The letter to express my dissatisfaction with my roommate.

Dear Madam,
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with my room -mate. As you know, we share with a room, I can not sleep if I still stay here.

My room-mate always make lots noise. She listen to rock music and switch on radio very loudly at the night.
Moreover, she also chat video calls there is a din of conversation. For me this environment is very a difficult to sleep and i need a quite room. Although I remind her many times, she still does not changes.

I request you can give me a new room next team or to warn her. I can stay here if she still do it.
I would be graceful if you can changes me a new room.
thanks
your faithfully.
Mi

I hope that these changes will help you. I know that there are quite a few changes, but I think this will help you with your letter.

1st paragraph: Roommate is one word. You can delete the hyphen. In the next sentence, delete with before room. Change the next part of this sentence to: "but I cannot sleep if I stay in that room." I would add, "For example" before the next sentence because you are going to be discussing your feelings about the situation. Change part of the sentence to, "makes lots of noise".

Change the word listen to its plural form by adding -s to the end. There needs to be a change in this sentence to: "switches on the radio". Delete "the" before night. Do you mean makes video chat calls? Add "and" before there in this sentence. Also, I think you need to place the sentence that begins with, "Although" at the end of your first paragraph. Delete the -s added on to change.

2nd paragraph: Your next paragraph should discuss your feelings about the environment. Change part of this sentence to: ..."is very difficult to sleep in and I need a quite room". I'm not sure what the next sentence is stating. Do you want to be moved? It seems like you are willing to stay because you say next time. If you want to make a request if the situation is not resolved, you could discuss how your request depends upon if there is no response to a warning. If you want to be moved then you should describe this. It maybe confusing when your request is read.

I would end the letter with "Sincerely" rather than Your faithfully.

I can not sleep...

CORRECTED: I cannot sleep. Also, to address this concern you need to add how this lack of sleep has ramifications.It makes you too tired tie study. You might fall asleep in class

radio very loudly at night...

CORRECTED: radio very loud at night...

Could this affect your hearing? What about your mental health?

I think its obvious that your roommate is inconsiderate, but by talking to her as you suggest maybe you will get s change in behavior.

Are you asking for another room if no change occurs?

Basically, a good letter, with good suggestions, and to the point. Just a few pointers on how you can clarify what you are saying.

ef_carol