Posts by Helenbui

Helenbui

Jun 18, 2016

Writing Feedback / In this modern era, money can buy anything, including individual gladness. Happiness vs money. IELTS [4]

In this modern era, money can buy anything=> you shouldn't use extreme words (anything, can)-> money would play a powerful role in our life

good social relationship with people in our surrounding is a main factor which influences someone to be happy since every human is social creature=> good idea but it hard to follow->

a main factor-> the main factor
influences someone to be happy=> may influence people's satisfaction rates
since every human is a social creature=> since we live in collaborating society

Helenbui

Jun 17, 2016

Writing Feedback / The line graph compares the contentment level of people on health care system in different countries [2]

TASK 1 IELTS WRITING June - LEVEL OF SATISFACTION

The line graph compares the contentment level of people on health care system in different countries namely over a 16-year period.
Overall, among these four countries, Canada and Netherland had the highest level of satisfaction rates, while the lowest figures were seen in the UK and the US.

In the 1991-1998 period, the number of people who were satisfied with health care services in Canada dropped to a low of about 20, which was the strongest decrease over the time frame. In the following period (1998-2007), this figure increased significantly to approximately 40. By contrast, the people contentment ratings of Netherland rose slightly before falling gradually in the next 9 years.

Meanwhile, over the same period (1991-2007), the patterns for the United Kingdom and the United State were almost similar which followed upward trends although the former saw a more impressive rise to 25 in 2007, while the latter stood at a humble number of 10.

p/s: Please help me! How many band scores I can get?