"an epitome of a responsible" - Letter of recommendation by employer - graduate

Hi,

I am planning to take LOR from my vice president for my graduate studies. He is asked to prepare a draft so that he will review it. I have prepared a draft, could you please evaluate it and let me know is there any weak sentences? I want to take the most use of it as he is vice president.

===================================

Letter of Recommendation: Rajesh Gelli

To Whom It May Concern:

It is a privilege to write you in recommendation of Mr. Rajesh for his graduate studies at your university. As a Vice President of [comapany name], Mr. Rajesh has been working with our company for almost two years and perform the duties of a quality engineer. He is a committed employee who made commendable contributions to the success of our company.

Mr. Rajesh, is an epitome of a responsible, dependable and professional employee. He never gave a second thought to stretch his working hours whenever needed. When the company planned to form a new team for XXXXXX application, which was new to Hyderabad branch, he shown great interest to work with the new thing. He kept good efforts to work parallel with USA counterpart team and I never felt it as a new team. The best thing about Mr. Rajesh is, he is open to learn and take up new challenges. He took the initiation to work on Automation when the team started working on Selenium Automation and he is handling it independently. I am very much impressed with his programming skills and innovative ideas, which are evident from his work in Automation project and Selenium Script Conversion Tool development.

Finally, I am completely satisfied with his work and appreciate performance as well as quick understanding. I do recommend Mr. Rajesh to your university and I am quite confident in his potential and hope that he would have opportunities to study and contribute to the developments and reputation of your school.

If you need any further details about Mr. Rajesh, please contact me.

Best Regards,
XXXXXXXXXXXX

Here are my suggestions for your first para ;

It is with great privilegeplesure that I write to you in recommendation of Mr. Rajesh for his graduate studies at your university. As a Vice President of [Company name] company, Mr. Rajesh is beingis working with our company for almost two years in the capacity of a Vice President. His post asand performs the duties of a quality engineer. was superbly madeIn terms of performance, he actively and willingly does his duties and responsibilitiesHe is a dynamic, responsible and commited employee who made commendable contributions to the success of our company.

In the opening salutation of a litter, capitalize every word and use a colon:
To Whom It May Concern:
It looks strange, but that is the correct way.

It is with great privilege that I write to a privilege to write you in recommendation of Mr. Rajesh for his graduate studies at your university. -----I streamlined it. :-)

As a Vice President of [Company name] company, Mr. Rajesh is has been working with our company for almost two years.

OH, I see that Dumi made a different correction. Her correction is good, too. You can choose her recommendation or mine. Both are good.

If you want to make this even more persuasive, include some more specific examples of accomplishments that show his skill and character. Specific examples are always more convincing than claims.

He never gave a second thought to the question of whether he wo uld stretch his working hours whenever needed. When the company planned to form a new team for XXXXXX application, which was new to Hyderabad branch, he shown showed great interest in working with the new challenges. thing . He kept made good efforts to work parallel with USA counterpart team, and I never felt it as a new team.

Use a comma:
I do recommend Mr. Rajesh to your university, and I am...
:-)