Undergraduate / "The #1 Bus Boy"-my work experience essay [7]

Tell me what you guys think. Thanks!

Nearly every waiter, waitress, and manager refers to me as "The #1 Bus Boy", a proud title I have acquired over the years at the Allendale Bar & Grill, a local restaurant. I pace around through the restaurant, eyes keen and searching for the next plate to be cleared, table to be cleaned, or favor to be given. My hard work, focus, and desire to help customers and staff alike has resulted in extra tips in my pocket (a rarity among bus boys), shorter waiting lists, a clean and organized workplace, and countless thank you's. For five hours I work quickly and swiftly, constantly striving to make the "AB&G" a place with excellent service, attitude, and cleanliness. My knees are weak and tired by the end of the night, but with that feeling I know I've made quite the difference.

Undergraduate / "It's not who I am underneath, it's what I do that defines me"--common app essay [16]

Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

Notes: I know this essay needs alot of work, and im not yet finished yet, but I need help in coming up with a really strong ending, as well as a stronger intro. (I think I already have some pretty good points in the body, but should I expand?). Also, I feel completely messed up on all the tenses, im not even sure what tense I should be writing this in! Anyways, I give great thanks to anyone who can put in just a little time to try and help me!

Ok everyone, heres the final copy...I think its very good and unique, but let me know what you guys think.

A few years ago, I found myself sitting in front of the television screen on an average Sunday night, yet what I thought was going to be just another normal end to a weekend actually turned into a life changing experience for me. As I clicked through the channels, trying to find at least something interesting to pass the time, I suddenly caught sight of the new Batman movie, Batman Begins, which had just been released onto HBO. The movie seemed to be midway through, but I happened to start watching at the climactic moment when Batman looked into the eyes of childhood friend and lawyer Rachel Dawes and said, "It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me."

Instantly, my mind began to spin and flood with thoughts as I attempted to digest this profound quote. I sat there, frozen on the couch, eyes staring deeply into the television screen, completely unaware of what was occurring next in the scene but instead contemplating this idea. Suddenly I realized the truth of this lesson. It is in this one moment that I truly felt my life had changed in the way I looked at myself. At the time, I believed that I possessed many admirable character traits, but I now realized these traits were meaningless if they could not be displayed through my actions. I soon developed a strong desire to prove who I really was, and every day I made it my mission to be judged by my actions and not by my perception of myself. I started to change my life, and decided to demonstrate my character traits. I began volunteering at a local day camp for mentally retarded children, and trust me, seeing any child in that condition really did bring out my true self, and gave me an idea of who I really was. I realized that I had never actually felt "compassion" before then, because in the past compassion was an abstract concept my mother always tried to teach my brothers and me, such as being compassionate towards homeless people or anyone else in dire need. Although I felt slightly uncomfortable at first, as I went to the camp day after day, I soon developed a special relationship with the kids, one that was centered around my unconditional care and affection for the children, as well a desire to make the children's day as happy and enjoyable as possible. Part of me felt burdened by the heart-wrenching sight of a child unable to open his lunchbox or tie his shoes, yet the other part of me also felt a true compassion towards that child. Therefore, instead of continuing my work of setting up the chairs and helping to clean, I followed my impulse to help that child. Instead of just doing my everyday work at the camp, I began to go that extra step to help any of the children there, whether it be staying late to help a child confined to a wheelchair get into the car to go home or cutting time out of my own lunch break to help another child eat his or her food.

Working at this kind of camp made me feel much better about myself and was my first true taste of what it is like to define myself through my actions. I recall coming home from the camp one evening, and scrolling through the HBO movies I noticed that Batman Begins was playing: I thought to myself again of how the quote from that movie applies to my life, and how it became the starting point for how I planned to live my life from then on. Now, I still carry through every day with my mission, and I try as hard as I can to make what I do the real definition of myself and my character, rather than what I may be underneath.