Posts by Brandon

Brandon_G

Apr 29, 2016

Writing Feedback / Students shall be free to study what they want, but schools should give priority to practical majors [2]

Hi there， here are my suggestions in regards to the first paragraph：

... the main role of university courses is ~~increasingly~~ becoming a source of debate. ( I would say "In the recent past, the significance of the role that university courses play has been revolved by debates.") Many people opine that the academic studies should ~~lead trainees to meet~~foucus on~~society's future~~social demands in the future . Although this view has some merits(Does a view has merits?) , I strongly believe that students are expected to retain their rightS to opt their favorite majors and universities ~~are~~ also required to independently expand (...) whether the courses are utilitarian in the future or not .

I think you need to check your grammar a little bit after paraphrasing your ideas. Best wishes.

Brandon_G

Apr 28, 2016

Writing Feedback / A practicing essay on "Talents can be trained or not". [3]

Hi, there, can anyone help me in check my essay. I am new here, I am in urge to improve my IELTS writing. Hope some one can help me, and I wish I will be able to hlep others in the future. Thanks！

Topic:

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Essay:

Some people's talents that look unattainable to the others have great appeals. Numerous people are trying to become one of talented individuals by trainning as they do not yield to the so called "fate". From my perspective, I agree that talents can be achieved postnatally.

On one hand, some people contend that the possiblity of mocking a talents is hard to predict. They claim that people who has astonishing achievements in the world have demonstrated that their super power are uncopiable. For example, Usain Bolt, the fastest athelete ever timed in the world, set and then keeps several world records in sprint so far. "No one can beat him",we heard the supporters said," it is known that Usain Bolt is talented". Thus, they assert that talents are the unique powers and skills that born with some fortunate individuals.

However, on the other hand, the challengers disagree. They point out that a number of talented and famous people, including Usain Bolt, had endevored in trainning in prior to their success. They argue that it would be impossible for Usain Bolt to win in the Olympic Games if he had not recieve any forms of trainning, that was, trainning gave him the talents. Moreover, they further reveal that, unless one is taught to become exclusive in a particular filed, unless one has made great efforts, he will bury his natual endowments in the ground.

In conclusion, admittedly, some people were born with unique endowments. However, these endowments will not belong to them forever unless they keep practing on it, because trainning can make up talents, yet natual borned ones were just good setouts.