(Event Coordinator position) letter for a job application-help me

I was encountered some grammar problem in writing a letter for job application. wish you could give me some suggestion on the grammar mistake that i made in order to impress them. i was ashamed that i couldn't write an impressive letter with my qualification of Bachelor Degree. yours suggestion on how to improving it would be highly appreciated.

Dear Sir/Madam,

Application for the Post of Event Coordinator

I wish to apply for the post of Event Coordinator that was advertised in the Malaysian Daily News dated 4th Feb.

2. I am fresh graduate of Bachelor Degree in mass communication. I am very interested in how to managing the public's perception of and attitude toward clients as peoples always having diversification opinions towards different things. It is this curiosity that triggered my ambition to take this course.

2. I took part in several events when I was in college in order to challenge myself for pursuing of experiences and know ledges for future workforce. Most important of all is to accustom myself into social life and familiar myself towards market brands to polish my communication skill.

3. I willing to take the initiative in making improvements of work. I do not afraid to make mistake as I believe I could realize my strengths and weaknesses from the mistake.

I have enclosed my CV and I am available for an interview at any time convenient to you. I hope to get a favorable response from you.

Thank you.

Yours faithfully,

(Lim Yee Yee)

hope can get your reply as soon as possible.thanks.

Greetings!

I'm happy to help. Learning a new language is a challenge, I know! Just stick with it and you'll improve bit by bit. Here are some editing suggestions:

I am a recent graduate with a Bachelor's Degree in mass communication. I am seeking a career path which will enable me to utilise my background in communications, specifially managing the public's perception of and attitude toward clients. The diversity of opinions and attitudes that people hold sparked my curiosity and triggered my ambition to enter this field.

I took part in several events when I was in college in order to challenge myself in my pursuit of experiences and knowledge relevant to my studies. [Here, you should give a couple of brief examples of these; "several events" is too vague to be of interest to the employer.]

[Most important of all is to accustom myself into social life and familiarise myself towards market brands to polish my communication skills.- I would remove or change this part. It makes it sound as if you don't have these skills yet.]

I am willing to take the initiative in any assigned project. I am creative, energetic and enjoy a challenge.
[I'd delete the part about making mistakes; now is not the time to make the employer think that you might make mistakes, regardless of the fact that everyone does. You might add a sentence about your unique qualities, i.e., why they should hire you.]

I have enclosed my CV and I am available for an interview at your earliest convenience. I hope to hear from you in the near future. [Some people feel it is better to suggest a time frame, such as "I will follow up with a telephone call within the next two weeks to see whether we might arrange a time to meet." However, if you're responding to an ad which just asks for CVs, that might be too pushy.]

I wish you the best in your job search!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com