gatsby, places such as the West Egg and the East Egg are too a representation of a "double vision." In chapter six, Daisy is disgusted by the atmosphere of the West Egg: "She was appalled by West Egg...by its raw vigor that chafed...and by the too obtrusive fate that herded its inhabitants along a short-cut from nothing to nothing. She saw something awful in the very simplicity she failed to understand" (108). Daisy is unable to adjust to the liveliness and atmosphere of West Egg. Whereas she had come from the East and departed West, she is incapable of enjoying herself or coping with this crowd of individuals. She is acclimated to the laid back and peaceful scenery of those "white castles" at the East Egg, in contrast to "the less fashionable of the two," as Nick called the West Egg. (10). In addition, Nick in the end states: "Even when the East excited me most, even when I was most keenly aware of its superiority to the bored, sprawling, swollen towns beyond the Ohio, with their interminable inquisitions which spared only the children and the over old---even then it had always for me a quality of distortion. West Egg, especially, still figures in my more fantastic dreams"(167).

There are two sides to New York as well. Jordan says she loves New York "on summer afternoons when everyone's away." Even though New York City contains criminal activity, Jordan describes it as "very sensuous ... over-ripe, as if all sorts of funny fruits were going to fall into your hands" (119). However, she uses "over-ripe" to express that it was decaying, that in New York everything was gradually falling apart, due to its newly rich denizens who lacked sophistication.

Just as West Egg and East Egg are divided by their contrasting natures, Louisville also obtains contrasting characteristics. It is romantic, as the place where Gatsby first met Daisy, yet it is also corrupt because Louisville imprisons Gatsby's dreams. He has a difficult time letting go of the past: " He came back from France when Tom and Daisy were still on their wedding trip, and made a miserable but irresistible journey to Louisville on the last of his army pay...revisiting the out-of-the-way places to which they had driven in her white car. Just as Daisy's house had always seemed to him more mysterious and gay than other houses, so his idea of the city itself, even though she was gone from it, was pervaded with a melancholy beauty" (145).

Thanks sooo much for everything. You have been some an amazing help. You really helped me with this essay.
sarahmk   
Feb 9, 2008
Writing Feedback / Examining the poem "To An Athlete Dying Young" By A.E Housman [36]

Here are my first three paragraphs...my intro, theme of youth and theme of death. could you tell me if in these paragraphs my meaninf is supported by writing with few spelling and mechanical errors. Also if i used imagery, languange, and rhytem/sound. The usage of that is worth 20 marks, i havent finished the essay i still have to include point of view, voice and purpose.

Also could you explain the difference between a theme and the purpose of a poem? And whats the difference between point of view and a speaker? Could i put these two together?

thanks so much
sarahmk   
Feb 11, 2008
Writing Feedback / Examining the poem "To An Athlete Dying Young" By A.E Housman [36]

hello sarah...i was wonderin if you could help me come up with a topic sentence for my new paragraph. i want to be basically say, the effectiveness of the poem...something to do with the speaker, and purpose.

also do u no any other poems that talk about youth and death?

thanks
sarahmk   
Feb 12, 2008
Writing Feedback / Examining the poem "To An Athlete Dying Young" By A.E Housman [36]

This is what i came up with it sucks, its soo hard for me to do this, and i dont know why.
Can you please help me fix it up, i really dont know where to add the purpose. Can you please help thanks sooo much

In An Athlete Dying Young, a premature death is being viewed in a positive light. The effect of the poem stems from the speaker, who appears to be "death". Death's point of view, implies an ironic tone, suggesting death is not the fall of a man, yet the end of mortality. The speaker proposes the purpose of life is to achieve greatness. Through greatness one must die to be remembered as a legend. The poem allows Death to voice that he doesn't reflect gory, but glory. Death speaks of the runner as a champion, but justifies that in life, victors fade and become meaningless in the eyes of the masses: So set, before the echoes fade, the fleet foot on the sill of shade. Death was able to set the runner free before he would face humiliation of witnessing his prestige fade away.

Does the paragraph above include, the circumstances that inspired the poets words to this young athlete?

Can you help me with the purpose: I believe the purpose of the poem is that death reflects freedom, since it allows on to become a legend, whereas in life individuals become forgotten. I feel i stated this already, but i need to let the reader know its the purpose.

Through effectiveness of the poem can also be seen through assciations (Thats how i start my next paragraph. Here im going to compare it to another poem...and state my emotions. How to i talk about the effect the poem had on me, without using I?

Thank you so much, i just need to fix up my middle paragraph and conclusion for this essay and i will be finished. thanks soo much again
sarahmk   
Feb 14, 2008
Writing Feedback / Examining the poem "To An Athlete Dying Young" By A.E Housman [36]

Hey sarah, these are my two middle paragraphs. they focus on the speaker, purpose, the poems emotional effect, and an association with another poem. Could you help me with the bolded parts? Thanks.

// removed //

THanks soo much, im almost done, after this is the conclusion.
sarahmk   
Feb 15, 2008
Writing Feedback / Examining the poem "To An Athlete Dying Young" By A.E Housman [36]

this is what my teacher expects of me. Could you help me with my essay based on what he has said. Thank you so much i just want to get this essay over with, its giving me a head ache. thanks once again

- Part 1: Literary analysis: structural analysis: Paragraph 2 bottom of page 1: Rewrite the topic sentence for this paragraph to the effect that the poem has a traditional structure. Then cite that is a ballad, written from the point of view of a yeoman, a pastoral setting. Analyze the meter, the rhyme and rhythm patterns. Bring in the idea from paragraph 2 at bottom of page 1 that it uses British diction, and the example from the top of page 2. Write a concluding sentence summarizing this content.

(Housman's poetry demonstrates idiomatic English speech in lyrical verse of traditional form, meter, and rhyme. He recurrently uses the four-line ballad stanza, with an alternating rhyme format of abab. Also characteristic of Housman's verse are pithy one- to three-line epigrams, as well as dramatic monologues.) This is what i got when researching the ballad...could you please help me with this...also with a topic sentence about a pastoral setting.

- Part 1: Literary analysis: rhetorical devices Cut the paragraph at the top of page three and paste right after the first paragraph on page 2. Introduce the paragraph with something to the effect of: Houseman uses several rhetorical devices. Also paste the last part about laurel from page 2 par 1 into this paragraph.

- Part 1: Literary analysis: themes. Well done for the most part and keep as is.

- Part 2: Interpretation This begins second part of page 3. Keep as is.

- Intro and conclusion: They are quite detailed. I would just make the ideas in the subtitles clear so that the reader understand the paper has two parts, one dealing with literary analysis and the second with interpretation.

The actual assignment as given does not lend itself to a uniform thesis statement, but you did answer all of the questions asked in the instructions.

This is a very serious paper and you have spent a great deal of time on it.

please help, im so desperate...lol thanks soo much
sarahmk   
Feb 18, 2008
Writing Feedback / Examining the poem "To An Athlete Dying Young" By A.E Housman [36]

I was wondering though, does this ending make sense: Housman portrayed death as an alterative for the young athlete to achieve fame, and legacy. It shows that without death, life would have no meaning, "for death begins with life's first breath. And life begins at touch of death."
sarahmk   
Feb 20, 2008
Writing Feedback / Examining the poem "To An Athlete Dying Young" By A.E Housman [36]

sorry sarah can you just help me with this : Also i divided my essay into two parts literacy analysis and interpretation. How could i make note of this in my introduction and conclusion? I need to say it, but im not sure how...

thanks

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