Scholarship / Barcelona model of water sustainability [2]

I wanted to have your feedback on my thesis abroad scholarship motivation. Please do not hesitate to underline weak points in my text.

moreover specific issues are next:

1) Overall size of text - I want to have one A4 paper. Text shown here is exactly one A4 but I did not included self introduction (about two lines) Is it vital to have self introduction?

2) Can you suggest any points where text could be shortened? simplified?
3) Grammar?
4) What size of font is convenient to use ? is size 10 ok ?
etc ...

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Dear Sir/Madam,

Architecture has always been a passion of mine, in general and sustainable Architecture in particular has interested me most of all. Dedicating my academic life trying to find sustainable solutions for improving the environment of human being was always very appealing to me. Ongoing semester I started preparing for my thesis and general topic I'm interested, is water, as one of the most evocative and challenging elements in environmental design. As it is predicted, under the influence of global warming and other environmental issues water phenomena will gain more importance on every possible scale of human interest. Consequently, if we architects, want to stay as a profession, which is skilled in bringing resilient solutions, we need to widen our knowledge.

Throughout my academic career thus far I have taken a rigorous curriculum, mainly focusing on sustainable regeneration of European cities, big metropolitan areas as Milan, Paris, Porto, Barcelona etc. However, I produced number of projects, as a result of investigating urgent problems within these cities, one that always fascinated me is Barcelona. Home of the cultural heart of Spain, city that reexamined a tradition that shaped the imagination of my notions and continues to influence my approach to Architecture. Intense academic relations between [uni 1] and [uni 2] gave priceless opportunity to interact with Spanish professors. All of them, simultaneously being my inspiration, always bring case study of Barcelona as a unique model, understanding importance of this city in the field of Sustainable Architecture. Since 1992 Olympic Games main focus of the city has been waterfront regeneration and utilization. What makes Barcelona unique case study is success to revitalize waterfronts with creativity, quality and connectivity relative to its natural resources. Correspondingly, it has well, step by step managed projects to bring city back to water. For example, in 2008 city started ambitious plan that the main river of the metropolitan area, [riv. name], should be recovered with a general strategy, creating Metropolitan Park. Personally, I was involved in studio, reimagining deindustrialized maritime seafront of Barcelona. With invitation of Spanish professors, I visited the city few times and had chance to acquire knowledge about booming water innovations that city is implementing in its regeneration projects. Barcelona is a seamless example how to bring sustainable solutions in our future environment, using such a simple substance as a water. Despite of enduring academic and life experience of Barcelona I have yet to explore more. It is one thing to experience a city while short visit, but it is an entirely different experience to live there for an extended period of time.

As future professional my main practice will be facing tasks set by rapid change of human environment and with my thesis I want to be prepared for it. My final academic work should be strong manifest, foundation driving my academic practice in real life. As we have urgent necessity to examine water innovations, which are thriving at each scale, from moisture sensing at precise points in space and time to water-conserving environmental design. We need to study life model of complex water systems at industrial, urban, regional, and planetary scales. I believe scholarship will offer chance to advance valuable skills, that cannot be taught in the classroom. I hope I will visit Barcelona to do research under prof. [prof 1], who practices landscape Architecture at [uni 2]. Being an author of river [riv name] Metropolitan Park and many other water related landscape projects around world, I think, he can give me direction regarding existing sustainable solutions. Solutions that refer to water-conserving design ranges from green roofs to rain gardens, bioswales, xeriscape irrigation, constructed wetlands, and more. I hope, that my stay under his mentorship will bring another venue in strengthening relation of [uni 1] and [uni 2]. My experiences in Barcelona will persist beyond two months to influence my research on global scale with supervisor prof. [prof 2]

Sincerely,
Pace, Date

Scholarship / Motivation for Thesis Abroad Scholarship [2]

Hello!
I'm Luca and want to apply for thesis abroad scholarship in Barcelona.. Have some doubts about my motivation which I think is loosing main points. To go short - thesis is about two cities, scholarship is needed for research part, which will take place in Barcelona. As text is not finished I'm afraid its already getting too big and I think I had to speak about Barcelona more and earlier... I need your suggestions how to shorten, what to erase, what to add etc..

Thank you!
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Ongoing semester is last semester in my university career and this summer I already started thinking about my thesis. Initially I wanted to work on my hometown - Tbilisi, capital of Georgia. As I know this city, its plans for future development, I think now is the crucial moment to bring change and European experience - the reason why I came in Italy. As future professional my main practice will be facing tasks set by rapid development of Tbilisi and with my thesis I want to be prepared for it. My final academic work should be strong manifest, foundation driving my academic practice in real life.

I fully dedicated this summer to observations of the city, researching, meeting with local institutions, trying to detect background of problems, that Tbilisi and society are now facing. For example, in July people took to the streets as research by the International Energy Agency (IEA) said Tbilisi was the world's deadliest city in terms of death rate related to air pollution. Unfortunately, this was not surprising after all, as city of 1.3 million residence holds 400 000 cars, plus unknown number of transit vehicle. Occurred events and observation led my notions towards sustainable, green development, that could be applicable answer how to bring change?! One generic, gradual strategy should be set on different scales to increase quality of life, as one street or intervention can't be neither source of problem nor source for the solutions. Scaling between local, urban and regional solutions should be leading tool resulting accurate strategy. Lastly, I assumed my survey with selecting one part of the city, where first steps need to take place - historical center of the city, that is the focal point in terms of environmental and social issues. Now, under influence of market economy, tourist flows, immense number of vehicle, historical center is shrinking. More than 15 centuries ago city was founded here because of rich environmental resources, some are still present (thermal Sulfur waters, river, botanic gardens, iconic topography, and so on) It is absurd to see such a rich place of natural resources to have poorest quality of life in the city. I believe that historical city still can become case study to bring new life on urban and regional scale. The force driving this life could be water, as river and thermal water was the force that brought city and society here, 15 centuries ago.

Water is one of the most fascinating substances in the universe from subatomic to cosmic scales, as well as at every scale of human interest and inquiry in between. In the last century the branding of cities has become very common for urban regeneration. This has attracted more economic investment as a result of the nationwide competitive environment. Major cities all over the globe are experiencing an increase in the urban redevelopment in terms of city centre revitalization, riverfront development. Very few cities in Europe have managed to revitalize their waterfronts with creativity, quality and connectivity relative to their natural resources. However, in certain cases, like in Barcelona, this attempt to create vibrant streets, pedestrian traffic, entryways to historical centre, reclaimed waterfronts, safe sites for recreation and lodging we see as successful process. I have a fortune to know personally one of the authors of Barcelona riverfront reclamation plan - Victor Tenez Ybern. His lecture, "Back to River", given at OC Summer School brought more inspirations about my initial idea of scaling water. I started thinking about water more globally, about extensive collaboration between two cities to understand how water phenomena scale-up, scale-down, and diffuse across space and time to solve critical problems in the city, for sustainable development. Barcelona case could be perfect example for city of Tbilisi, as they share crucial specificity such as scale of river, infrastructural development along river, topography and so on.