Posts by fardan10

fardan10

Apr 2, 2016

Writing Feedback / What majors should university's student enroll? [2]

Hi friends, let me to respond you writing:
In sum, I extremely believe that it is more essential [...] choice for their career in the future.
My Suggestion:
To sum it up, Although the development of science and technology are of more chance than others for better career, involving in subjects which students are interested will lead them to be suceess. I firmly believe that students will be reach the bright future horizons by his choices which are relexed for them.

(in my personal argument, it is better to make a review of whole your essay in cunclusion before you emphasise your own opinion)
Nevertheless, we ~~can't~~ cannot deny this phenomenon (it is crucial in writing to not use contraction )

fardan10

Apr 2, 2016

Writing Feedback / Smoking is Littering - this habit should be limited in public areas. IELTS Taks 2 [3]

It has become debatable for smoking case in the public ...

Excuse me sir, this is my suggestion for the introduction:
Smoking is a harmful activity for public health. As such, both active and passive smoker could be affected by this behaviour. Some argue that public spaces should be protected from smokers by policy, although tax income from cigarette industry has contributed to the public bugdet. I firmly agree that health rate of society will be declined due to the smoking activity in the crowded places.

Note:
(in my perspective It is better for explaining both agree and disagree view and you can explain in the first and second BODY before emphasize your idea to agree or disagree the statement)

fardan10

Apr 2, 2016

Writing Feedback / The recent model of mass media such as internet and TV have been influencing residents activities [3]

Hi friends, this is my writing IELTS task II, I hope you can help to give some suggestion to improve my writing, thanks

Recent research has shown that media like the internet and TV have a greater influence over people's lives than politicians.
Which do you consider to be the greater influence ?

The recent model of mass media such us the internet and TV have been influencing to the residents activities based on the novel study, while others argue that it influenced more to how politicians communicate their horizons. I am pretty sure that the cutting-edge technology of media has more great effect for human attitudes than parliament members.

There is no doubt that human behaviours are influenced by the use of recent technologies. This is because it lead people especially for the pupils who imitate TV programmes or internet contents to behave in their activities. For example, when the kids watch the cartoons or entertainment programmes, sometimes they try to duplicate the example from those programmes which are possibly inappropriate. Therefore, it is shown that the human's lives have a correlation to the media which has impacted significantly to their behaviours.

However, it influenced some activities of politicians as well. This is because the internet and TV provide an opportunity to spread their idea. To illustrate, it has witnessed that there is a large number of politicians use social media such as Facebook or Twitter to campaign and share their concept throughout the societies. Barack Obama, a president of the U.S, has utilised social media for campaigning their work programmes in order to boost the standard of living of the American people. Hence, this would be essential for the politicians to change the way of politicians communicating with the public.

In conclusion, it is imperative that although the sophisticated technology is of a large impact to the politicians, the greater effect is being felt by resident lives. I firmly believe that human behaviour has been transformed due to the impact of using technology.