Luca
Oct 23, 2016
Scholarship / Barcelona model of water sustainability [2]
I wanted to have your feedback on my thesis abroad scholarship motivation. Please do not hesitate to underline weak points in my text.
moreover specific issues are next:
1) Overall size of text - I want to have one A4 paper. Text shown here is exactly one A4 but I did not included self introduction (about two lines) Is it vital to have self introduction?
2) Can you suggest any points where text could be shortened? simplified?
3) Grammar?
4) What size of font is convenient to use ? is size 10 ok ?
etc ...
............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ......
Dear Sir/Madam,
Architecture has always been a passion of mine, in general and sustainable Architecture in particular has interested me most of all. Dedicating my academic life trying to find sustainable solutions for improving the environment of human being was always very appealing to me. Ongoing semester I started preparing for my thesis and general topic I'm interested, is water, as one of the most evocative and challenging elements in environmental design. As it is predicted, under the influence of global warming and other environmental issues water phenomena will gain more importance on every possible scale of human interest. Consequently, if we architects, want to stay as a profession, which is skilled in bringing resilient solutions, we need to widen our knowledge.
Throughout my academic career thus far I have taken a rigorous curriculum, mainly focusing on sustainable regeneration of European cities, big metropolitan areas as Milan, Paris, Porto, Barcelona etc. However, I produced number of projects, as a result of investigating urgent problems within these cities, one that always fascinated me is Barcelona. Home of the cultural heart of Spain, city that reexamined a tradition that shaped the imagination of my notions and continues to influence my approach to Architecture. Intense academic relations between [uni 1] and [uni 2] gave priceless opportunity to interact with Spanish professors. All of them, simultaneously being my inspiration, always bring case study of Barcelona as a unique model, understanding importance of this city in the field of Sustainable Architecture. Since 1992 Olympic Games main focus of the city has been waterfront regeneration and utilization. What makes Barcelona unique case study is success to revitalize waterfronts with creativity, quality and connectivity relative to its natural resources. Correspondingly, it has well, step by step managed projects to bring city back to water. For example, in 2008 city started ambitious plan that the main river of the metropolitan area, [riv. name], should be recovered with a general strategy, creating Metropolitan Park. Personally, I was involved in studio, reimagining deindustrialized maritime seafront of Barcelona. With invitation of Spanish professors, I visited the city few times and had chance to acquire knowledge about booming water innovations that city is implementing in its regeneration projects. Barcelona is a seamless example how to bring sustainable solutions in our future environment, using such a simple substance as a water. Despite of enduring academic and life experience of Barcelona I have yet to explore more. It is one thing to experience a city while short visit, but it is an entirely different experience to live there for an extended period of time.
As future professional my main practice will be facing tasks set by rapid change of human environment and with my thesis I want to be prepared for it. My final academic work should be strong manifest, foundation driving my academic practice in real life. As we have urgent necessity to examine water innovations, which are thriving at each scale, from moisture sensing at precise points in space and time to water-conserving environmental design. We need to study life model of complex water systems at industrial, urban, regional, and planetary scales. I believe scholarship will offer chance to advance valuable skills, that cannot be taught in the classroom. I hope I will visit Barcelona to do research under prof. [prof 1], who practices landscape Architecture at [uni 2]. Being an author of river [riv name] Metropolitan Park and many other water related landscape projects around world, I think, he can give me direction regarding existing sustainable solutions. Solutions that refer to water-conserving design ranges from green roofs to rain gardens, bioswales, xeriscape irrigation, constructed wetlands, and more. I hope, that my stay under his mentorship will bring another venue in strengthening relation of [uni 1] and [uni 2]. My experiences in Barcelona will persist beyond two months to influence my research on global scale with supervisor prof. [prof 2]
Sincerely,
Pace, Date
I wanted to have your feedback on my thesis abroad scholarship motivation. Please do not hesitate to underline weak points in my text.
moreover specific issues are next:
1) Overall size of text - I want to have one A4 paper. Text shown here is exactly one A4 but I did not included self introduction (about two lines) Is it vital to have self introduction?
2) Can you suggest any points where text could be shortened? simplified?
3) Grammar?
4) What size of font is convenient to use ? is size 10 ok ?
etc ...
............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ......
Dear Sir/Madam,
Architecture has always been a passion of mine, in general and sustainable Architecture in particular has interested me most of all. Dedicating my academic life trying to find sustainable solutions for improving the environment of human being was always very appealing to me. Ongoing semester I started preparing for my thesis and general topic I'm interested, is water, as one of the most evocative and challenging elements in environmental design. As it is predicted, under the influence of global warming and other environmental issues water phenomena will gain more importance on every possible scale of human interest. Consequently, if we architects, want to stay as a profession, which is skilled in bringing resilient solutions, we need to widen our knowledge.
Throughout my academic career thus far I have taken a rigorous curriculum, mainly focusing on sustainable regeneration of European cities, big metropolitan areas as Milan, Paris, Porto, Barcelona etc. However, I produced number of projects, as a result of investigating urgent problems within these cities, one that always fascinated me is Barcelona. Home of the cultural heart of Spain, city that reexamined a tradition that shaped the imagination of my notions and continues to influence my approach to Architecture. Intense academic relations between [uni 1] and [uni 2] gave priceless opportunity to interact with Spanish professors. All of them, simultaneously being my inspiration, always bring case study of Barcelona as a unique model, understanding importance of this city in the field of Sustainable Architecture. Since 1992 Olympic Games main focus of the city has been waterfront regeneration and utilization. What makes Barcelona unique case study is success to revitalize waterfronts with creativity, quality and connectivity relative to its natural resources. Correspondingly, it has well, step by step managed projects to bring city back to water. For example, in 2008 city started ambitious plan that the main river of the metropolitan area, [riv. name], should be recovered with a general strategy, creating Metropolitan Park. Personally, I was involved in studio, reimagining deindustrialized maritime seafront of Barcelona. With invitation of Spanish professors, I visited the city few times and had chance to acquire knowledge about booming water innovations that city is implementing in its regeneration projects. Barcelona is a seamless example how to bring sustainable solutions in our future environment, using such a simple substance as a water. Despite of enduring academic and life experience of Barcelona I have yet to explore more. It is one thing to experience a city while short visit, but it is an entirely different experience to live there for an extended period of time.
As future professional my main practice will be facing tasks set by rapid change of human environment and with my thesis I want to be prepared for it. My final academic work should be strong manifest, foundation driving my academic practice in real life. As we have urgent necessity to examine water innovations, which are thriving at each scale, from moisture sensing at precise points in space and time to water-conserving environmental design. We need to study life model of complex water systems at industrial, urban, regional, and planetary scales. I believe scholarship will offer chance to advance valuable skills, that cannot be taught in the classroom. I hope I will visit Barcelona to do research under prof. [prof 1], who practices landscape Architecture at [uni 2]. Being an author of river [riv name] Metropolitan Park and many other water related landscape projects around world, I think, he can give me direction regarding existing sustainable solutions. Solutions that refer to water-conserving design ranges from green roofs to rain gardens, bioswales, xeriscape irrigation, constructed wetlands, and more. I hope, that my stay under his mentorship will bring another venue in strengthening relation of [uni 1] and [uni 2]. My experiences in Barcelona will persist beyond two months to influence my research on global scale with supervisor prof. [prof 2]
Sincerely,
Pace, Date