Posts by kenchowcn

kenchowcn

Sep 9, 2016

Writing Feedback / WT 2: Discuss Both Views: Some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important [2]

Hi Mehbub,

I will take my IELTS exam tomorrow, and I don't feel prepared. I just submit my task1 in the website, I wish someone could give me some corrections, even it's too late to have a big improvement.

Anyway, I think your essay's layout need make some adjustments, here has many methods that helped me a lot, I wish it could give you a few improvements in your writing.

write-spam/?page_id=1695
write-spam/?page_id=1764

In addition, I would like to give some comments regarding you essay, it's only my opinion.

1. The first paragraph is too long.
2. Some sentences are so long, I need read it again to catch up the main idea.

Hope you get a good score in you test.

kenchowcn

Sep 9, 2016

Writing Feedback / [IELTS Writing Task1- letter] The cafeteria is planned for closure [4]

Task 1:
You heard that the cafeteria at your work is planned for closure as it's not in use. Write a letter to your manager and request to cancel this decision.

In your letter.
- state the reason for it not being in use.
- why is it important to leave it open?
- suggest what to do with this place.

Answer:

Dear Kim,

I am writing to request to cancel a decision that company has decided to close the cafeteria next month. I hope you would negotiate with administrators after my suggestions.

We have already understood that our company has been facing financial difficulties since last year. So this is the main reason that administrative department suggested company to shut down the cafeteria for reducing extra expense.

As you may know, most of our colleagues are single, which means we couldn't bring our lunch from home everyday, because we usually choose overtime at company or go to gym after work. In addition, we don't know how to cook. So this cafeteria is quite convenient for us. Furthermore, the nearest restaurant is located ten miles from our office, so that will spend almost one hour to have a lunch. You can imagine that how important is the cafeteria's existence to us.

Honestly, I really enjoy working in our team, leaders are friendly and colleagues are talented. According to company financial circumstance, we can charge fee from colleagues who have a meal in the cafeteria, also we can open to the public. I am sure that will increase company profits.

Why don't we set up a meeting to have a further discussion. I look forward to hearing from you.

All the best,
Ken